[LaSol]

I sometimes think: why would anyone want to be my friend? I am very quiet, afraid and crying for whatever reason ...
for now, I am seeking the courage to approach people to befriend. When I remember some people looking at me with the look of one who says you're weird, I feel that maybe other people look at me like that and so I avoid looking them in the eye.
but you see, how can I make friends if not look people in the eye? I thought I'd explain to them that I have APD, but do not know if I would feel comfortable to establish a friendship with the person. I do not want to talk to me for pity nor want the person to leave me because of the APD also.

[manwithnofriends]

There is a "cure" for personality disorders and it's called "therapy", which is so hard to find nowadays. Of course there are many online resources and books that could help you overcome... but sometimes the fear is so overwhelming that you need a real therapist to help you. That's all I can say for now.

[LaSol]

thank you. I do therapy.I'm still in the first month.

[Hoasis]

Originally Posted by manwithnofriends

There is a "cure" for personality disorders and it's called "therapy", which is so hard to find nowadays. Of course there are many online resources and books that could help you overcome... but sometimes the fear is so overwhelming that you need a real therapist to help you. That's all I can say for now.

What exactly do you mean "cure"? Personality disorders are a part of your personality, so its no "cure" for it, maybe if you can get help you can easier understand, accept and live with it. Unfortunately its nothing you can do with either medicine or therapy to be cured...its tough but its reality

[manwithnofriends]

Originally Posted by Hoasis

What exactly do you mean "cure"? Personality disorders are a part of your personality, so its no "cure" for it, maybe if you can get help you can easier understand, accept and live with it. Unfortunately its nothing you can do with either medicine or therapy to be cured...its tough but its reality

Then why do we even bother calling them "disorders" in the first place? Is it because people think it's unacceptable to be angry or sad more often than usual?

[Hoasis]

Originally Posted by manwithnofriends

Then why do we even bother calling them "disorders" in the first place? Is it because people think it's unacceptable to be angry or sad more often than usual?

"Personality disorders are conditions in which an individual differs significantly from an average person, in terms of how they think, perceive, feel or relate to others" It is professionally called a "disorder" because it differs from the "average" person in how we think and perceive reality. Its nothing psychologically wrong with it, just that the personality differs from average Joe, thats why its called a disorder

[A Red Panda]

LaSol - sometimes it can be hard to make new friends because other shy people who want the same thing as you? Well, they're too shy to say anything! And a lot of people tend to assume that no one wants to be friends with them, or thinks that everyone they meet is happy with the group of friends that they already have. It can be tough!

(Personally, I understand shyness as I was veeeeerrry shy when I was younger but I've learned how to work around it and I actually act quite extroverted.... so when I'm at a social event and I notice that there's someone who isn't really talking to anyone? I usually go and introduce myself. I don't mind mostly carrying a conversation on my own if they seem to enjoy it - usually I'll find on a topic that interests them and help them open up a bit!)

Have you ever gone to any sort of club thingy? That is a way where you can meet people... but it might take a while for those to develop into proper friendships, but it at least gives a reason to interact and talk with that person on a somewhat regular basis! Same with volunteering.

[so new]

I rehearse conversations so much and they never go according to plan. My mind is non-stop on this. No advice from me.

I can also tell someone wants to be friends but I don't want them. Sorry, I know beggers can't be choosers but get lost.

I like your statement "I really do want to make friends", sometimes I go into denial and think I don't need them and I'm somehow superior to others.
Another thing that happens is that when I get a close friend or feel close to my spouse, I want someone else. It maybe I want to impress the person or get some social padding .

Anyone ever take a break and not pressure themselves to be anything different than what they are. Sometimes I do. It is hard to get and stay in this frame of mind.

Hey, I'm feeling kinda of a inner hope on this site. thanks