[ammbs]

Lately I have been pushing the one's I love away the most. Today I was hanging with my ex-boyfriend of two years. He is in the Military and we hardly ever hung out and when he came back from being over sea's I pushed him away saying harsh things. When we hung out today I told him that I did that, because I didn't want to get hurt again like I always do. In the end I messed things up worse and I don't know what to do. I feel like I want to blame the fact that I have BP on my crappy relationships, but I know it's just me as a person. Does anyone else ever do this or is it just me?

[sfu454]

Originally Posted by ammbs

Lately I have been pushing the one's I love away the most. Today I was hanging with my ex-boyfriend of two years. He is in the Military and we hardly ever hung out and when he came back from being over sea's I pushed him away saying harsh things. When we hung out today I told him that I did that, because I didn't want to get hurt again like I always do. In the end I messed things up worse and I don't know what to do. I feel like I want to blame the fact that I have BP on my crappy relationships, but I know it's just me as a person. Does anyone else ever do this or is it just me?

Your not alone. I do that crap all the time. Sometimes when your down you are a nasty person to others because you just are. I feel bad after I say something nasty to someone, but then I just go back to not caring about anything anymore, until my manic phase comes in. Then I care about everything again!

[Lost71]

Originally Posted by ammbs

Does anyone else ever do this or is it just me?

I push people away every time I think they would be better off without me, so you're not alone. Hugs for you.

[jbug]

You aren't alone...I do this all the time. I am in the pushing away phase of a relationship right now. But soon I will come crying into this persons life again and the cycle will repeat itself over and over.

Jan

[bridgie]

I was like that just the other day saying mean things and being a little spiteful over things I don't like. Nasty sarcasm. And then I will be sweet again. I don't know why at times I feel as if I'd be better off alone and they'd be better with out me.

[thinker22]

I'm pretty withdrawn too when I'm depressed. My SO just leaves me alone because he knows I don't want to talk or be touched. I feel bad that I can't be warm, but my feelings are so terrible there's not much I can do except for wait for the mood to pass.

Now I'm manic with heightened senses and the lightest kiss can make me squirm in panic and I think we're going to hit something in the car every second when he's driving.

So I know I'm annoying or downright scary sometimes on either end of the spectrum. It just sucks.

Sorry ammbs. Have to get our meds right.