Avoiding family?

Has anyone just advoid there family because the things they say really hurt? Or them throwing there temper is terrifying?

Hi Blue Jeans! I avoid my family a lot. We are not close at all and usually its the old boring smalltalk. Sometimes they can say things that hurt and it annoys the hell out of me, but what can I say? Not easy for people without avpd to understand why a 34 year old man is living by himself, no friends, never had a girlfriend etc. WHat is your situation? Does your family talk a lot of **** to you? If so, do you think some of this might be the reason you avoid people?

Not a "close family" (PUs) (parental units etc) - check
Abuse - check

I regret your family are sub optimal. Sometimes avoiding them is necessary

I avoid my family. Most of them started avoiding me first.

I even got some birthday cards recently that I haven't even opened yet. Maybe I just won't.

Yep. I have absolutely no contact with my family of origin except for occasional, superficial visits with my mother. This is necessary for my emotional survival.

Man oh MAN can I relate! The only member of my immediate family I have left is a sister that's 11 years my senior. We have so, SO much unsettled history ~ her 1st husband was a child molester, yes, I was one of his victims ~ we NEVER addressed this, the family was old school, preferring to keep family dirty laundry buried... Recently, a shared niece did a ancestor.com search, and discovered our brother was not her father *a fact I was convinced of all along...* the niece tells my sister 4 mths before me, when I contact my sister after hearing about it, she interrupts my call to say, " I know where you're going with this ~ she told me 4 mths ago..." I am so angry that she didn't bother to validate my long held assumption. (our brother was a brittle diabetic with a substantial potential estate this niece's mother was focused on attaining) instead felt somehow aligned with the money grubbing troll that married our brother while pregnant ~ hoping to cash in! My sister never contacts me til she needs someone to do something for her...I'm DONE!

Absolutely relate. Keep in mind that avoiding family and friends can happen for many reasons. Sometimes it is necessary, sometimes it is justified, sometimes it is due to trauma, etc.

I haven't spoken to some of my family in a very long time and I have felt better ever since. I absolutely relate to being hurt from the things they say and do. At one point it got so bad that they couldn't do anything without hurting me. I realized then and there that I had to set MAJOR limits and boundaries for my own sanity. It was a difficult decision to make, but it was necessary.

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

Yes. There are some relatives whose energy I find toxic and draining to be around, so I keep my distance to protect myself. I'm too sensitive to keep setting myself up for my feelings to be invalidated. These people won't change, so I've changed the frequency of our interactions.

Sometimes i try but its hard for me to go around family very much. I am to sensitive and somethings my mother says hurts my feelings and just rubs me the wrong way. I have been like this all of my life and i wish things were different and i wish that there was more people than none that i associated with. I have a boyfriend, but i barely talk to him because i just dont know how to.