[Berries]

(i am double dipping)

I have an interview with Big Brother Big Sister today. I am extrememly nervous and anxious about it.

For many reasons.

Was up a lot of the night and the part where i was asleep i had scarey nightmares (not that unusal, but even more intense last night).

I am hyped up on caffein and took a klonopin for my nerves.

I am scared for many reasons. One of which they ask you about mental illness. I will not lie.

I am also scared I'll pass the interview but no parent will want a mentally ill Big Sister.

AND I am scared a parent will want me and I will become a Big Sister!!!!

But here I go anyway...

[BNLsMOM]

I hope it works out for you. Who knows, maybe you will touch the life of a kid who really needs someone with your specific gifts.

[thinker22]

This reminds me of last year when I was thinking about adopting a foster kid and I realized if I sought treatment for my depression it could some how be used against me. Now I figure I'm really too messed up to be a parent...although I always was. It would be nice to be a mentor, but that's probably also out of the question unless no one finds out I'm bipolar. Having a chemical imbalance that is fully treatable doesn't mean we'd ever do anything to harm a child. That's just dumb. Now, if we were say, hallucinating 24-7 it might be difficult to even cross the street by ourselves, let alone with a kid, but really. I think bipolar people are some of the most sensitive and kind on the planet. It's probably our sensitivity that makes us more prone to being triggered by really sad or happy things. Our emotions are not totally dulled and denied like "normal" people. In that sense we'd probably be better mentors or parents to kids who have been through trauma. After all, most of us have too and know what it's like to feel lost and helpless in this often scary world.

[cantstopcrying]

Oh Berries!!! You will make a wonderful Big!!!! Both of my children benefited from the BBBS program and those who volunteer are absolutely amazing people!!! Kudos to you for not being willing to lie about having a mental illness....there is no reason to. Berries, I could just you!!! Thank you for being willing to spend your time and your love and your knowledge with a child. You totally are a hero!!!!