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  #1  
Old Jun 25, 2012, 11:27 PM
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bluedolphin92 bluedolphin92 is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2012
Location: Ohio
Posts: 168
Hello,

I've never been officially diagnosed with avoidant personality disorder. However, based on what I've read about it, I have every reason to believe that I have at least a mild case of it.

In about 2 months I'll be starting my second year of college. I didn't really make any friends last year (I sort of did I guess...but it's kind of a long story.) I'd like to start making some real connections with people next year, but I don't know how. Unless someone approaches me first, I have very little chance of ever talking to them, and even then, I always feel really awkward in conversations. Any advice?
Hugs from:
Anonymous33000, CryingOverOnions

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  #2  
Old Jun 26, 2012, 03:24 AM
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SeekingZen SeekingZen is offline
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Member Since: May 2012
Location: NC
Posts: 237
Hi Bluedolphin,

I wish I had some advice to offer. I am in the same boat though...

I just wanted to wish you good luck!

Avoidant personality disorder and making new friends
  #3  
Old Jun 26, 2012, 04:13 AM
Zenster Zenster is offline
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Member Since: Feb 2012
Posts: 39
Hi Blue Dolphin

I'm naturally shy so I can relate. Maybe try to set small goals for yourself - like smiling, saying hi, or saying one thing (something about school even). Most people like to talk so being a good listener is a great skill.

Good luck!
  #4  
Old Jun 26, 2012, 06:42 PM
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bluedolphin92 bluedolphin92 is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2012
Location: Ohio
Posts: 168
Thanks to both of you.

Even if you can't give any advice it's just nice to get some encouraging words and know there are others out there with the same kind of problems
  #5  
Old Jun 27, 2012, 09:00 AM
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Snap66 Snap66 is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2011
Location: 1000 miles from nowhere.
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Hi bd92.

I always try to find the person I'm most common with (no, not the avie part) but the person I find interesting, so I can enjoy their company.

Welcome
Snap
  #6  
Old Jul 11, 2012, 08:43 PM
Anonymous33000
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I was never diagnosed myself, but I can relate totally. Do what your heart feels - play music for people, get involved in art... things you don't have to talk much at first to get noticed. I've done these things and made some awesome friends. I hope that helps a little bit - I know it's not the greatest advice, but I wish you luck in everything you do.
  #7  
Old Jul 12, 2012, 11:34 AM
CryingOverOnions CryingOverOnions is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2012
Location: Massapequa Park/Queens Village
Posts: 2
I feel the same way. It's especially tough now that I'm in high school. I remember my first day, searching for a lunch table. I felt an almost overwhelming sense of dread! It's a relief to know that others have similar issues.
  #8  
Old Aug 23, 2012, 11:33 AM
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two sons two sons is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2012
Location: Rural Kansas
Posts: 54
Hi everyone,
It's hard for me to get started here, and I'm really afraid of saying the wrong thing or sounding stupid.
Hugs from:
Nicks_Nose, VoNPD
Thanks for this!
Nicks_Nose
  #9  
Old Sep 12, 2012, 10:58 AM
bertieb bertieb is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2011
Posts: 43
I suffered for years with this and shyness. It's taken 3/4 of my lifespan to feel like I'm worth talking to and being noticed. Because I'm pretty enough everyone assumed I was stuck up, not insecure and withdrawn. Anyway, from watching popular friends walk into new situations I've learned how to act. When you are at the grocery or wherever, ask the checkout person "How you doing today?" Just make yourself say it. The guy behind you....say "There went 2 gallons of gas money..." just anything. When you get used to this little chatter it starts coming out of your mouth all the time and people do respond most of the time! If they don't, someone else near you might or somebody will smile at you. Whether you care about talking to them or not make yourself get used to doing it. If you are in a meeting ask somebody the time. Make eye contact walking to class with people and say hi if they look back at you. Role play you are the one everybody wants to talk too. Find something that works and think confidence. I never could put my two cents in during classes and still probably can't but that's ok. I don't set myself up to be ridiculed by giving a weird comment in class, but I can tell the person next to me I like their boots and that makes us both feel better and is a contact. So, that's my beginning advice! Don't give up. I've come a long, long way!
Hugs from:
Onward2wards
Thanks for this!
Onward2wards, Zenster
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