my son's got Asperger's... he can turn very violent... curse and use a very bad sexual vucabulary...
as if that wasn't enough he also touches himself in a certain area... strip himself in front of the mirror... suck his own nipples... moans and groans... approaches our dog...
we are grossed out by this behavior... fed up with the words pouring out every day...
meds isn't working... strategies... social stories... no...
my son also has traits of ADHD and a lot of his issues manifests due to impulses getting through too easily.

and yes... we have tried both methods: 1.tell him to stop and 2.ignore it...

[chaotic13]

(((daynnight)))

This situation sounds very challenging. I imagine that the first response of friends and family is to point out all the things they think you should be doing to correct this behavior.

When you posted you didn't mention if you have a professional to help you map out behavioral modification strategies. I have not experience in dealing with Asperger's, however I have a colleague who has a child with this diagnosis. They have been very active in seeking professional support and intervention as he develops. Although I do not know all of the things they do for this child, I do know that they have a structured procedures for dealing with various challenges he encounters.

It sounds to me like his doctor may not be "getting" what you are having to cope with. Is it possible to schedule a team meeting with the professionals treating him and re-assess/ collaborate on a comprehensive plan to address these issues. If all you are getting from them is 1) tell him to stop, or 2) ignore it, then maybe looking for other professionals might be in order.

(((daynnight))) I hope you can get the help you need.

we're seeing both a child psychologist and psychiatrist.

the methods I referred to are of course not the only things we're trying I was only letting others know the obvious before I get that advice once more... ;-)

this is a loooong story and right now I'm too tired to write more...

anyway... I received a warm big hug from my son this evening... that's mmmm... have to see the little things... which are big to me.

structured procedures for dealing with various challenges he encounters.

yes, we think like that too... but sometimes the answers are very hard to find... hmm...

thank you for taking the time to reply to my post! It means a lot to me!

[sunrise]

Dear Daynnight--so challenging, so challenging. So hard to be parents when this is how it is, when we are trying as hard as we can and nothing seems to work. I have a challenging child too.

Are your professionals expert in autism/Asperger's? If not, you might also seek additional suggestions from a center that specializes in that. For example, in my city there is a center for research on autism/Asperger's at the big university, and they offer many resources/services. Another idea--do you think it would be helpful to attend a support group for parents of children with Asperger's?

[chaotic13]

Originally Posted by daynnight

we're seeing both a child psychologist and psychiatrist.

Are both of these professional really involved in helping you? Do you feel like they are listening and comprehending what your day is like? Are they continually helping you find out about available services that you may qualify for? Sometimes, health professionals just really don't take time to listen to what their patients are saying and appreciating what is really going on daily. For example it is easy for a physician to ignore that a patient in is pain and not getting the right pain medication, because they don't have to deal with the pain or deal with the patient moaning and groaning in th middle of the night.

How old is your son? I know in my colleague's case the child was dx'ed early and has received various services since like age 3. He is now in junior high and seems to be doing pretty well. Just from the small part of this family's life I've seem, I can tell that the worry and stress can be overwhelming even with the help of qualified and dedicated professionals.

daynnight...I hope you can get the help and support you need for both you and your son.

[pegasus]

Originally Posted by daynnight

my son's got Asperger's... he can turn very violent... curse and use a very bad sexual vucabulary...
as if that wasn't enough he also touches himself in a certain area... strip himself in front of the mirror... suck his own nipples... moans and groans... approaches our dog...
we are grossed out by this behavior... fed up with the words pouring out every day...
meds isn't working... strategies... social stories... no...
my son also has traits of ADHD and a lot of his issues manifests due to impulses getting through too easily.

and yes... we have tried both methods: 1.tell him to stop and 2.ignore it...

My heart goes out to you ((((((( Nina )))))))) and your son who I know you love dearly.

Children with severe autism/aspergers can display disturbing behaviour as you have described. I have worked with autistic children and found the best method was to teach them to use other distractions instead. It takes a lot of patience. With autism they are not aware of other people's feelings or what is or isn't socially acceptable. It needs to be taught,(repetition, over and over) with patience and understanding from their point of view. And yes you need caring professionals to help you.

Originally Posted by pegasus

My heart goes out to you ((((((( Nina )))))))) and your son who I know you love dearly.

Children with severe autism/aspergers can display disturbing behaviour as you have described. I have worked with autistic children and found the best method was to teach them to use other distractions instead. It takes a lot of patience. With autism they are not aware of other people's feelings or what is or isn't socially acceptable. It needs to be taught,(repetition, over and over) with patience and understanding from their point of view. And yes you need caring professionals to help you.

(((dayandnight)))))) (((pegs))) is correct.
With my son , he only had PDD. The younger years were hard. Not as hard as yours sound thou and my heart goes out to you.
It takes so much patience which i know you have, Repetition pegs is correct on that all the way.
One of the most wonderful thing that helped my son. Was the help I got from friends on how they dealt with my son. Even thou no oneand I mean no one could understand him when he talked . They listened to him. Took as much time as he needed some how they communcated with him with such understanding,
Even when my son did not get it the patience everyone showed was remarkable.
My heart goes out to you and your son.
Remember to take care of you which I know is so very hard.
I still get up with my son as he still at 18 walks in his sleep. close to every night. Not at all what you are going threw thou....but it wears on me.
Please know there is hope. And love will help him which i know you give.
My son by the way was accepeted at college. Will dorm there.
Never give up as it was along road for my son....it can get better
yours will make with you as his mom
Muffy

((daynight)))))))))))))))))) i hope things are going alittle better

thanks all of you for caring and giving your input!

my son's 10 years old...

he also seem to have tourette's syndrome but not been fully diagnosed for it.

yes... repeating the same thing over and over again is needed... but still doesn't always "do the trick".

we're going to see our son's psychologist next week... so we'll continue this journey towards a calmer future...

((((((((((((((((((((((daynnight)))))))))))))))))))))

I have a son with autism/aspergers and I just wanted to give you a because I KNOW how hard it can be.

Try to get some time for "you". I went to my older son's baseball game yesterday while my autistic son stayed home with my H, and then I had band practice (I'm in a rock band) with my friends and I felt SO refreshed at the end of the day, and much much more able to deal with whatever came my way. It's SO easy to get burned out. I don't know about you, but we can't use babysitters for my son, because there is NO way to explain how closely he needs to be watched and to count on them to do it, so it's hard to "get away"...but over the years, we have discovered ways (having close family friends who understand him watch him, taking turns with H so one of us can get out, etc.)

Many to you!

Originally Posted by earthmama

((((((((((((((((((((((daynnight)))))))))))))))))))))

I have a son with autism/aspergers and I just wanted to give you a because I KNOW how hard it can be.

Try to get some time for "you". I went to my older son's baseball game yesterday while my autistic son stayed home with my H, and then I had band practice (I'm in a rock band) with my friends and I felt SO refreshed at the end of the day, and much much more able to deal with whatever came my way. It's SO easy to get burned out. I don't know about you, but we can't use babysitters for my son, because there is NO way to explain how closely he needs to be watched and to count on them to do it, so it's hard to "get away"...but over the years, we have discovered ways (having close family friends who understand him watch him, taking turns with H so one of us can get out, etc.)

Many to you!

(((((daynnight))))))((((((((((((((earthmama)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
My son as you know has PDD.LD>OCD. When yound he heard voices. And so much more. To long of a story now .
I want you both to know there is hope. Hes 18 now and has come so far, Hes off meds. HE can now function on his own.
i never left him alone once. With a babysitter, Im not sure if I even slept all those years.
Never give up hope thou...............these kids can go so very very far
Good luck to you both
muffy

I don't know about you, but we can't use babysitters for my son, because there is NO way to explain how closely he needs to be watched and to count on them to do it, so it's hard to "get away"...

I hear you! babysitters aren't working...
As from the middle of December we've got help in our home... but we all have to pull together and work hard side by side to somehow make it work.
Hubby just now had to get back home from work too early because of the guy working in our home fell and hit his head and can't come today. To be alone with our son and our daughter from the early morn until now little before 2 pm is a struggle. Hubby's out taking a walk with our son and the dog right now... so a few minutes of peace...

If it wasn't for a very special friend of mine being so caring and listening... I would just sit here crying right now... The social life is close to non existent... so I really value this friend highly. She's a treasure! (((((( silentandscared )))))) Thank you, hunny! You're dealing with so much hurt in life yourself and still you show so much compassion towards me...

ok... they are back after the walk now...

take care all!

((((((( earthmama ))))))))))) ((((((((( muffy ))))))))))


Thank you for your words both of you!

[silentandscared]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{ Nina and Family }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}


always here for you all..................love you all so much, lean , lean , lean hunny.................you are so so strong and so good with G you just cant see it when you are completely exhausted

you will all go far hunny................the strength shines out from you even when you have had a really bad day, keep doing what you do so well, and l will be here standing right at your side through it all always

Love you hunny
Mandyxxbig strong hugs for you hunny