avoidant traits

Yes, I'm stealing this idea from another thread.

Of course there are official diagnosis guidelines, but what do you think of when you imagine a "typical" avie?

I think of a person who is lonely but honest and trustworthy, and who limits oneself for fear of being judged, who can only feel free of judgement when alone or with someone who has proven their acceptance, and even then it's uncertain.

(That sentence looks ungrammatical and I want to scrap this whole thread because of it but I'm going to leave it because I think it's a good topic. )

I think it's also common for avies to be black and white thinkers, who use absolutes to determine safety.

Thoughts?

When you don't want to be alone, but it's you're natural progression.

When you look forward to being alone, then wish someone was there with you.. and should they be, you're unable to be in the same room as them.

That constant stuggle of "I want to go to this, but I can't go to this! If I don't go people will be offended that I didn't go, but if I go they'll be really annoyed that I'm there!"

And if you go, do you speak to anyone? Will someone come talk to you? Is that what you want, or do you want to be ignored? What will they think of you? Will you waste every second, instead of enjoying yourself, worrying about the people around you?

So right on the money.

If these are traits for this disorder, then now I'm even more certain I have it. I can relate to pretty much everything here. o:
reading this sentence again and it sounds strange to me :/

I can't think of anything to add to this. ^^'

Usually, "I would be up for anything and try anything....as long as I can do it by myself and there aren't other people around looking at me and judging me"

Me too!

Such a struggle when it's the sort of thing that requires two+ people!!

I tend to then intentionally not even try. Or I just don't do it. And then I'm mad at myself. Especially if other people are like "Come on, just try!" because I feel like I'm totally ruining their fun!

I get frustrated because people seem to start responding to me as if I just need encouragement because I'm a fragile little thing when really I'd be just fine if they weren't there.

Maybe a part of me has too much pride but I start feeling annoyed when people that can barely do a thing without an audience or companion are framing me as timid, scared and unwilling to try new things.

I comfortably eat out alone, travel alone, take care of my car and finances and personal decisions alone yet if I don't want to do karaoke or go to an office party or have challenges sharing my art work I'm a wimpy wet towel, blah!

Testing can go on that list.

Very important in gauging where you fit in and peoples motives. Its done very discreetly because honestly in replies is the utmost importance.

There are many different reasons why its done, be it a response from them either by their body language or a simple comment ... or if its something i have said that has triggered my after thoughts into thinking "you idiot.
Either way its testing for acceptance and how long you have before you need to act like the phantom and vanish.