[ppmc]

Hi
I have suffering from this ever since (I'm in the forties now) but only recently I learnt I have AvPD. I struggle with things that are very simple for other people and it makes me feel ashamed and even more worthless (if this can be possible), I try many times to do things in spite of all that but my need of running away is usually stronger than me. I always have felt guilty for having these difficulties. Discovering I have a mental disorder made me feel a bit less odd at the beginning but after... I don't know... And I'm not sure if there are things I am not being able to do because they are difficult for me or it's my fault. I don't know if I have difficulties because I have AvPD or if I'm labelled with the AvPD because I behave in that way when I should do it in another (Don't know if this makes too much sense). I feel guilty but why I make nothing if it's my fault?
At present I feel very frustrated and guilty and lost.
Do you also feel guilty with this?

[Lamplighter]

Hello ppmc welcome here .

I'm sorry you're not even able to accept having a dx without experiencing it as potentially all your fault. I do feel similarly though, it's nice to have a formal dx, a model of what's wrong, but as you said, it only feels ok up to a point.

Can I ask whether you are seeing a therapist? I suspect that AvPD is not one of those things that it's very easy to deal with in isolation/alone and having a T can be really helpful.

As for guilt, well yeah, I'm guilt on legs. I'm not sure I feel guilty about the dx's I have though, so much as just plain guilty for being me. It wouldn't matter what label I had, the simple fact of its being me is enough to be bad and wrong .

Torn

[ppmc]

Thank you Torn for your reply

Yes I'm seeing a therapist and it's helpful.

Originally Posted by Torn Mind

I'm not sure I feel guilty about the dx's I have though, so much as just plain guilty for being me. It wouldn't matter what label I had, the simple fact of its being me is enough to be bad and wrong .

I can also relate to this feeling of being me is bad and wrong, and I'm sorry you have those feelings too. It's hard feel in this way.

ppmc