[che170]

My Son was diagnosed with AS when he was 9 years old. He is about to turn 18. I saw him got through many struggles, mostly in middle school. As time went on, he was able to handle things better, but still struggles with social skills. He usually went to the West to visit with his Dad, at least a month every summer. Last summer he went for a visit, and called me one day stating he wanted to move out there with his Dad. My Son and I are very close, his Dad and I divorced when he was 2 1/2 years old. His Dad and I remained friends, but to let him go, there were many mixed emotions. There was the selfishness on my part of how much I'd miss him, but there was also the AS. I had always tried to keep stability in his life, and with such a big move, especially in his Sr. year I was reluctant. I started to think though, he wanted to make such a big move on his own and he was beginning to step out of his comfort zone. I decided to allow him to make the move, he flew home for a week, packed up and moved out there. I keep in touch with him all the time. He is graduating this June, has gone off his meds, passing all of his classes, got his drivers license and works part time sometimes with his Dad. It sounds like he's doing very well and I'm so proud of him, but I can't help remember how it was when he was here. I might add, his sister, whom we adopted at a very young age, was diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder, and it created a lot of stress for him, another reason I felt he would do better in another environment. Anyway, I'm still struggling, though he's doing so well, how do I know he'll do well on his own. He's thinking of moving on to college, at least a community college, away form his Dad's home. I know this is a big step, and I am so very proud of him, again I can't help remembering what he has struggled with and I need to know how to let that go. I know as parents this is what we all struggle with, but with the AS, I'm having a difficult time and I am still a worried parent.

(((((((che170))))))))))))))))) know first of all you have done well. For them to grow up and be able to function on thier own is such a blessing. Yes i know its hard and of course you are going to worry. You know why because you have guided him all his life. As we all do as parents. But with AS or as my sone has PDD i think the watching of struggles all thier life makes it a little more. well ok alot more lol
My son was suppose to go to college now changed his mind to the marines. yes I am haivng a hard time with that,
The college I prayed would happen.
Your not being selfish you are being a Mom
give him his wings if you can. Tell him you are always here for him and that you love him. And that you are so very proud of him.
Then i will hand you some kleenex
good luck and you are blessed with what sounds like a very good son

[che170]

Thanks so much Muffy, and yes he is a very good son. It's nice to know there are others out there that understand what I'm feeling at the moment. But you're right, the only thing we can do as a parent is to let go.

trust me I know how very hard that is (((((((((((che)))))))))))))))
its so very hard with all we have been threw with them
take care of you and your son.