[Pamela Choi]

Due to Bipolar and the side effect that it has with our emotions amongest everything we try to accomplish it the so called "control" aspect.

Its hard not to look at the past and move forward, especially if the past memories are negative, in the answer or action we need.

Question: If we forgive and cannot forget, is this fogiveness?

[Junerain]

I believe forgetting and forgiving are 2 different things.....I forgive my mother for being a rotten mother, but I do NOT forget...When you forgive you are making an adult choice to let go of all the anger boiling up inside of you, you are not going to make the perpetrator's problem your problem, you know deep down God will punish him or her for their actions, if you do not and take the high road, forgiveness..

Yet a part of us we forgive but we do not forget the pain associated, it lingers on, a testament to who we are and who we were meant to be treated as, our dignity runs deep.....

I will NEVER forget what my mother did to me...................

Pm me anytime, Pamela, I enjoy your posts

[Pamela Choi]

Originally Posted by Junerain

I believe forgetting and forgiving are 2 different things.....I forgive my mother for being a rotten mother, but I do NOT forget...When you forgive you are making an adult choice to let go of all the anger boiling up inside of you, you are not going to make the perpetrator's problem your problem, you know deep down God will punish him or her for their actions, if you do not and take the high road, forgiveness..

Yet a part of us we forgive but we do not forget the pain associated, it lingers on, a testament to who we are and who we were meant to be treated as, our dignity runs deep.....

I will NEVER forget what my mother did to me...................

Pm me anytime, Pamela, I enjoy your posts

You know the saying what goes around, comes around.

I have noticed every bad thing that i have done, comes around infront of the person i did wrong.

Why cant i see same results

[phoenix47baby]

Question: If we forgive and cannot forget, is this fogiveness?

Yes, it is forgiveness but forgiveness is an inside job that we
must do for ourselves, not the other person.

[Secretspirit]

I think it is forgiveness. I also think it can be a little bit foolish to forget some things/actions by others. We have all been hurt. It is interesting though that we can forgive and forget a major thing that might have happened in the recent past, but then be able to forgive by not forget something that happened years and years ago. And I also believe that just because I don't see karma gettin' the person who wronged me, doesn't mean karma didn't get them. It just means karma didn't think I needed to know about it =D
I think this is a question we have all struggled with at one time or another. Journaling helps me in this kind of thing. So does writing the person a letter as to why I cannot forget BUT not sending it. I actually tear it into tiny little pieces after I write the letter which makes me feel oh so much better.

[Junerain]

May I ask the nature of the act you are struggling to forgive, and whether to forget, Pamela?

[lonegael]

I say that yes, it is. The idea is that when you forgive, you love the person as if what has happened has not. Yet "forgetting" in some instances would not be good for either person. It depends on the offence, and it depends on the person who offends and what his or her problems are. Just my opinion.
There is a book by Louise Smedes called "Forgive and Forget" which takes this up very well.