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Member
Member Since Feb 2014
Location: No Where
Posts: 297
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Feb 27, 2014 at 04:48 PM
#1
I was recently diagnosed AVPD. I was speaking to my therapist about one day wanting to feel comfortable in social situations, or any situations outside my house for that matter.
My therapist said that I may never feel comfortable around people and that was very disappointing to hear. Is there really no hope? Will I ever be normal? Am I ruined forever? __________________ “I'm so good at beginnings, but in the end I always seem to destroy everything, including myself.” “I told her once I wasn’t good at anything. She told me survival is a talent.” Last edited by ImNotHere; Feb 27, 2014 at 07:37 PM.. |
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 Anonymous24680
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Grand Magnate
Member Since May 2013
Location: Gallifrey
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Feb 27, 2014 at 06:42 PM
#2
No one is hopeless. You aren't ruined, and no one's really normal at all.
Maybe you'll never feel 100% comfortable, but you can certainly become MORE comfortable than you are now! I'm boatloads more comfortable in lots of situations than I used to be. I taught myself how to talk and act in a way that feels relatively true to me, and I exposed myself to a lot of situations that make me really uncomfortable. Over time, and after throwing myself into things that I decided I wanted to be able to do... I can do them. And some of them still make me feel really awkward, but others I barely notice the anxiety unless something goes a bit off. People even typically think I'm an extravert and very confident, which is a joke to me. I'm that way because I learned to, and it's not really representative of what I think and feel... but hey, I'll take it. I can function and can often enjoy myself to at least some level! So I am sure that you can too. It just takes a lot of time and effort, and accepting that it just might never be easy. __________________ "The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things. Of shoes, of ships, of sealing wax, of cabbages, of kings! Of why the sea is boiling hot, of whether pigs have wings..." "I have a problem with low self-esteem. Which is really ridiculous when you consider how amazing I am. |
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| Anonymous24680
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 bronzeowl
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Member
Member Since May 2013
Location: Denmark
Posts: 78
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Mar 23, 2014 at 11:22 AM
#3
Of course you can get better! Personality disorders are about the way we think and perceive, and with the proper therapy we can change those ways, or at least improve on them. What a hopeless therapist you have.
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Member
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: Scandinavia
Posts: 86
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Mar 23, 2014 at 11:42 AM
#4
Quote:
I have never heard of anyone with a personality disorder suddenly being 100 % "normal" after any treatment. |
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Veteran Member
Member Since Apr 2003
Location: Central Florida, USA
Posts: 550
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Jun 06, 2014 at 08:25 PM
#5
According to Relationship Therapy, the avoidance problem runs deep and goes way back. By having a relationship with the therapist, you address those deep, hurt feelings caused by relationship failures with parents or early caregivers. Out of the therapy relationship the feelings are healed to the core. It's a lot more than just learning how to act, or just going out and practicing at being sociable. With the deep healing, your feelings change and caring for others flows naturally from that.
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Thimble
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Jun 07, 2014 at 03:11 AM
#6
I agree with Hoasis. I think in the case of insecure attachment and/or a personality disorder therapy can help you keep your head above water, but you'll always be floating in a deep ocean while people who are securely attached and without a PD will be standing on dry land. It rains on them, but rain stops. We will always be out at sea. Therapy or meds is more like someone throwing you a life-preserver than actually making it to dry land.
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,377
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Jun 07, 2014 at 01:03 PM
#7
Your therapist was wrong. It happens... They are human and do not possess a crystal ball
 Sorry to hear you crossed paths with a dud therapist. 
__________________ 
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