[kwgardner2010]

After a disasterous experience with a in home counseling service, Today I have decided to say goodbye to counseling once and for all. It is time for me to learn how to deal with issues on my own.

I am slowly allowing myself to shut down for a period of time just to focus on me and start cutting out activities that I feel that is putting me under to much stress. I have decided to become a hermit and get out only to take care of business and then come right home. Socializing is out of the question. I am just tired of being around people all the time.

[thinker22]

I empathize. I'm where you are right now. I quit my therapy and fired my p-nurse on Friday. I figure I can take care of myself better than they can and have. I've been pretty much a hermit for the past 2 years. It suits me. People are often draining. So many expectations...so many chances to say and do the wrong thing when you'd rather be at home anyway.

I'm probably not the best one to respond to your thoughts as I think the exact same thing. But if things get too bad again, I'll probably have to go back to therapy and meds. This disease is tough to survive without any help, although I did it for 29 years alone.

Maybe after a period of being alone you'll feel recharged enough to go back into the world of therapy and socializing, but it's okay even if not. Just don't eat yourself up talking to the four walls. Kidding, but sometimes it does feel that bad.

[BNLsMOM]

I understand your feelings, but I feel like Therapy is my only solace right now.

[RubyRedd]

i thought about that. my counselor and psychtr were a couple that recently retired. i thought...'that was it, i won't live much longer on my own' . i've tried the hermit thing. i was just as miserable as being in the public. now i'm trying to talk to people who cn't see me, or who don't know me..to me a safe place. i found a counselor who is very helpful. the doctor hunt took longer...and the 1st choice was a looser. i keep thinking one day i'll give up...but today isn't that day.

[DancingAlone]

I really understand. I've had so many therapists I've lost count. They either get promoted and don't do therapy anymore, they move, or they are idiots with a license. Over the years, I've had two good ones. The first was the one that diagnosed me (finally, answers!) and then he transferred away. The second was last year and he was wonderful, but he quit to give lectures and write books. So I just said that's it! And I asked my regular physician if she felt comfortable in prescribing my psychotropic meds. She did, and so that's where I am now. I have a backup pdoc that I would need a referral to see from my reg doc if things get bad, or I'll just go to the ER and psych ward. I am stable as I've ever been on meds now, so far so good.

What I'm trying to say, partly, is have a plan in place just in case. I'm literally talked out with therapists, I have nothing else to say except here. I find coming online is more beneficial than therapy even on a good day. Here, everybody understands what it's like to suffer with BPD, and I find a lot of comfort in that, and I've also learned so much. As far as being social, I am on disability (13 years now) after working hard all my life and losing many jobs due to BPD. Now I lead a very low-stress life, alone (NOT lonely). I work a very menial parttime job that gets me out 3 days a week. I love my detective shows on tv, and I have the best neighbors in the world who accept me and are always there to listen if I need to talk. I had to cut loose from my family, they are totally unsupportive and I decided I didn't need that anymore, so adios. My parents are deceased, I am 62 and as happy as I've ever been.

I know some people need therapy, and a social network. There's a lot to learn about having BPD, and a good therapist is worth their weight in gold in helping guide us through all the med changes, the ups and downs, helping deal with lost dreams, helping to repair relationships, whatever we need help with along this journey.

I'm also an alcoholic (last drunk 1986) so I rely heavily on the Serenity Prayer and a higher power. I have to have faith in something, it fills a hole in my soul, especially on the dark days. Anyway, just adding my 2c! Fascinating topic. Good luck to all!

[lonegael]

Completely understand. I've been lucky, but even so I've had a couple of real dorks (one here in Sweden tried to tell me I had a character weakness, and that my diagnosis from the states didn't count here) Besides, I think that it's healthy to take a break from therapy, if not from the meds. Too much navel-gazing can be counter-productive and I needed that energy for my family. You take care.

Do what you need to do, and know it can change back, too. That's life