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#26
Sep 06, 2020, 11:51 AM
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I also feared not knowing my sons but that never occurred. Moving to a new house might pose some challenges. One of the side effects that has impacted me most severely is navigation. I used to be able to find my way naturally through a general sense of the cardinal directions. Now, in "monthly" maintenance I still can't recall directions, even in local, previously well-known towns. This has contributed to a certain degree of agoraphobia. In turn, I treat it all as simple facets of who I am now, attempting to accept the things I cannot change.
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#27
Sep 06, 2020, 12:03 PM
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While I've never been triggered (as I see it), I do find that the lethargy dissipates. In the last few days before my maintenance treatments I tend to sink into a mild depression. Your description of waiting for the day to be over is apt. After the ECT, though, I am back where we're supposed to be, engaged, ambitious, energetic in a normal capacity.
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#28
Sep 06, 2020, 01:28 PM
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Thank you very much for all the insights! I'll make sure to keep it all in mind and make notes of it. Being engaged, ambitious, and energetic sounds like a dream, almost too good to be true! The prospect of that makes me hopeful for the first time in a very long while. |
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#29
Sep 07, 2020, 09:02 PM
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I am so, so pleased to see that the 2 of you have connected and bounced some concerns and tips around.
FluffyD, I have a suggestion. Months ago I started my own thread here on the BD board. I found it was the easiest way to keep track of my meds. (For some strange reason, a couple of people bucked up against me for having "my own" thread. There are a few of us around who do, and for some odd reason that annoys a couple of folks. When Doc John was questioned, however, he firmly okayed the "my thread" concept.) I'm fine with anybody commenting on my own thread, but I don't expect them to. I strongly suggest that you create your own thread about your pre-ECT, ECT, post-ECT experiences. As Dao pointed out, it does a world of good to follow your own progress. I didn't even realize how helpful it would be until I actually need to reference something. And I agree with you - write down your passwords. I feel excited for you! You might very well be someone who finds tremendous benefit through ECT.
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 Daonnachd
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 Daonnachd
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#30
Sep 07, 2020, 09:15 PM
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| *Beth*
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#31
Sep 09, 2020, 09:39 AM
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Sorry for the late and brief reply, I've just been too tired to be on here much. But yes, I do think that sounds like a very good idea, thank you! I think maybe journaling will also help with the memories, and talking to my therapist about it. I'll bring that up with her next time I see her. I hope that you're right about the benefits. I'm kind of scared about it but also looking forward to it. I hope I can start sooner rather than later. I would do it tomorrow if I could.
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| *Beth*, Daonnachd
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| *Beth*
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#32
Sep 09, 2020, 03:22 PM
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It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence, to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words: "And this, too, shall pass away." How much it expresses! How chastening in the hour of pride! How consoling in the depths of affliction! ---"Address before the Wisconsin State Agricultural Society". Abraham Lincoln Online. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. September 30, 1859. |
| Daonnachd
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#33
Sep 10, 2020, 01:43 PM
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@FluffyDinosaur
The memory holes are a curious thing. I've been getting ECT since 2015 and have some serious holes but have also had some interesting recoveries. For example, my wife and I were in conversation with another bicyclist when she (my wife) mentioned my having hit a dog on my bike. Now, my memory loss is a big stressor for her so I just acted like I remembered the experience, though I did not. However, the comment identified a hole for me and I began to obsess over the details I had lost. During our hour-long drive home, while my whole family was engaged with cell phones I was trying to recall anything I could about the dog accident. All of a sudden, I had a breakthrough. I could remember the dog running out in front of me, my reaction, and the conclusion. So I think given a bit of a framework we can rebuild some of the memories that by themselves are lost. All this to say don't be too nervous about memory loss. The brain is plastic and can surprise us by adapting when we don't expect it.
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#34
Sep 11, 2020, 01:53 AM
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Thanks, so that means it's at least possible. I hope mania doesn't happen in my case, although I would be fine with hypomania tbh. |
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#35
Sep 11, 2020, 01:55 AM
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Yeah, I'm trying to imagine what it will be like but I'm not sure I can. It seems like a pretty bizarre experience. It's promising to know that it's possible to recover most memories. One thing I would be kind of afraid of is that I might develop false memories, where people suggest a past event to me and my mind just fills in the blanks, and I can't tell whether it's a real memory or not. Have you ever experienced anything like that and found out about it because your memories mismatched with someone else's? |
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#36
Sep 11, 2020, 06:31 AM
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False memories - I've never experienced that.
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| FluffyDinosaur
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#37
Sep 11, 2020, 09:09 AM
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The good news is I got a call from the hospital and I have a date for the admission interview. The bad news is it's nearly two months from now, and I have no idea how long after that until the actual treatment starts. Seems like an eternity.
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| *Beth*, Daonnachd
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| *Beth*
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#38
Sep 11, 2020, 09:35 PM
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Nearly 2 months!! I am thinking that there must be some way to expedite that. Does your psychiatrist know about the wait?
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#39
Sep 12, 2020, 02:59 AM
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Last edited by FluffyDinosaur; Sep 12, 2020 at 06:03 AM. |
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#40
Sep 12, 2020, 11:22 AM
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Ohhh...I'll bet you're correct about covid. So frustrating! But I'm concerned about such a wait for you. Definitely worth telling your pdoc that you're sincerely afraid of the long wait.
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#41
Sep 12, 2020, 02:03 PM
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Yeah, I will definitely tell him that. I feel like I can't take any more and I could snap at any second. Seriously don't know how I'm supposed to get through two more months of this. |
| *Beth*, Daonnachd
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| *Beth*
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#42
Sep 12, 2020, 03:26 PM
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Yes, it seems inhumane to request that you wait so long.
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#43
Sep 12, 2020, 03:38 PM
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I don't remember how long it took before they got me in, but they did insist I get a full physical workup including electrocardiogram. So check with the ECT department to learn if that's required. It will allow you to avoid any extra delay. Good luck!
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#44
Sep 13, 2020, 01:13 AM
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Yes, it certainly feels that way to me right now, even though I know the hospital staff are probably doing the best they can.
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| *Beth*
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#45
Sep 13, 2020, 01:15 AM
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Thank you, I will be sure to ask them that. I suspect that they're planning to do this on that first appointment I have, because they did say I would be seeing a bunch of different people that day. Hopefully it means treatment can be started not too long after that. |
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#46
Sep 13, 2020, 12:16 PM
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Yes, but sometimes the squeaky wheel does get the grease.
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#47
Sep 13, 2020, 01:27 PM
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I really hope so! I hope my Pdoc is willing to do some squeaking on my behalf. I should know soon! |
| *Beth*
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#48
Sep 14, 2020, 12:24 PM
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In preparation for the ECT I'm making a list of stuff I need to remember. So far I have:
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| *Beth*
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#49
Sep 14, 2020, 04:33 PM
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I would slip your notes into a book, leave the book somewhere sensible like bedside table, then write note to self on hand about the book.
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| *Beth*
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#50
Sep 16, 2020, 01:12 PM
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__________________
It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence, to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words: "And this, too, shall pass away." How much it expresses! How chastening in the hour of pride! How consoling in the depths of affliction! ---"Address before the Wisconsin State Agricultural Society". Abraham Lincoln Online. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. September 30, 1859. |
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