A little about me and AvPD

So i just joined this site and wanted to tell people how extreme this disorder is regarding how much it impacts my life.
So i was not a very social person as a young child. I normally hung out by myself a little ways from everyone else but i could still normally interact and socialize if i wanted to. If someone were to come up to me and decide to socialize i would be ok with that. It got worse the older i got. Now i am in my late teens in college and i do not go out at all besides work and school (although sometimes i skip). I just cannot fathom going out and seeing all those people because i always think they are looking and judging me for every little thing i do whether its the color of my shoes or the way i style my hair. Now i get panic attacks because of things like presentations or even something as small as attending the class itself because i don’t want to see all of those people. People make me nervous, panicked, anxious, terrified because they’re just so unpredictable. How do i know if they will like me? How do i know if i can trust them enough to talk to them? How do i know that they aren’t silently judging everything about me?

I'm sorry to hear you're having such a hard time. Those of us on this forum know how severely social disorders can disrupt life.

Are you getting any sort of counselling or therapy for it? Most colleges and universities offer counselling to students. It can be a little hit and miss finding someone you relate to, which is important for most therapy. But it is available at no extra cost, which is not something to ignore. Once you graduate, such help is expensive and/or has long waiting lists. So I'd advise you to give it a try, if you haven't already done so.

And you can always discuss things here. We certainly relate. Best wishes and take care.

I've also had problems connecting with people (and in some ways, still have). What I advise you is join a support or self-help group with people in a similar situation. What really helped me was being in a group of people knowing that they had problems too and I didn't need to be "ashamed" for mine. That's what hinders me personally most in social contact, the constant fear of being inferior and less stable than others and others somehow "discovering" that.

There's this group called "Emotions Anonymous" for people recovering from mental and emotional illness. It was recommended to me by other people and my therapist because you can be in an anonymous setting with compassionate people there.

Emotions Anonymous

Hope you'll feel better soon.

No. I used to go to a therapist when i was a young teen but i ended up stopping that because it made me to upset to talk to someone in person like that, especially a stranger who i don't know well enough to judge how they would react. I might ask for some help later (emphasis on might) as i am not yet familiar enough with my college and the people themselves still make me wary. Are there online therapists or something? My anxiety is really based on physical interaction and stuff like phone calls and video messaging.

I will probably join a group online just because its easier for me to cope and talk when i am not physically with the person i am talking to. Im not sure why, maybe because i cannot see their reactions to things i say? I've already posted some stuff on this site and some people are responding with things that help like you two. I will go check out that group, thanks

There are online therapists and organizations, but I don't have experience with them. I've seen a few varied responses on these forums about them. I guess you'd just have to try and see what it's like for you. A word of caution. It can be difficult to know what kind of qualifications, licensing, and adherence to protocols and ethics they may have. Obviously, you can't implicitly believe every claim made on a web site. All I can recommend is to do some research.