AvpD & Chat

Yesterday I logged into the chatroom of this website (support room). The things I said in the room must have been very depressing because within a matter of minutes, another room was created and everyone left for the newly created room... Except for one person.

I took it very badly. In short, it's one of the worst things that can happen when speaking out in a chatroom for me.

I'm avoiding the chatroom now and I've asked DocJohn to remove my user.

sorry to hear that...

I am sorry that happened. I understand.

I'm sorry that happened, and sorry too that you've left pc.
Sending gentle hugs

I'm so sorry that happened to you.

oh I am deeply sorry that happened to you. I would not have left, by the way. I am sorry it caused you to change your name. But honestly, I can understand. Something happened to me today that caused me to close down my public and private messages here just to try to feel safe enough to stay here. It is hard being avoidant. So hard. I am even scared to post at pc.

There are so many times I want to post..but I'm worried I'll sound stupid so I delete was I was going to post. I hate being like this. I was an outgoing teenager with lots of friends. Now I always worry about what I'm saying/how I'm saying it, and i feel like a spaz all the time and I don't fit in. I feel bad that happened to you...it would affect me too.

shyviolet, I do not know why it took so long for me to see what you wrote. I know all too well what its like to write and delete and write and delete. I do it often because I am so afraid that what I have to say is inappropriate or wrong or bad. So I go through layers of filters to try to keep myself safe while posting. I hope you will post more often shyviolet. I know its hard though. I do not think you sound "like a spaz" But I surely do know the feeling. I feel it too. Its hard for me also to feel like I fit in anywhere. Being Avpd, to me is so excruciatingly painful. But you are not alone. I relate to what you say. <3

(((((((((((((((hugs hugs hugs)))))))))))

i am sometimes irritable and snappish,, i don't like to sit and listen to things that bring me down... but it's the support room, and if i can't be supportive, then it's on me to just leave~ right ? it's not about YOU,,,

Well.....just peachy...wish you'd come back hun!

That kind of happened to me recently too. Except I was trying to chat and it seemed like the 3-4 people in the chat room were intimate and I was messing up their evening.
I wanted to go and chat, talk, be apart of a conversation. It was my first try at reaching out in the chat world. I was so anxious and scared when I started posting. (And my greatest fears were realized.)
All I got was a bunch of banter between the other posters. Private jokes between them poking fun at what ever I wrote.
It made me feel like a schoolgirl getting bullied again.
OH LETS PRETEND TO BE HER FRIEND SO WE CAN MAKE FUN OF HER!
I left feeling more depressed and isolated.

I am sorry that happened to you. I must say that this sort of thing is very unusual at psych central. I have been ignored before, and even seen everyone get together and leave a room I was in to go to a private room after someone else and I came in, but I have never seen people be made fun of. So I am so sorry that happened to you. It must have felt horrible. I try to engage people in conversation when I go into a room. Occassionally, I am in so much pain that I cannot engage in conversation with people. But there is no excuse for " polking fun at whatever" someone writes. I am sorry you expereinced that.

I had a better experience today. I obviously was not in the right frame of mind to be in that particular room. I am still new, it will take some getting used to.
I have lost my sense of humor, I'm wound up way too tight.
My experience was my fault, I think I end up coming off as stuck up too.
I don't mean to be like that.
Live & Learn

P.S. Hope you can come back Anonymous.

in the chatrooms,it's sometimes people who knew each other for a long time. So they have their inside jokes and stuff. It just happens. After some time you will find your circle of friends too.

Sorry to hear about your unpleasant experience, Anonymous.

I seem to have that type of experience in any chat-room that I go to. I even started going to one frequently to see if I could fit in after people got to know me a little better. Even after giving it a fair chance I never felt like I belonged there.
A lot of the people in there were regulars and were not so quick to let a new person into the conversation. At least not on a serious note. I noticed that people were doing a lot of chit-chat and when someone wanted to get serious (non-regulars), the conversation was short-lived, if it even got off the ground at all.
I have thought about trying the chat rooms here but don't have access yet. I think it is due to my newness, and lack of posts in the forums.

I hope that your experiences get better here, or wherever you might chose to go from here.