Working with AVPD?

I would like to build myself up to the point where I will be able to work. The problem I am having is, I fear people, crowds, criticism, and in general just leaving the house on my own..

I was actively looking in the past, and got interviews, but would never get the job because some habits I have when anxious (Leg shaking, cannot make eye contact, nail biting ect.)

The jobs I have had in the past (after High school I managed to get work twice) never held for longer than a month, and always ended in a pretty bad (and embarrassing) anxiety attack.. after which I would be to ashamed to return.

I am tired of having my boyfriend be the only one working! I don't like feeling useless.

I can't avoid this forever, but trying to force myself out there seems to just make me more and more miserable!

Anyone have suggestions?

Do you have any qualifications? There's a lot of jobs that have minimal interpersonal contact. Do you live in a city or out near the country?

I don't really have any good job experience, i worked at burger king for four weeks, and thats about all I got. I like in I guess what you would call the suburbs, but have easy access to the city from where I live, but the crowds keep me away from traveling there.

I like in what I guess you would call the Suburbs, but with easy access to the city from where I live. I don't have any qualifications, I've been struggling a lot just with leaving the house on my own, so job searching has become nearly impossible.

Try to get a job stocking a grocery store at night or working in a warehouse or something. There are isolated jobs like that, but probably mostly third shift I guess... but that way you can sleep all day and be awake at night when things are peaceful.

I was talking more about your education - do you have any college or university? If you don't, you could try to find something at a college or university to do... and look up distance/online courses so that you can minimize the time you would need to be on campus.

You could try and do some form of environmental work in a park. A lot of factories require minimal conversation although you would have a lot of people near you. You could get some form of computer science degree and try to find a job that would allow you to work from home. You could try and get into a trade like plumbing, where you'd interact with people but really not all that much. You could get a job at waste management and be a garbage truck driver, where you'd only have one person. Maybe a job at the postal service if you could be out delivering?

What are your interests in life? That is a good spot to start when trying to figure out what you would be able to do. The more you like the job itself, the easier it will be to tolerate and get used to any interactions with people.

OK, I have a few thoughts.

Although I'm not a believer that meds are the answer, in some cases, they can be helpful. I have a prescription for Klonopin that I only use for situations that really maximize my social anxiety. For example, if I have to do a presentation to a small or large group, if I have to be in a meeting with supervisors, if I have to do an interview, etc. I would speak to your doctor or psychiatrist about this. It helps.

Another thought, if you are conscious of your leg shaking, lack of eye contact, etc., can you not control them to some extent? Plant your feet flat on the floor, deliberately make eye contact although its uncomfortable? I am aware that I avoid eye contact, so I make a conscious effort to do it, even though it feels scary. Also, do you know for a fact that is why you didn't get the job? You may just be assuming that.

Another thought, you can take some online classes to get some skills. Many employers need people with specialized skills... like computer programmers (who also don't interact much with people).

Another thought, start with baby steps. If you don't like leaving the house, set a small goal such as going to Walmart and saying hi to the greeter. Or walking down the driveway or street. Then set another small goal. You don't need to leave your comfort zone in leaps and bounds. Do something manageable but still somewhat uneasy. Take baby steps till you get more comfortable.

Also, I go through terrible blushing episodes when I first start a job, usually with authority figures but often with others. They will last for about 3 months. I feel embarrassed like you, and it is difficult to face people and go through this day after day. However, I have come to realize several things. People are way more understanding then we give them credit for. I have comfortable and even friendly relationships now with coworkers who I blushed and choked with initially. If they thought I was a weirdo when it happened, they didn't keep that mindset forever. Also, having started several new jobs in my life, I have realized the blushing episodes EVENTUALLY do go away. Not as fast as I would like, but they do. If you talk to someone 200 times, you eventually get comfortable, as you probably are with your boyfriend. Don't get me wrong, I hate the anxiety and blushing, but it does reduce in time. IF you keep going despite your feelings of self hatred.

By the way, I am what most people would consider successful... I am a director and make good money. My point being - it IS possible to work with this condition and even do well. But start with baby steps

Wow, 3xjj, thank you for giving me hope! I've been reading posts in this section and seeing that I fit here. I'm 49 and was beginning to think there wasn't any hope for me. What kind of help worked best for you? I have been taking meds (currently Effexor) for depression forever, but have never come across any therapy that I felt did me any good, so had given up on therapy, tired of it. I am at a mid-life crisis point in my life where I can't stand the idea that the rest of my life will be as unhappy as the first part.