[AzulOscuro]

I heard in a radio program where a guy with Asperger’s syndrome told about his childhood and adolescence went through lots of difficulties because some people as As$holes and they can even accept other people are different to them.

Thanks god, there are many people different to these brainless bullies.

[Yaowen]

I have been bullied before. It was awful.

[zapatoes]

Yes I moved around every few years and experienced mean girls in middle school and high school. It was kind of fun moving around often, except being the new kid every few years was sometimes challenging. Being different is often more interesting than being normal and being normal is overrated. It is difficult not being a neurotypical.

[zapatoes]

If I could be neurotypical life would be much easier or so it seems.

[sarahsweets]

Ive had a “mean girls” experience. Then I found some self assurance and gonads and stopped taking it.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[AzulOscuro]

It will take me a time to reply to your responses. On one hand, because the thread was addressed to people with Asperger’s syndrome but on another hand I want to talk with each one of you about your experience. Because I’m very concerned about this topic in general. But I need to think deeply what to ask you because I know (not for my own experience since I was the one who bullied myself) but I guess your situation had to be a nightmare and my understanding is that it’s a very touchy topic for you all.

I’m sorry so much, so much that you all had to go through this.

[Mountaindewed]

Yeah I am autistic and was bullied from preschool into the work place. It didn't help that I have a speech issue where I can not pronounce my R's or my S's. Things did get a lot better after I was done with high school and I only dealt with a few rude people as an adult. No clue what it will be like when I return to work. Especially now.

[The_little_didgee]

I'm a person with ASD and a speech impediment who has also endured bullying in school. It got so bad that I had to switch schools.

My literal nature, "odd" interests and problems with face recognition (prosopagnosia) did not help me make friends at all. It all made me stand out and not in a good way.

In my experience the worst bullies were female. Lady drama is what I call it. I have avoided workplaces where most of the employees were ladies for this one reason. -- I have never been bullied at work.

Bullying has left an indelible mark on me. There is nothing harmless about it.

[zapatoes]

Well, have something similar to what used to be called Asperger’s and now called high functioning autism, have NVLD, non verbal learning disorder. So yes not always understanding non verbal communication makes me different than neurotypicals.

[AzulOscuro]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

Yeah I am autistic and was bullied from preschool into the work place. It didn't help that I have a speech issue where I can not pronounce my R's or my S's. Things did get a lot better after I was done with high school and I only dealt with a few rude people as an adult. No clue what it will be like when I return to work. Especially now.

Such a long time being bullied. That makes me recall how stupid some people can be.
I wish when you return to work find normal and not brainless people.

[AzulOscuro]

Originally Posted by The_little_didgee

I'm a person with ASD and a speech impediment who has also endured bullying in school. It got so bad that I had to switch schools.

My literal nature, "odd" interests and problems with face recognition (prosopagnosia) did not help me make friends at all. It all made me stand out and not in a good way.

In my experience the worst bullies were female. Lady drama is what I call it. I have avoided workplaces where most of the employees were ladies for this one reason. -- I have never been bullied at work.

Bullying has left an indelible mark on me. There is nothing harmless about it.

I understand how hard had to be being treat as if you were inferior. Only for having some different characteristics as we all really have. Because this is the true. We are all different some way or another.

Females tend to be very judgemental with other females, due to rivalry.

[AzulOscuro]

Originally Posted by zapatoes

Well, have something similar to what used to be called Asperger’s and now called high functioning autism, have NVLD, non verbal learning disorder. So yes not always understanding non verbal communication makes me different than neurotypicals.

I understand you. I also have some difficulties reading non verbal communication, but I haven’t been diagnosed. Maybe it’s not so much as to be diagnosed with it as in your case.
Oh my god! Having to move to one place to another, it had to be very difficult thus.

[AzulOscuro]

Originally Posted by sarahsweets

Ive had a “mean girls” experience. Then I found some self assurance and gonads and stopped taking it.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Well for you! 👍
Sometimes, it has to be like that but you need to find the strength and strong enough to face to the consequences. Thanks god, you got rid of it victoriously.

[AzulOscuro]

Originally Posted by zapatoes

If I could be neurotypical life would be much easier or so it seems.

Yes, being normal. This has been all I’m being expiring for so long. Now, I don’t care.

[AzulOscuro]

Originally Posted by Yaowen

I have been bullied before. It was awful.

Why? Maybe because you are smart and intelligence. That kinds of things rose envy. Or maybe because you were shy. This is another extended reason in the world today.

[Discombobulated]

I don’t have a diagnosis, but I score high on AQ test and I do have traits consistent with some aspects of autism.

Yes I was bullied in high school, and I think that will stay with me always although in some ways it gave me a deeper understanding of others suffering/injustices.

My own thoughts are that AS people are often naive about others intentions, and that can make them a target. Yes absolutely it’s been my experience that girls were so much more adept at cruelty, and you’re probably right Azul about competitiveness. I think at least one of my bullies came from an abusive home too. The saddest thing was I just wanted her to like me - and she would use that sometimes by pretending she was my friend only to switch. Even now I remember the pain of just wanting to be liked/fit in, but I never did fit in the mainstream and even now only have a small group of friends.

Can I ask do you ask this question for a reason? I think you wrote your nephew is AS? Is he doing okay?

[RoxanneToto]

I was diagnosed with autism at 17, but it was a misdiagnosis - I have C-PTSD, which has overlapping key symptoms with autism (I displayed all of them). That said, I experienced a lot of bullying in all the schools I went to, and suspect I’m not neurotypical anyway.

[AzulOscuro]

Originally Posted by Discombobulated

I don’t have a diagnosis, but I score high on AQ test and I do have traits consistent with some aspects of autism.

Yes I was bullied in high school, and I think that will stay with me always although in some ways it gave me a deeper understanding of others suffering/injustices.

My own thoughts are that AS people are often naive about others intentions, and that can make them a target. Yes absolutely it’s been my experience that girls were so much more adept at cruelty, and you’re probably right Azul about competitiveness. I think at least one of my bullies came from an abusive home too. The saddest thing was I just wanted her to like me - and she would use that sometimes by pretending she was my friend only to switch. Even now I remember the pain of just wanting to be liked/fit in, but I never did fit in the mainstream and even now only have a small group of friends.

Can I ask do you ask this question for a reason? I think you wrote your nephew is AS? Is he doing okay?

The thread came from a sad event that happened here in Spain a few months ago. A young guy, Samuel, a brilliant guy, a creative guy, a rapper, was stabbed under a tunnel by a Latin gang. Samuel died because of the stab wounds.
The thing is that he had Asperger’s syndrome and it seems “the reason” for his homicide was a misunderstanding between him and a member of this gang. A misunderstanding that had to do with his condition. You know, these people have no filters, they find hard to socially understand others.

I knew of this event through TV and a podcast where topics like these, are deeply analysed and the son of the person who hosts this podcast happens to be a person with the syndrome. He talked about the terrible experiences he suffered at school and secondary education about bullying.

As I’m a teacher I was always concerned about bullying in general, and in this case, as my nephew was diagnosed with AS, I was wondering how much society knows about this syndrome and how much it can be target of bullying.

Of course, I wonder up to which point my nephew feels apart from others in school and if he is treat in a different way.
I know how sensitive he is and I see he sometimes feels excluded even when he’s with us. I can see it in his face. I rapidly approach to him and play or tell him something to show how much I love him and distract him by asking him to help me or bringing up a topic I know he’s interested in.

I know how cruel people can be, especially the ignorant ones and those who lack of empathy.

It seems my nephew is going pretty well so far. He turned 11 some days ago. He’s lucky because he has loving parents and family.

You never told me about your traits of autism. Is it the same as me, lack of social skills because of social anxiety or lack of self-confidence?
I’m very sorry that you were bullied. There’s no reason for a kid suffering because others mess with him/her or ignore him/her.

I have seen so much in the school I’ve worked in.
Any stupid reason such as, race, shyness, physical appearance, sex orientation, place of origin, etc. whatever may spark hate and bullying from others.
I have had kids called terrorists only because they were muslins.

[AzulOscuro]

Originally Posted by RoxanneToto

I was diagnosed with autism at 17, but it was a misdiagnosis - I have C-PTSD, which has overlapping key symptoms with autism (I displayed all of them). That said, I experienced a lot of bullying in all the schools I went to, and suspect I’m not neurotypical anyway.

I know what PTSD is but What does C-PTSD stand for?
Btw, and over all, I’m very sorry you were bullied. Bullies stink.

[Discombobulated]

The world needs more teachers like you Azul, it’s good you are so aware of bullying with your students. The one teacher I told about the bullying didn’t act on it and I never told anyone else about it. But this was the old days (1980s).

Yeah with me it’s mainly social deficits! I can be literal, and if I’m interested in something I find out everything about it. I’ve had a lifetime of working to fit in, but didn’t realise not everyone has to do that, I’m pretty good at observing and taking notes however.

I’m sure your nephew will do well with good family support, and that he’ll have many strengths also.

[AzulOscuro]

You made me blush with that about teachers like me being needed. 😀
Yes, you are not the first one who has told me that at school was made nothing about a bullying case.
I however think that if there’s a moment when the teacher, the tutor, school and Educational authorities have to intervine is in these cases of bullying.
It’s like when a kid is mistreat at home. It produce many wounds in the kid and the bullies also have to take responsibility and learn.
I couldn’t ignore a thing like that. It’s not that all the time you have to make a big deal because it’s punctual but even in these case, you have to make the kid know that it’s a bad thing to do. Many times, when the bully sees you don’t approve a disrespect to a mate. It makes him/her think.

If it’s needed to go beyond, your obligation is to go beyond. How many kids have died because they have been neglected and abuse by their relatives or how many kids have committed suicide because they couldn’t take in a single more day at school because they have been bullied while many adults have washed themselves their hands.

In the past, there were a long group of people, the neighbourhood, the town, the tribe who use to involve themselves in the kids education, no matter if they were their own kid or somebody else’s kid. And now, not even teachers can do it. It’s not easy to get to an agreement with the parents, with the director of a school or the Administration. Or even, the law, in the worst cases. So, it’s not easy.

I understand the symptoms you describe and I see how you felt reflected with people with Asperger Syndrome. It doesn’t make you necessarily a person with Asperger. I’m very much like you, socially, and I’m not autistic.
Said that, that it lacks of relevance, the thing is that anything you may have or show that it’s different to the norm, it’s put in the spot.
If you are black within white people, if you are shy, if you find harder to socialised, if you are perceive as weaker, or a more studious person, if you have any disability, whatever can make a target of you.
I’m strange that it still happens nowadays. It means we are receiving subtle messages that didn’t match well with the other messages about accepting people as equal.
This is my concern.
We are living the lives that other people are interested we live and think what they are interested we think.

I think I get out of topic for a moment. I’m asking myself a lot of question about how the world is going and why.

[InkyTinks]

I have experienced bullying throughout life. when I was very young it wasn't too bad i had my mothers protection and dedication to helping me and a good medical team (I was born with a condition then rare in babies in the 60's).


Because it wasn't found for so long I also ended up with autism and major issues with dissociation. (also had epilepsy in childhood). so as I grew my 'oddities' became more and more obvious

Although with my mothers help I'd manage to catchup academically enough to avoid a 'special school' no-one seemed to consider emotional/social development as important back in those days.


As long as I wasn't too disruptive and could read and write and do most of the work, sit quietly and answer questions I was close enough to normal to be allowed to stay in a mainstream school! (also influenced by the fact that we lived rurally and the nearest special school was hundreds of miles away)


In a small village school I received enough help and other kids were discouraged from making fun of me but in a huge secondary school with 32 kids per class and thousands in the school overall, you are very much on your own! ..I just did not have the skills to cope or understand the 'unspoken' social rules. No-one made exceptions for 'my difficulties' and teasing was cruel and unforgiving.

Everything I did was pointed out and made fun so I became so hyperaware and paranoid that school became terrifying. I had to 'come out of my own world to survive or more..I 'sent out' someone else to mimic others so I appeared 'normal' and my previous 'imaginary friends' became 'social masks' with their own identities and likes & dislikes (usually the opposite to mine and whatever was popular to be into to at the time).


'I' disappeared and what was left was who people expected to see ..a 'functional drone/social mask' there to 'get through the day'. I could be whoever would get us what was needed to survive and be seen to be progressing but I was never 'me' in front of anyone else again for many years.


The menopause (or peri) 'unmasked' me as I was so exhausted of having to mask by then and the intolerances and changes in mood/behaviour that this stage brings made me feel very 'couldn't care less' The pandemic isolated me further and finally after spending years isolated I felt able to ditch the masks (at least with immediate family) and just avoided anyone I'd have to 'mask up' for.


I definitely think bullying hugely affects a person's psyche and development and relationships. I never married I didn't want kids who would grow up to make fun of me,neither did I want to find myself trapped in an abusive relationship I couldn't get out of. I don't like meeting people face to face and my first thought is usually 'what are they capable of doing to me if I let them get too close', so I have no real life friends.



I'm not necessarily 'happy' alone but I'm safe from others and my beloved dogs give me the type of unconditional love I got from my mother in childhood.

Sadly she had cancer in my late teens (when it was still very much a death sentence back then) and when I was still far from ready to take on the world without her.


We didn't know I had autism back then, although it was suspected in college but not officially diagnosed until many years later after a 'mental breakdown'

I suspect I have some form of dissociative disorder too and have always had but have no interest in going through hell (or 'therapy' as the real world calls it) to 'prove it' and just end up heavily medicated!

I've never been medicated for it just learnt to control it/hide it when I needed to (in front of others).

[Skeezyks]

I was bullied both verbally and physically throughout high school by a gang of older boys. At one point one of them beat me up breaking my nose. But when he was asked why he did it, he said I called him a name. (I should have been so bold!) So I got blamed for it. At one point I even went to the school principal because I was so distraught. But he just told me I should take a look at myself and he walked away. My parents knew what was going on. But I guess they didn't think enough of it to care either. It may be too strong to say all of this destroyed my life. (I've been pretty good at accomplishing that myself.) But it certainly didn't help.

[Fuzzybear]

I was bullied at school, verbally and physically. Someone (an adult) later told me they also abused me in other ways. That part, I do not remember.

[AzulOscuro]

Originally Posted by InkyTinks

I have experienced bullying throughout life. when I was very young it wasn't too bad i had my mothers protection and dedication to helping me and a good medical team (I was born with a condition then rare in babies in the 60's).


Because it wasn't found for so long I also ended up with autism and major issues with dissociation. (also had epilepsy in childhood). so as I grew my 'oddities' became more and more obvious

Although with my mothers help I'd manage to catchup academically enough to avoid a 'special school' no-one seemed to consider emotional/social development as important back in those days.


As long as I wasn't too disruptive and could read and write and do most of the work, sit quietly and answer questions I was close enough to normal to be allowed to stay in a mainstream school! (also influenced by the fact that we lived rurally and the nearest special school was hundreds of miles away)


In a small village school I received enough help and other kids were discouraged from making fun of me but in a huge secondary school with 32 kids per class and thousands in the school overall, you are very much on your own! ..I just did not have the skills to cope or understand the 'unspoken' social rules. No-one made exceptions for 'my difficulties' and teasing was cruel and unforgiving.

Everything I did was pointed out and made fun so I became so hyperaware and paranoid that school became terrifying. I had to 'come out of my own world to survive or more..I 'sent out' someone else to mimic others so I appeared 'normal' and my previous 'imaginary friends' became 'social masks' with their own identities and likes & dislikes (usually the opposite to mine and whatever was popular to be into to at the time).


'I' disappeared and what was left was who people expected to see ..a 'functional drone/social mask' there to 'get through the day'. I could be whoever would get us what was needed to survive and be seen to be progressing but I was never 'me' in front of anyone else again for many years.


The menopause (or peri) 'unmasked' me as I was so exhausted of having to mask by then and the intolerances and changes in mood/behaviour that this stage brings made me feel very 'couldn't care less' The pandemic isolated me further and finally after spending years isolated I felt able to ditch the masks (at least with immediate family) and just avoided anyone I'd have to 'mask up' for.


I definitely think bullying hugely affects a person's psyche and development and relationships. I never married I didn't want kids who would grow up to make fun of me,neither did I want to find myself trapped in an abusive relationship I couldn't get out of. I don't like meeting people face to face and my first thought is usually 'what are they capable of doing to me if I let them get too close', so I have no real life friends.



I'm not necessarily 'happy' alone but I'm safe from others and my beloved dogs give me the type of unconditional love I got from my mother in childhood.

Sadly she had cancer in my late teens (when it was still very much a death sentence back then) and when I was still far from ready to take on the world without her.


We didn't know I had autism back then, although it was suspected in college but not officially diagnosed until many years later after a 'mental breakdown'

I suspect I have some form of dissociative disorder too and have always had but have no interest in going through hell (or 'therapy' as the real world calls it) to 'prove it' and just end up heavily medicated!

I've never been medicated for it just learnt to control it/hide it when I needed to (in front of others).

Thank you very much for sharing your story with us.
I’m sorry a lot your dear mum passed away so soon and I understand she was the most important people in your life. Sure, she was the best mother in the Universe. So unfair, she went off.

You are so right. Being bullied is like saying to the person who is bullied: You are weird, you are less than us. You don’t have value. It’s us who count and matter.

Such a big lie than I would bet they neither believe it. Or their value as human is zero or the values they received from their caretakers are wrong or none.
People who use to plant the chaos around them usually is because the chaos is inside them.

I totally agree that teachers, principal of schools, social services and even the police and law has to make a role to treat both bullied and people who bull others. I’m not putting both in the same level. My heart is with the first ones. But they both need interventions.

I’m so truly sorry that you had to get through all this.
Lots of hugs and kisses for you!!!!