Noone will talk about us when we die

I was watching one of these docummentaries driven by Morgan Freeman. It was about the after life and suddenly this sentence comes to my mind "Noone will talk about us when we die".
Yes, I know it. I'm all chatastrophic lately. I barely can't stand to be with myself.
So, my apologizes.

I was never worried about that before. It was the last aspect I would have worried about my avoidance. I was foccus on now and here, also the past with an attempt to try to answer my questions about why.

I know about some avoidants who have children. A few ones. But, I think it's not very usual. Thinking about my limited social net and my lack of strength to enlarge it or set stronger bonds with the ones I have I don't believe I will gonna be recalled by anyone or mean the difference for anyone.

I remember one of my teachers at Secondary school told us one time. " Guys, the last thing a person can do is being unnoticed". Now, I know what she wanted to mean. She was talking about being a fighter for the things you care. But, my god, this remark hurt me so much. I told to myself "hey, I agree with it but how I can do it, being like this. It's easy to say it but I can't".
It's not all about intentions. I'm full of good intentions. I would let me die to deffend a friend. But, you can be all full of good intentions and ideas but don't dare to give a step to put them into practice.

The Skeezyks will simply fade away like the Cheshire cat until there is nothing left but his grimace...

The Skeezyks will be forever remembered in his welcoming kindness here!

But I will remember you (if that's any comfort hehe…)

Yes, I understand only too well what you're expressing. It's the despair and self loathing of not having been able to lead the life you wished you could have. Yes, society is all about planting ideas in our minds - ideas of greatness - but it falls short time and time again to mention the courage, the determination, or the will to carry on against the odds, in those who battle day in and day out with mental illness. People such as yourself.

I bet you have made many efforts on other occasions but you didn't all the time because you have AvPD. It's understandable. You're doing okay.

But, I shouldn't be so coward. Life was with me very generous. I had many help around. I can't say anything againts anyone. On the contrary, I think people around me is understanding and have lot of patience.

Sure, I understand why you feel powerless, but the definition of a personality disorder is: a deeply ingrained and maladaptive pattern of behaviour of a specified kind, typically apparent by the time of adolescence, causing long-term difficulties in personal relationships or in functioning in society.

Meaning AvPD isn't going away overnight but you can find ways to manage it. Mindfulness training can help.

I regret every day of my life

not for living (or not living), but for all the experiences/ oppotunities life has to offer, and I do none of them

I sit here and pig out on chocolate and post on here and think oh my god, why. why is my life so ****ed up

no one will talk about me when I die, I wouldn't want them to. some of the stuff they'd say about me is very disturbing (she was a low life, a couch potato, a greedy pig, a mental screw up) I don't want that

i'm even thinking of asking for no funeral

I don't want 1- who would show up anyway

Neither, do I. The single idea of forcing people to put them in a situation where they have nothing to say about.

I understand your previous post. I feel the same.

thanks for the validation.

it's apreciated

(((((hugs))))

The funeral is not for you, it is for the loved ones who survive and mourn you.

I really wish I had loved ones to begin with

but... oh well

People care about you on here. You have no IRL family and friends?

my real family abandoned me 12 years ago.

friends I have are only on here

it's sad, but this is what happens to some people, I suppose

I was touched today to see that someone on here wrote us privately and said they'd attend our funeral

shame they are all the way over in the US (i'm in england)

Hey, folks. I don't have AvPD. Diagnosed with PDNOS 6 years ago but I think I would have qualified for OCPD before that but people weren't diagnosing PD's much years ago. I've been in a general mental health support group for 12 years and I think 2 of the others probably have AvPD. But they're either not sharing that or not diagnosed for similar reasons as me. Like I said, I've known these folks for about 12 years, care about them, even though I suspect our level of "relationship" some people might think is restricted.

Being very obsessive and compulsive I've done a lot of research about psychology and PD's and have some ideas about self-loathing and not being able to be yourself in the world and participate fully.

I agree, unfortunately a PD pattern isn't going away overnight. But, for me, a better understanding of what is, or might, be going on is helping me participate some with more "regular" folks.

I had been participating in the NPD forum -- those folks have some similarity with me. I learned a lot but the group seems to have dissipated for reasons I could speculate about but am not really sure. So . . .would you all be OK with me trying to participate some here?

Honestly, in my grand and glorious NPD, or codependent, way I'd also like to try to add something and help move the understanding of PD's forward, and help you all, if I can, which is something I wish I could do more for my friends, but lack the ability or understanding for. And, of course, I'd like to participate because participating helps me.

I also think that you AvPD's have a lot to offer the world that the world probably isn't too receptive to. Sucks for the world. So I'd like to learn some more about that, if I can.

Hello here today. Speaking for myself I have no objections at all, go for it. Personally though, I've been a member here for about five days and the novelty's already worn off.

Welcome you too!

I know everyone have lots of things to offer. The sad face is that there are people who thinks the world works much better without them.

Welcome! I have no problems in learning and sharing with people similar or different to me.

Glad to have you here, here today. I'm in an internet-based study on anxious PD and AvPD and wonder what the difference is...? I was dx'd w/PD NOS with avoidant features. I tend to avoid commitments - or, more accurately, I make promises that I end up breaking. My dx was made by a PhD psychologist following testing. I'm not sure that my PhD psychotherapist totally agrees w/all of the diagnoses, though.

I would love to hear that I have something to offer others. It's not how I feel most of the time, however.

Cheers~~