[bridgie]

My mind is a mess its fuzzy and I'm hating everything I want to shave my head I hate my hair I hate my clothes I hate the nice guy I've been seeing. I hate the guy I wanted to have aske me out. I hate myself for being shallow. I feel sick to my stomach. Disgust is what that is about. I'm not happy I want to be up I'm dissapointed that I don't get what I want and I'm mean so mean and shallow and I'm angry and I have low energy I want to get thinner I want to run away maybe never come back just so I don't have to deal with all of these emotions that are attatched to a location and ppl. Ooh I don't know I don't care I just want something I don't even know what I want.

[thinker22]

It doesn't seem okay right now, bridgie, but it really is. We've all gone through self loathing and being irritable with other people to some degree. When I was a young kid, my dream was to be able to move away to the forest somewhere and never have to see another human being again. My dream hasn't changed much, except for I'd like to share it with one other person, which I do.

Don't give up on those around you. Believe me, I know, whereever you go, there you are. The problem is internal...in your brain/mind. That's the good news. It is treatable. But, you can't outrun it or try to get rid of all the people in your life. That's a temporary and damaging solution in the long run.

You know this. But it doesn't change the fact that you're hurting right now and mad at yourself. I hope you will continue with your treatment and recognize these feelings as not you, but as part of the disease.

Take care and stay in touch, okay?