[tunesinger]

I'm a rapid cycler and on top of that, I have a lot of mixed episodes. I cannot live on the low side, so I have to take an anti depressant which is a no no for someone who gets as Manic as I do. I'm not sleeping again, and reliving "the glory days" in my head when I was a great therapist and able to really help people. I just took the manic quiz on here and of course everything makes sense that I am manic now, I know what to do etc. but my problem is, has everything I have done, while being manic NOT REAL or just grandiosity? I mean was I ever good at what I did? People have looked me up from twenty years ago and said as a therapist I made a huge difference in their lives, so their is some evidence there but was it me. I'm starting to think that even tho I achieved a lot in my career, maybe I wasn't who I thought I was even back when I was able to work? Maybe it was just some grandiose idea of what I wanted it to be. Its a deep thought for so early in the morning.
Tunesinger

[phoenix47baby]

Tunesinger,

I am sure you have been a very capable, caring professional who has been way above board and has given your patients a lot of yourself. Don't second guess yourself now. Mania does not mean that you have not succeeded. You have succeeded. Take it easy on yourself. Sending kind thoughts and gentle hugs your way.

[ilazria]

Even if the things you did were done while manic, that doesn't negate what you accomplished. If people are taking the time to get in touch with you, and let you know how you helped, that's a pretty big sign that you did some good. In my rather cynical and jaded view of the world, people are rarely bothered to show gratitude. You had to have done some real good, if people are taking the time to tell you so.

Totally agree with ilazria, tunesinger. I only go hypomanic, but truly some of my best things happened in those times. I make things. Lots of things. Sometimes lots and lots(!) And even with tangible items, I can beat myself up in the low times (they suck, I suck, you know the drill...)... so, as a guess, it might be even harder not to do that with things that are less tangible. The fact that people have even come back to tell you what a help you have been to them (and that *is* rare! What a compliment!), is a huge indication of the REALNESS of your accomplishments. (Sure, grandiosity can get us carried away...been there a bit... but never let that take away from the whole big bunch of things that DO get accomplished--for real and very well.)
(Btw, love your avatar -- almost picked it as well -- had it narrowed down to 3 tonight, that one among them! Funny rodents for the win!)