Diagnosis - I don't have AvPD

I always thought I have AvPD. Today I asked my therapist about what's her diagnosis. She told me I don't have any Personality Disorder. She just said I have "Anxious Depressive Reaction" ... this was translated from another language, I don't know what is the English term. She said that having a Personality Disorder would be a much more worse.

So, you are going to quit the forum? I hope you aren't but I'm happy that you don't have a personality disorder.

So your main problem is the anxiety. I told you that the best is doing a progressive exposure therapy but your therapist is the one who knows what's the best for you and you, of course.

Hey, but you are neither a normie! you are another nut as us.

Well, there you go. That's awesome!

I know when you have an identity it's really hard to give that up. The label can be a comfort. But it can also be a burden - don't forget that part of it.

Still, your world is probably rocked. Expect it to be bad for a little while, and that is okay. Expect to mourn the loss of the label, and take care of yourself while you do it. Don't judge yourself for however you feel.

However, you haven't changed. Remember that. You're exactly the same person you were before, whether you have the label or not.

The thing is, you have more paths now. You don't have to run down then all at once. But when you're ready, you can. There won't be a massive brick wall blocking your way.

Personally, I am thrilled you had the guts to look into it! I think everyone who was diagnosed more than 5 years ago should go through it again, because the criteria has changed, and again, not that you'll be a different person, but your gates will unlock, and you'll have more opportunities if you don't insist to yourself that you're stuck.

It's so great, you have no idea. Or maybe you do, just a little bit, under all the shock of it.

Keep talking. It will be a process. Having the avoidant label is like having a security blanket. You don't have to try anything new because you "can't" and if you fail it's not your fault.

The funny thing is? Every avoidant person I've ever known is constantly trying to figure out a better way, even knowing it's basically a losing battle. They don't rest on their laurels, using it as an excuse.

But mourn. Give yourself a break about it. Take care of yourself. Don't think you're going to run out into the world and be a different person now.

Be proud of yourself for being brave. Double brave - to tell people about it here is courting rejection. Pay attention to how little rejection you're going to get! People are going to be darned impressed by you, not say "you're not one of us now.''

I'm thinking you are going to be real popular too. Because there's nothing like having someone in your life who doesn't have a PD but understands avoidance.

But keep posting. Talk about how you're feeling. Don't bottle it up. I'm sure it was a big shock, and the future seems scary, but you've just opened up your whole world. So awesome!

Yep, this is what happens when folks self diagnose.

Congratulations on your diagnoses Orvel

No, I am not going to quit the forum I'm just probably going to post in another subforum.

Thank you... I was relieved and happy when she told me that I am not a difficult case.

I've read again what AvPD means, it still kinda seems like it is true, but I guess that description is not enough and I don't know enough about it

Thank you.

This is what I was afraid of, you posting in another place, but I understand. I will go on reading you, anyway.

Well, I agree with CK2d, you were really brave by asking the therapist for the diagnosis. You see, I see you again as Braveheart!

I will still visit from time to time and maybe even comment. I need to find me a new subforum now.

Thank you. I hope you get over this as best as you can

Tell us where you go. Hey I don't like loosing people.

I am probably going to post in anxiety-panic-phobias, psychotherapy, coping-emotions or some other subforum. Depends on what I want to post.

Edit: since there really isn't a general anxiety subforum

Cool!
I also usually read coping with emotions forum.

How are you doing today?
Bit wobbly, I'd imagine.

You know, you don't have to completely cut off your past.
Tons and tons of people post in the avoidant forum who aren't.
Like I said, you didn't change at all, you just changed your label.
You don't have to make a clean break of it.

But it's your choice, of course, and I know it can be addictive to hang on to a diagnosis.
You might be tempted to go back and demand that your therapist go along with what you've said in order to maintain the status quo.
That is not unheard of - to insist on a diagnosis just so you can think you were right.
It's a strong person who resists that temptation.
So, like an alcoholic avoiding bars, if you need to avoid this forum, I totally understand that.

Good luck to you!

I am not addicted to it

Sticking around here wouldn't really be fair to people.

My T doesn't even want to hear the term anymore! Even though I seem to fit the DSM perfectly, I don't even care anymore if I am or I ain't...I'm trying to focus more on my daily actions and the results of those actions...and then see where my moods/thoughts go from there.

It could be that your therapist doesn't want to hear it because it covers so many aspects. You can't take on all of them at once. You have to break them down.

Instead, talk about the avoidant trait that's bothering you that week. Perhaps it's a problem with work, that you want a better job. Or you are having an issue with anticipating rejection or abandonment. Or maybe your self esteem is really bothering you.

Talk about the small piece of avoidance that is bothering you. Throwing out the label is a way to hide, because it's too big to tackle, so you don't actually have to do any work on making progress.