I have to have a roommate.

So, I choose the college I'm going to, only to find out that freshmen are not allowed to have single dorm rooms, which personally, I think is just idiotic.

I just wanted this one thing. But nope. I'm a secretive person and I'm gonna have a person pervading my space all the time, not to mention they're definitely not going to like me, and it's going to be very awkward. I don't know how I'm going to make it through the year. I really don't. I can't even imagine.

I felt the same way for 3 yrs while in college. I hated the idea of meeting someone new that I didn't know but luckily I had great roommates. Having roommates was a cheaper so I didn't have a choice. I think you'll make it through the year. Keep us updated and good luck.

All right, I will. And thanks.

i was the same way. luckily, i was in the honors program which allowed me to get a dorm where it was four girls to a suite but we each had our own room with a little common area. so i was able to have my privacy. i'd go into my room and close the door and they would leave me alone. they talked about me behind my back, but they didn't understand where i was coming from so it didn't matter.

if the college you are going to has that option, and if you qualify, then go for that. otherwise, the best thing to do is...if you know someone going to the college who needs a room, team up and get to know each other better. if you don't know someone that you can rope into it, and you already have a roommate assigned, talk to them and get to know them, maybe hang out before school starts. a lot of people become good friends with their college roomies.

and if that's completely out of the question, stay out of your room except to sleep at night. always clean up after yourself. make the room look like only your roommate stays there. this is mostly what i did, until i was finally able to talk to the girls in my suite.

good luck. i know how nerve-racking this sort of thing is.

I, too, experienced this. I feel like the most important thing is to establish rules right away, if only for the sake of privacy and the respect of each other's space, especially since dorms are usually small.

As the above poster said, always keep things clean. Don't give them any reason to get on your case for stuff lyin' around and all of that. Chances are that even if you don't get along as friends, you still won't turn out to be enemies. Be honest and let them know that you have reservations socially at the very least, and that should make things easier, so they don't think any of your behavior is personally directed at them, or that you're giving them the cold shoulder or something like that.

My roomates and I were all strangers to each other with very different backgrounds, but by setting respectful rules beforehand and getting in any pet peeves or quirks about ourselves (ie "i hate towels on the floor!" haha) out on the table, living was good. Mutual respect is just really important.

I ended up becoming really good friends with one of them...who is totally the opposite and very social, etc! The other...well...she literally had depression, OCD, ADHD, shopping addiction (spoilllled!!! Daddy put college on his credit card, and everything else she wanted), liked to add massive amounts of alcohol and some drugs to this mix...and never took her meds. She was famous for basically being out of control in our building. People would say to us, "Wait...You guys are roomates with Michelle? ...Omg. I'm so sorry." Or "...How is that?" Luckily, that's what campus security and housing management is for! Obviously, this is probably one of THE most extreme situations.

But, again, even with this craziness, respect won out - after my friendly roomate and I made it starkly clear that we were fed up with Michelle and with her full knowledge reported her to student housing, she was remorseful for the rest of the year and just neutrally left us alone. Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries - and stickin' to 'em. We didn't let her behavior just slide.

Also, most colleges offer some mental health counseling for at least a few sessions, or just regular student counselors that are happy to talk with you and listen to you vent or get you some help or tools if you ever need or are just feeling uncomfortable or stressed. So even just for the first few weeks, maybe when you get there you could set something like that up, just so you know you have some support.

right, i meant to come back by and post that most colleges have counseling centers. it should be included in school fees so it would be free for a student. i attended counseling the entire time i was in college for depression and stress management. it helped a lot.

I did this for a year and now I'm not sure why...there were apartments that were actually cheaper to live in by myself and even with private bedrooms it didn't make that much of a difference...we still had to share the kitchen etc. which meant I to wait until one of the roommates was gone (the other one was ok) and frequently spent time "cooking" with her annoying friends and just all this other stuff at night...it's just...no.

Will they let you live off campus? There's got to be cheaper housing somewhere where you can live alone...no one should be forced to have roommates. It was the most horrible experience of all my seven years of college.

Maybe you can talk to someone at the college (I'm not sure who...maybe your advisor would know?) and see if they can make an exception for you. I pretty much had a sort of mental breakdown...started seeing things, heightened paranoia, spent nights hiding in the closet in my bathroom just so I could have two locked doors between me and the rest of the apartment.

And this was all with me going in thinking I could live with other people...if you already know that you probably won't be able to...DON'T. Don't go through what I did.

That's scary...

I don't know. It's probably too late. Cause we've already paid the fee for my dorm. And I'm kind of under the impression that if I don't live in the dorms then I'm never going to make friends. Guys, I'm freaking out over this. Let's just hope my roommate's nice and respectful of space and maybe it'll be okay. But I'm so nervous.

You'll be alright. Your experience will be your own - your future roommate is freaking out right now too. Even the most social people I met (including my roomie that I am still friends with) expressed extreme self-doubt and apprehension when asked about how they felt before...maybe for different reasons, but no one goes in without their concerns.

Does your school have an orientation? We had a week long orientation (no classes, just touring opportunities, sporting event bus trip, cruise trip, interesting lectures, etc.) and taking one of those opportunities to get to hang out with your new roommate and experience the un-experienced together can be really helpful. That's how my room mate and I became friends, almost instantaneously... We went to a party 'cause we figured we should, being our first week at college and all...and after a while, we left our other roommate (who was having a great time) because we were bored to death and disliked there was nothing but crappy beer to choose from and bad music You never know who will end up a friend, even if you're complete opposites. Just try and make the best effort you can, rather than thinking "I am just going to hate this," or something, and remember there is no way of knowing. You might be surprised. It's college! No other way in but to jump, so might as well enjoy the view.

I lived in the dorms for two years and had room mates. I did not get along with my first one my freshman year because she had money and was pledging sororities and wanted to make out with her BF in our room. After several months we did room swapping and I got a different room mate who was more like me and she and I became good friends with her.