[Mrtulip]

What is the definition of "special interest" and what does "special" refer to?

I understand that a special interest is a lot about something that a person is very good at but I could be wrong. The stereotype is a person memorizing lots of info, ie an interest in which you do not have to be good at something physical or motor skills.

Can a special interest be very physical?

I hear about how much enjoyment a special interest can give a person.

Does this mean that people with ASD are good at dealing with difficulties that they will experience when engaging in it?

[Breaking Dawn]

Hi, @Mrtulip! I also read your other post about activities for enjoyment. Do you know of any Autism Spectrum Disorder therapists/coaches/counselors near you who might be able to understand & help you with these difficulties? Maybe a clinic or a school that has medical help? I once had some difficulties of a different sort & got free group therapy at a college psychiatric department. So I was thinking maybe you could also get into a group with people who have similar difficulties?

[Mrtulip]

Originally Posted by Breaking Dawn

Hi, @Mrtulip! I also read your other post about activities for enjoyment. Do you know of any Autism Spectrum Disorder therapists/coaches/counselors near you who might be able to understand & help you with these difficulties? Maybe a clinic or a school that has medical help? I once had some difficulties of a different sort & got free group therapy at a college psychiatric department. So I was thinking maybe you could also get into a group with people who have similar difficulties?

What kind of problem do I have?
What issue do I need help with?

I sometimes wish I was as good as other people with ASD when it comes to engaging in an interest with all of the frustrations.
What are they doing that I fail to fo?

I have seen videos, listened to podcasts and read info on special interest and they never really mention having all of the frustration.
I guess I am the strange "aspie" who cannot have an interest that is free from frustration.

I always thought frustration and getting stuck on problems was ASD and without it you could not even recieve a diagnosis.

[Breaking Dawn]

I'm sorry, @Mrtulip, I don't have the education or experience to be able to answer your questions. But I feel bad/sad that your life is so frustrating. I hope you will be able to find a person or people who can help with all of this soon.

[Breaking Dawn]

P.S., @Mrtulip, I reread the first page of this thread & I think I can answer one of your questions. I think the person with ASD who is dealing with the difficulties & frustrations stays with it because their special interest feels fun or wonderful, so it's worth staying with. Maybe you haven't found an interest that's fun or wonderful enough, really special enough for you. Maybe you could kind of think with your heart & look for things you love. My special interests are things that I love. For example, I love birds, so I love to look at them & watch their cute behaviors, & I can walk around for hours where they are. All kinds of birds, near water, or in trees, in the air, etc.

[Mrtulip]

Originally Posted by Breaking Dawn

P.S., @Mrtulip, I reread the first page of this thread & I think I can answer one of your questions. I think the person with ASD who is dealing with the difficulties & frustrations stays with it because their special interest feels fun or wonderful, so it's worth staying with. Maybe you haven't found an interest that's fun or wonderful enough, really special enough for you. Maybe you could kind of think with your heart & look for things you love. My special interests are things that I love. For example, I love birds, so I love to look at them & watch their cute behaviors, & I can walk around for hours where they are. All kinds of birds, near water, or in trees, in the air, etc.

Isn't ornitology also frustrating? I seems difficult.

[Discombobulated]

I don’t know if this will help at all but my friend’s son who is autistic says he feels compelled with his special interest, I don’t think it’s a frustration free experience for him all of the time, although broadly speaking he is still enjoys it. I think feeling compelled is not always comfortable for him though.

Lastly I think a special interest can be anything and it can be physical, for example a sport.

Are you happy to talk about your special interest and the problems you’ve encountered? You don’t have to if you’re not comfortable, of course.

[divine1966]

Wrong thread

[Breaking Dawn]

Originally Posted by Discombobulated

I don’t know if this will help at all but my friend’s son who is autistic says he feels compelled with his special interest, I don’t think it’s a frustration free experience for him all of the time, although broadly speaking he is still enjoys it. I think feeling compelled is not always comfortable for him though.

Lastly I think a special interest can be anything and it can be physical, for example a sport.

Are you happy to talk about your special interest and the problems you’ve encountered? You don’t have to if you’re not comfortable, of course.

[Mrtulip]

Originally Posted by Discombobulated

I don’t know if this will help at all but my friend’s son who is autistic says he feels compelled with his special interest, I don’t think it’s a frustration free experience for him all of the time, although broadly speaking he is still enjoys it. I think feeling compelled is not always comfortable for him though.

Lastly I think a special interest can be anything and it can be physical, for example a sport.

Are you happy to talk about your special interest and the problems you’ve encountered? You don’t have to if you’re not comfortable, of course.

I experience that I sometime struggle with my interests. It is like I should be better than I am.

I can, for example, have be upset with myself when I cannot memorize the text I'm trying to memorize. Then I feel that I suck at something that I should be good at.
It takes too much time and energy in order for me to memorize a text. I might be a slow learner.

I sometimes envy al those people with a special interest who are so good at something. It would be nice to a special talent like most people with ASD. But I do not have a special interest.
I do not have an interest in which everything is so easy.

[Discombobulated]

I’m not sure that most people with ASD have a special talent. I know one person who is a talented musician and he is very good at hyper focusing which allows him to shut out distractions I think. But I’m not sure it’s typical to be able to do this.

When you describe memorising text, that sounds quite challenging to me. Is the text about a particular subject area?

[Mrtulip]

Originally Posted by Discombobulated

I’m not sure that most people with ASD have a special talent. I know one person who is a talented musician and he is very good at hyper focusing which allows him to shut out distractions I think. But I’m not sure it’s typical to be able to do this.

When you describe memorising text, that sounds quite challenging to me. Is the text about a particular subject area?

Aren't we supposed to be bad at a lot of stuff but very good at other stuff?
I guess some people like an interest even if they are not good at it.
I know people who are bad at stuff but still enjoy doing it. I am sure they aren't aware of it.

I guess many of us focus on all of our problems we have. I am one of those asperger dudes.
I cannot have a special interest since I focus on problems too much.
Many people with ASD focus on their strenghr or never care about the problems. They can have a special interest, right?

I think the people who are talking about special interests are only talking about a few people.
They do not represent all of us, I tell you!

[Discombobulated]

Yes I think there’s a lot said about ASD which isn’t necessarily true of all people who have it.

I think I might know what you mean, in a way it sounds a bit like perfectionism?

[Breaking Dawn]

Originally Posted by Discombobulated

Yes I think there’s a lot said about ASD which isn’t necessarily true of all people who have it.

I think I might know what you mean, in a way it sounds a bit like perfectionism?

I think so, too. But perfectionism usually comes from harsh parents that demanded no mistakes. I know what that feels like, as probably many of us here at MSF do.

[Mrtulip]

Originally Posted by Breaking Dawn

I think so, too. But perfectionism usually comes from harsh parents that demanded no mistakes. I know what that feels like, as probably many of us here at MSF do.

Isn't it more about being detailed-focused, ie focusing on some details that you think are extremely important?

[Mrtulip]

Originally Posted by Discombobulated

Yes I think there’s a lot said about ASD which isn’t necessarily true of all people who have it.

I think I might know what you mean, in a way it sounds a bit like perfectionism?

I think too many people with ASD talk about ASD by focusing on how it affects themselves.
The thing about special interests is only about some of us. It is not about me as I do not even have on. I have even talked to a professional about it.
Most people I have met are not like that. They do not have an interest like that.

I wish people with ASD would stop saying that we all have a special interests and love to engage in it and are so happy when do it.
That only represent some of the ASD people.

And then what about all those chefs you see on tv? Do they need to have ASD because they have a strong interest in something? No.
Special interests is a lot about being engaged in an interest and experience pleasure.
The chefs in tv shows are also very frustrated ar times. So they do not have a special interest.

Special interests is all about pleasure. I wonder how some people with ASD can have an interests with only pleasure.

I guess many people with ASD have an activity that they do not try to be good at. Cause everytime you tey to be good you will experience frustration.
If you have no expectation of being good than you will have less frustration.

Special interests must be about an activity in which you do not care about becoming good, right?

[Discombobulated]

Originally Posted by Breaking Dawn

I think so, too. But perfectionism usually comes from harsh parents that demanded no mistakes. I know what that feels like, as probably many of us here at MSF do.

I think it definitely can for many as you say Dawn I’m not sure it’s always like that though. I think with ASD it can be a hyper focus thing perhaps, although I’m no expert.

[Discombobulated]

You express yourself very well Mr Tulip and those are very interesting points.

I’d agree it’s not helpful to have a model of what ASD is, it’s a spectrum after all, as I understand it some will experience some elements but not others so it’s not appropriate to generalise. That’s how I see it anyhow.

Detailed oriented makes sense, and that could be part of hyper focus. Is it the case that you would become upset with yourself for missing out a word for example in the text you’re memorising?

[Mrtulip]

Originally Posted by Discombobulated

You express yourself very well Mr Tulip and those are very interesting points.

I’d agree it’s not helpful to have a model of what ASD is, it’s a spectrum after all, as I understand it some will experience some elements but not others so it’s not appropriate to generalise. That’s how I see it anyhow.

Detailed oriented makes sense, and that could be part of hyper focus. Is it the case that you would become upset with yourself for missing out a word for example in the text you’re memorising?

That could be the case.
People like to generalize too much, I think.
I never understood why that would be helpful at all.
I think what we have is people talking about how ASD affects them and other people they might know and say that is how autism is like.
Much of what is said i how autism may actually only represent some of us.

Some say that autistic people have meltdowns but I met one person with ASD who never experienced it.
We are alö so different.
Even NT people are very different and somemof them find socializing difficult at times.
NTs have difficulties as well. That is what they tell me.

[Breaking Dawn]

I'm so glad Discombobulated understood what you explained. It's easier for me to understand now, too. I'm wishing you all the best, @Mrtulip!