[Bats0711]

I'm just curious if those that are stay at home parents get scared to be at home alone with their kids? This feeling is new for me, I don't know why I am feeling it other than the fact I know that currently I'm not feeling well, I'm all over the place, I'm a wreck. Well actually I guess this question pertains to ALL parents.

[Slick399]

It has to be scary to be at home with your children when you are supposed to be in charge and your body is not allowing you to. Just do the best you know how until someone else gets home or can come in and help by giving you a break. hang in there.

[BNLsMOM]

I am home with my kids about 90% of the time. I am never concerned about hurting them intentionally, but I have had one of my "tantrums" and scared my older son. I realized afterwards that if he or the toddler had been behind a door, I might have hit them with the door as I was slamming it over and over again.

When I was VERY depressed, I was able to do the bare minimum of giving them meals and changing diapers, but for the most part, I just made sure they were in a safe area and let the TV be the mommy for the day. I felt guilty, but after a while I relized I was doing the best I could.

I tell my husband now when I am feeling capable or incapable of being Mommy and he does the best he can to accomodate me.

I am hoping I can do a better job once I am on meds and managing this better.

Just do the best you can and celebrate the small victories of keeping them safe and fed.

I hope that helps...

[Slothrop]

I feel like a super-lame dad most of the time because I am so often tired, introverted, grumpy. I don't think I am scared to be alone with them. Sometimes I "dread" looking after them, I guess, because it's hard for me to get the energy to do it and even then I give a pretty half-baked performance.

Are you scared that something bad might happen, or scared at how hard it is when you are feeling bad?

[multipixie9]

I got to be a stay-at-home parent and there were times I felt very afraid at home with my little children. I was suffering with depression and severe anxiety at the time and was not aware of some severe abuse issues I had repressed. My primary goal as a parent was to never hurt them the way I had been hurt as a child. I was able to do better by them than I had received as a child and I apologised when my difficulties made life tough for them. I did not abuse them and I am so very glad about that, but there were still ways in which I was not a great mom because I was depressed and hanging on by my fingernails. My fears kept me from doing as much fun stuff with them as I wish I could have done and I limited their social activity sometimes because of my fears and wish I had not held them back due to my own needs.

I think the important thing is that you need to ask yourself is, "WHY am I so afraid?" Fear doesn't exist for no reason and discovering that reason can help you find what you need to remove or cure the fear you have. There are NO perfect parents, but there is more help for parents than there was when my children were small (oldest is 27).

[Amazonmom]

I was scared of being alone with my baby after I found out about my bipolar.
But then I realized something...if my psych NP (who has a degree in infant/family mental health) didn't think I was a danger to my baby, I should probably believe her. I was listening to the media stereotype of bipolar, instead of the reality I had lived with for 16 years.

I always managed to care for my baby even when I was the most depressed I have ever been. Of course I had been completely neglecting myself...which led my hubby to beg me to get help.

Even during the Zoloft incident (hypomania big time), I was so careful with my baby. I had to make sure the car seat was perfect, I drove right at the speed limit with her in the car, etc...

There really is such a thing as a good enough parent. Watching you deal with your bipolar and manage it will be a good example for your kids that you deal with challenges instead of hiding from them.