[sociallyDisabled]

Hello to the community. I honestly seek your help.

Recently I've got the feeling that strangers stare at me much more than usual. After this observation, I feel uncomfortable in social settings to the point I avoid getting out of the house.

Most of the random people I see on street when our cross immediately do some nose touching gesture. Please search google images "nose rub" since I cannot provide links, but it involves a finger to the nose or two fingers to the nose and a pinch or rub. I think this is a negative first impression triggered by something in my appearance or (most probably) my behavior.

To provide you with some facts, I lost 5 kgs (11 libs) due to extremely stressful lifestyle and my skin became a bit pale. My eyes are usually tired with dark circles. Apart from this I am average looking male, towards cute. No muscles, no fat, a bit skinny face. This stressful period just ended so I just found time to write about this.

Is this me paying too much attention and making up stories?
Is it possible that my appearance / movement seem weird and trigger this?

One thing is for sure, I cannot enjoy doing normal things such a walk in the park on a sunny day

[A Red Panda]

You are definitely paying too much attention and imagining things

But that's alright. A lot of us do that. I definitely do, although a lot less now than I used to. (Mostly shows up when I'm doing something like eating at a restaurant on my own or if I am dressed in a way that doesn't quite fit whatever city or town I'm in).

People are way too focused on their own lives to really pay attention or care about random strangers they see walking around.

Noticing the nose thing - you're hyperaware of people doing that, so you notice it. Your brain will unconsciously dismiss everyeon who doesn't do it, because you're looking to see it. it's like, if you think hard about the colour red, you'll notice all the red things around you.

We can turn the insecurity around a little bit with things like this - why on earth would anyone be so incredibly interested in us as to care what we look like? We're just random strangers, and they are random strangers. They're going about their day, just like you try to go about yours!



I hope things will get easier for you, it's so frustrating when we feel like we can't do the things we want to because we have tooooo much anxiety!

[3xjj]

I agree with Red Panda.

[AzulOscuro]

I also agree with Red Panda. It's all about our low self-steem. One part of the self-steem is self-acceptance. You don't like your self-image so you are projecting your own insecurities in others.
First of all it's to try to enlarge acceptance. Ok, perhaps you don't like some things in you, try to change what you can to give a health image in front of people, but I'm sure you are overreacting. See your good side as well.
Perhaps, you lost some kilogrammes but now, you look fine with any kind of clothes. Perhaps you have black shades around your eyes, but your sight can be fulled of sincerity.

I hope you can work in your self-steem. I used to be worried and anxious around any people but in my last therapy I learnt how to focuss in the task I was doing and try to care less about others.

[Firecrystal]

Sorry I'm not going to be much help but I always feel stared at. Once I passed a group of people that were standing in the pavment looking around. I understood they were visitors. I walked pased them on the other side of the road, and as far as I know, there wasn't any noises and nobody else but me and that group. I felt the urge tolook back at these people and they were all looking at me, then they suddenly looked away. I often get stared at by people in the streets. I can even feel if someone is staring because it's like a poking sensation. They always turn away. What are they looking at?

[Teepee]

I just had this conversation with my T it was getting to the point where I wouldn't even make phone calls as I felt judged and deemed "unacceptable" or "unworthy" of others time and even glances in the street. I really despise how AVPD seems to control my life, but I have a challenge everyday to go into the world look a stranger in the eyes and smile........then run and fall into a heap

[AzulOscuro]

Originally Posted by Teepee

I just had this conversation with my T it was getting to the point where I wouldn't even make phone calls as I felt judged and deemed "unacceptable" or "unworthy" of others time and even glances in the street. I really despise how AVPD seems to control my life, but I have a challenge everyday to go into the world look a stranger in the eyes and smile........then run and fall into a heap

So you are doing social progressive exposure therapy.
It's fine. This was one of my steps. The first one was greeting dogs in street a and parks. I own two doggies now. Lol!