[sqrlb8]

Hi all, Tgr asked me to pass along that she is in a bp crash and burn and is out of commission as well regarding her crashed computer. They say life come's crashing....oh nevermind.

She's gonna be fine. You all know how she is, but she's in the poop for now.

Don't pm me about her, cause I won't tell you anything. (hey, i'd do the same for you.)

[darkeyes]

Hope all works out for her soon.

((((((((((((((( Tgrpurr )))))))))))))

Sincerely,

DE

[dogtanian]

i hope she feels lots better soon, and that her computer sorts itself out too! i'll miss her posts, but here's hoping she comes back bright tailed and bushy eyed xxx

[TgrsPurr]

Holy Crap, thank you all so much for your love and concern, you overwhelm me. My cup runneth over. I'm humbled by all of your responses.

The good news is that I'm doing much better after a most spectacular breakdown....physically, mentally, psychologically, but most of all...emotionally. As most of you know I've taken on my bp illness med free. This is a personal choice. But after much correspondence in this forum on the subject, I became willing to adjust my thinking and feelings on the subject and I went on the meds. While they certainly helped initially, ultimately they were my undoing, not the only culprit, but definately one of them. My cycles as of late have been quite different on many levels. The intensity of the extremes has become exponentially greater, the severity of the cycles has gone off the charts, my cycles of depression to mania are lasting a little longer than before, my mixed states are quite so mixed anymore. So needless to say, I'm in unchartered territory, flying blind and dangerously low on fuel.My sleep habits have been all but non-existant which we all know affects our perception of the symptoms of bp, they become more exagerated and more desperate. Another new feature for me is extreme panic and anxiety. I've taken to having horrible anxiety attacks, panic attacks and pretty much a constant state of anxiety on a rather uncomfortable level. Really it was the anxiety that brought me to my knees this time around. It's new to me and I didn't quite know how to handle it, but I grappled with it, did battle with it, surrendered to it and got my *** whooped big time. Fortunately when things reached there absolute worst I was just up the hall from my therapist who kicked her client out of her office to tend to me "emergency situation". She excused me from work for a couple days and one day I went home early when I'd just had enough of the pressure and feared an even breakdown with ppl who weren't qualified to deal with it the way a counselor is. Can you imagine?

I've not totally abandoned the meds, but I'm going a completely different route and am feeling much better. I reached out to each and every one of the resources I have at my disposal for my mental illnesses, mostly bp. I had a very close and personal friend who helped see me through it without missing a beat. My bf did the best he could with his limited understanding of my illness. He's a wonderful man that I've been with for a year. When you think about it a year is not all that long, especially when involved with someone with bp. The stretches of normalcy that are followed by extreme mood swings is rough on even the loveliest of ppl. But he dug his fingernails in and held on for the rollercoaster ride. The ride is by no means over, but it's back to being a little more fun again, LOL, the "thrill" of the ride, the excitement of being creative, clever, witty, funny, not so serious and not taking myself quite so seriously. I swear, amusement parks must have been created by someone with bi-polar....where else could you possibly get an idea like that. The thrill, the danger, the excitement, the fear...all rolled into about 5 spectacular minutes. I don't know, just an opinion, thinking aloud again as usual.

Well, I think I've gone on long enough. Hope I didn't bore you to tears. Thanks again for the support to all of you who cared enough to respond to sqrls post at my request. I have more topics to do discuss in this forum, come on ppl, lets face it, we need to breath some fresh life here. I can't help but feel some sense of disappointment when I sign in and there's nothing here for days on end. We're bp for crying out loud, we can be just about the most talkative ppl in any room we enter. So lets start sharing our thoughts, questions, feelings, hopes, dreams, desires, failures, successes, issues and the beautiful side to this grand illness that makes our lives so colorful. Let's start painting my friends, loved ones and fellow bper's.
TgrsPurr. xo

[nothemama8]

, hers back
Ang

well, i mentioned feeling down to my daughter and she remarked that she thought my meds were taking care of that. i tried to explain that i've been BP for years and the meds won't just make me well over night..end of discussion...she just wants me to be like i was when she was small.........it hurts.

[wi_fighter]

Sometimes I wish I was bipolar so I could have the manic episodes to counteract the sluggish episodes. I just have blah, and blah-er with a whooo hoooo!! thrown in when I take the kids to a water park or other fun activity. Frig! I need to get back on Celexa no matter the cost. (edited to add - I get behind in work and lose pay when I'm in a slump. I could build up a ....oh nevermind.....I'd probably spend any extra money I made during a manic episode anyway).


I think my lack of a real life social circle is partly to blame. No one to get out and do things with.

Good to see you back Tgrs. BTW, do tigers really purr? :humming:

i really bottomed out earlier today.....it was, i think, situational but none the less, i scraped myself up off floor........

[TgrsPurr]

Pat, first of all I'm empathetic to what you went through yesterday. I'm a little disappointed with how your daughter handled you, but it's not place to remark about other ppl's children, especially to Mom's as they are the protectors of their cubs.

That being said, I want to tell you that though you have a very serious illness appropriately called bi-poplar/manic depression. Can you think of a better term than that? Well, lol, I'm sure we could come up with some pretty funny ones if we try. Hey, lets do that! Lets have some fun with our illness and get some good laughs! We all need it as so many ppl seem to be cycling at the same time these days. But I digress. My point, you are clearly one of the strongest ppl I know. Strong in personality and integrity (and in this day age, to have integrity is exceedingly rare). Strong in knowing who you are, strong in knowing what's important to you, strong in providing support, sound advice and encouragement to others here. Strong in that you sought help for your illness and when finally diagnosed...take your meds, communicate and use your resources and most of all you display great strength through your outstanding sense of humor about so many things. Personally your strength and sense of humor are your best attributes of many.

Okay, okay, I'm all done gushing all over you now. Just wanted to give you an important and much needed reminder to you about just how strong you really are and how cable you are of pulling yourself up by your bootstraps and eloquently just moving on to the next thing.

I have great admiration for you and am coming to love you dearly and considering one of my greatest of friends. So I salute you this morning with my cup of coffe with a resounding "She's a golly good fellow (fellowous, ?)

Keep in touch with me please. Your important to me in a big way. TgrsPurr. xo

[Rebound]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
<snip> Can you think of a better term than that? Well, lol, I'm sure we could come up with some pretty funny ones if we try. Hey, lets do that! Lets have some fun with our illness and get some good laughs! <snip>

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
My vote goes to.... drumroll please...

Emotionally Gifted.
Hey there's some kind of pc term for everything isn't there? ;-)

[Rebound]

Second choice: Variably Creative.

TgrsPurr: those were very kind words that you wrote about me.......i'm here to send 'em right back at you....one of your best traits is your strength. here you've lost your job and you're handling it well while you're thinking ahead to what you need to do. you've been such a source of support for so many here......and a lot of us really do appreciate it. i'm here for you.......tell me what to do....love you, pat

[dogtanian]

hey tiger, it's nice to have you back, and faye - hang in there

and my vote for a better term than bp/md would be .... er....

stability challenged

my vote is for "bip-pop".......it's catchy. it sounds a little bit like "hip-hop"....and it's easy to say.

[TheCheshireCat]

Works for me. "Bipolar disorder with rapid cycling" is such a mouthful, my mood's likely to have changed by the time I've finished getting it out. Cheshire Cat.

[TgrsPurr]

Okay, this one had me ROTFLMAO. I think so far, I like this one best, "stability challenged", I'll be laughing about that one for some time to come. In fact, I think I'll use it.
TgrsPurr, xo.