[BreakForTheLight]

Especially to people you don't know very well.

I'm an honest person, I don't like lies, but I'm also terrified of people judging me or not fitting in... Those two things don't always go together very well when you're meeting people for the first time and they're trying to get to know you!

I remember when I was talking to a colleague I hadn't known for very long at that time. I guess we were talking about friendship because at one point she commented. "Surely you must have some friends. Everyone has friends!" Nope, I really don't...... But her comment made me really scared that if I said that, she would think I'm weird.

And then there's the even more tricky situation of job interviews. Most companies want someone confident, social, who will fit into the team. That's just not me, I'm usually the outsider. But that doesn't mean that work-wise, I can't be a valuable asset to a team!
In my last interview they asked me "How do you integrate into a team?" and that made me panick for a moment. The truth is I don't, but that wouldn't score me any positive points! Luckily for me they expanded the question and also asked how I did that in my previous job - that was the one time I actually did feel like I fit in (at least in the beginning) so I could answer how that went. But I think from my answer it still became obvious that I'm not really the social type.

[ck2d]

It depends on who I'm dealing with. If I'm paying the person - like a doctor or whatever - I tell them right off the bat. Otherwise, I don't tell anyone anything.

The situation you described with your colleague - I would never get that close to someone. I've heard it said about me on more than one occasion, "still water runs deep." I simply never discuss my personal life.

Job interviews - first of all, are horrible. I don't lie, but I will shift the question if I need to. The question you were asked, about integrating into a team, I would say that I tend not to take a leadership role, but that I always pull my weight, and I jump in to help my teammates whenever they ask for help, and that the project is more important to me than being recognized for my individual contributions to it. Which is a nice way to say I would be a good worker bee.

[Orvel]

Originally Posted by BreakForTheLight

I'm an honest person, I don't like lies, but I'm also terrified of people judging me or not fitting in... Those two things don't always go together very well when you're meeting people for the first time and they're trying to get to know you!

This is also me. I would just feel bad about lying.

Of course I never tell anyone about AvPD (since I became aware of it) and probably never will. Except a friend or two. Even if I tried telling someone, they wouldn't know what that means and how serious it is. Most would probably just tell me "I don't understand what the problem is. Just go talk to people. Nothing bad is going to happen" ... yeaa this is not based on logic, but they probably wont understand, wont care or just think I am being dramatic.

Some people who met me were bit confused about why I act this way. The ones that got closer to me just remembered that I was quiet in the beginning.

[normalcy_inverted]

I hate when they follow up with the 'can you give me an example?' question. 'Can you give me an example of a time when you were working in a group or team and you had a hard time agreeing on how to tackle a problem. How did you handle the situation?'. Kills me.

[AzulOscuro]

I used to hide my problems everybody. It was a shame for me to show up people that I was so different. I neither wanted my parents were worried for me.
Now, I accept myself and if I have to tell someone something about my condition I don't feel as if I were loosing something of me anymore.
Nontheless, I only talk about it when there is a good reason behind it and like, CK2d says, depending on the person.

Of course, I never say I have AvPD. It would tell me a long time explain what it is and in the most of cases, it would be in vain. I say I have social phobia, anxiety or depression.

[AzulOscuro]

Originally Posted by normalcy_inverted

I hate when they follow up with the 'can you give me an example?' question. 'Can you give me an example of a time when you were working in a group or team and you had a hard time agreeing on how to tackle a problem. How did you handle the situation?'. Kills me.

I hope someone replies your question. I still don't know how to work in a group. Sad but true.