I so desperately want to do things, but always talk myself out of them!

I'm nearly 45 years old and have been shy all my life. I still remember report cards from kindergarten where the comments were "Is extremely quiet. Does not volunteer easily" I feared those comments more than I feared a bad grade growing up!

I'm married now and have been married for 6 years now. I married a very outgoing person, which is odd, but at least it helps me come out of my shell a bit. I really don't have any friends other than my coworkers so never go out really. I volunteered at a wildlife sanctuary 7 years ago and was supposed to be there for at least 3 months. Although I enjoyed it, I felt out of place there because I didn't really know what to say to others and felt like an outcast. I ended up coming up with a bogus excuse as to why I couldn't finish out my 3 months and of course did that over email because I couldn't do it face to face.

For months now I have once again been so close to volunteering at another sanctuary but stop myself every time because I know that I will feel awkward and will immediately feel like I don't belong there even though I absolutely love animals. I also for months have been contemplating taking either a jewelry making or glass fusing class at the art center but feel like I will probably be so out of place there and screw it up so badly that they will wonder why I signed up, even though it IS for beginners! If I had someone to do these things with me, I would go ahead and do them, but I just feel so awkward doing them alone and I know my husband wouldn't do them with me.

Just so tired of doing nothing with my life due to the "what ifs"!

Maybe a good place for you (all of us, truth be told) to start is to forgive yourself for the blame you've put on yourself for being an introvert and start to embrace the person you have obviously always been, claim it as your own, unique you. Just rest with that idea for a while, that it is perfectly okay to be you, no excuses or explanations necessary.

Here is a link to a good TED talk on introverts and what they have to offer:

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=...xsu-rEnzcyBhJQ

When we come to real acceptance of who we are, the authentic us, then the rest of things like what to do with our time/interests tends to fall into place. Self-acceptance will make it a wee bit easier to do those things we genuinely have an interest in doing but feel uncomfortable with at first because we are more grounded.

It really isn't up to me to judge but it doesn't sound like there is anything 'wrong' with you, other than the way you are viewing yourself. I love introverts and my personality leans in that direction also :-)

Thanks for that. I will take a look at the link.

The thing that kills me, is if someone is loud and obnoxious and in everyone's business, they are not seen as weird, just annoying. But as an introvert you are immediately seen as the weird one who doesn't talk. I would much rather be that way than having to be the center of attention. I work with someone who doesn't shut up and seems to know intimate details of everyone's lives somehow and isn't afraid to tell everyone. The type of person who, even if I wanted to talk around, wouldn't be able to get 2 words out of my mouth and even then, she would turn the conversation back to all about her. Our intern was out for a few days due to kidney stones and this woman could care less about that because she spent 10 minutes telling her all about the time when SHE had kidney stones, which was of course 10 times worse with the pain. Seems like no matter what you say she's got a story to top it!

I hear/understand what you are saying. I wouldn't trade places with those obnoxious people, though. Too much effort, being nosy and a one-upper! Better to be me, even if it isn't always comfortable.