[Psyched]

Hi everyone,
I'm a newbie here, looking for support. Dx w/ severe depression since childhood. I'm sure that it's a combination of genetics & environment. I've been in therapy forever & have tried almost every med. manufactured, to no avail. I just get the undesirable side effects, such as my hair falling out & weight gain, which I'm not willing to endure again. Needless to say, I've become disillusioned w/ Pdocs & haven't seen one in a few years. My PCP prescribed celexa but I recently stopped taking it after 8 months for the aforementioned reasons. A few Pdocs I've seen in the past 5 years or so have thought that I may actually be suffering from Bipolar Disorder Type 2, b/c my depression is so disabling. Another red flag was that the mood stabilizer, Lamictal, caused me to become hypomanic. However, aside from not being able to sleep for several nights in a row sometimes, including the past few ( & this problem has lasted for several months at times), & a seeming inability to stop myself from talking too much or saying inappropriate things ( although I think that's due to intense anxiety/social phobia, & the insomnia can also be attributed to worrying & stress), I've never experienced mania or anything like it, let alone elation or happiness. In fact, I've literally spent most of my life in bed. Alone. I do have frequent uncontrollable rages, sometimes yelling out loud when I'm by myself. (But that may be my Borderline Personality Disorder.) By now, I'm sure you're really confused! Imagine how I feel. Is there anyone out there like me? I feel so hopeless, like no one will ever understand what's really wrong w/ me. Thanks in advance for your thoughts.

[FeelingHopeful]

Hi Pysched, Im sorry your Having such a rough time. I dont Suffer from this, But I know there are people out there who do suffer from this. You will like it here, There are people you will find on here like yourself. This site is wonderful! Alot of great people to help you. Im glad you reached out! Welcome ! Here to Listen if you want to talk.

[phoenix47baby]

A correct diagnosis can be made by seeing a decent psychiatrist. You deserve to get help for this debilitating illness and curtail your time in bed. Sorry you have had to suffer so. Sending good thoughts your way.

[Psyched]

(((FeelingSad))) Sorry you're feeling sad. Thanks for your reply.
Pheonix47baby- thanks for your reply, too. I have been seeing Pdocs since the age of 14, & I'm now 43. That's a lot of Pdocs. And while some of them sucked, many of them were really good. I just think that I'm a rare case, & no one really knows what to do w/ me, especially since I don't respond well to meds. And sometimes, I don't even think they know all there is to know yet; for instance, now we're just finding out about Bipolar NOS. What exactly is that? I was really hoping that maybe there was someone out there who could identify w/ my symptoms & let me know if they think I really am Bipolar 2. I'd be really interested to "talk" about this w/ them. Glad you're feeling cheerful today!

[lonegael]

Hi and welcome! You know, since I haven't seen you I can't diagnose you Sounds like you might be, so see someone who can give you a legit diagnosis and more help than I can. You know, I think that a lot of medications have changed a bit over the years, and a new Pdoc might be more aware of new treatment guideines for Bipolar. Those actually have changed a bit with the newer meds. Good luck, dear, and I wish you a margin of peace at least. Please let us know how it's going!