[Vampi]

This is something my husband and I argue about. He says I shouldn't try to find labels for everything that goes on with me, yet I feel that if I can put a label on it, then it somehow makes me feel better. Any thoughts?

[BNLsMOM]

I am always looking for a name for what I am going through. I know that it really only matters what treatment I have and if it is working, but I obsessively try to find out exactly what is going on with me. It makes me feel better if I can name it. If I can name it, I can own it and then I can begin to heal.

That's a good point, BNLsMOM, that it's not so much the label as effective treatment and I agree. That said, I do find labels helpful (to a point at least). For 30 years, I was pretty well constantly berating myself for all kinds of things. After finally being accurately diagnosed, it was a relief of sorts. Finally, there was a name for the way I experienced life and it wasn't just me being inadequate or weak. Looking back, it was so obvious, except that I didn't know anything about bipolar, so thought that all the symptoms I experienced were just personal failings. You know, like, "why can't I just get it together?!" Well, because it's hard to get a nice steady equilibrium when you can't get off the rollercoaster because you don't realize it's a rollercoaster(!) I mean, you kind of do (when you keep plummeting into depression, you know it's not an even road and when you're hypomanic, all you can think is, "if I could only be like this all the time, maybe I could accomplish something of substance!"), but it's like beating yourself up over not being the driver/in control, when in fact you can't when undiagnosed (ie. having a label for it) and unmedicated.

So labels are good for forgiving oneself (it doesn't change the past, but it does help explain it...) and understanding how to deal with it and have a clue what's going on once in awhile(!) The downside is when people try to define you by it, especially when they're misinformed. Still, after so many many years of suffering, I'm glad there is a name that explains my wiring, you know?

(Hehe, apparently not concise today! Sorry for the ramble....)

[liljamie23]

i agree, i like to have a name for things. although if i don't agree with the name i'm given i won't accept it or acknowlege it at all.

[poisonivy81]

Originally Posted by Vampi

This is something my husband and I argue about. He says I shouldn't try to find labels for everything that goes on with me, yet I feel that if I can put a label on it, then it somehow makes me feel better. Any thoughts?

Labels help you figure out why you are the way that you are, and sometimes that can help you understand yourself better. I must have a diagnosis in order to fix me. Without labels, we are wandering blindlessly in the dark with no answers. Labels help you to realize that not everything is in your control so one should not feel guilt or beat themselves up. The 1st step to healing is acceptance of ones own flaws. You cant accept what you dont know. Keep looking for the answers that you are searching for. Also, once you have a label you can find similar people who suffer from the same thing, like this site, where you can find support and FINALLY people that understand what you are going thru. It makes you feel better cuz you realize that you are no longer alone in your struggles. Stay strong

[Goldylocks]

I like labels. When you know what the problem is then you know what steps you have to take to fix it.

Labels have become less and less important to me the further I get into my treatment. I've come to a place where, as long as the treatment is working, they can call me a baboon for all I care. It wasn't always that way. I wanted to pin it down, like I could conquer it. But my pdoc uses one label for insurance purposes, another when talking to me. My t uses a different label for insurance purposes in his office. Whatever.

What does matter to me is when other people use labels, that they actually use them accurately. There is a lot of "oh, she must be bipolar" being used as insults that I see around here between teenagers. I do what I can to educate and inform.

[Vampi]

Thank you very much, everyone! And I can't accuse anyone of babbling

[perpetuallysad]

I have this obsessive thing where I research something excessively, so labels for me can really be bad. My pdoc (because I agreed to his suggestions) did not give me a specific label for several years. Finally, only recently really, he did say that I was bipolar (among several other things). This label has been good in that it has helped me to take a better and more honest look at my life and past. Its bad because I am now obsessively thinking about the label, reading about the label, buying zillions of books about the label. I have been trying to control myself and at least not purchase any more books, but to be honest, even being on here and reading all the posts in the bipolar forum sort of feed into my obsession. I now know though, that the obsessiveness is part of the bipolar, so its kind of ironic in a weird sort of way that my obsessiveness led me to learn about my obsessiveness. Ag, sorry that was very circular.

So, I do want a label, but its not so good for me. I cannot see the forest (myself) for the trees (bipolar label).

[Vampi]

<I cannot see the forest (myself) for the trees (bipolar label).>

What an eliquent way to put it!

I can understand your doc's point of view and I can appreciate my husbands point of view. Sometimes, putting labels on ourselves causes us to focus on that label and be blind to anything else that could possibly be wrong. I do get that. But, like you and others have said, having that label of bipolar disorder has given me some insight into why I did things the way I did.

I was raised as one of Jehovah's Witnesses (and am currently working at going back) and always thought that deep down in my heart, I was just a bad person. I stole constantly. I was a pathological liar and I just couldn't stop doing either. I even turned myself in, twice, for stealing from my previous jobs. Even after turning myself in, I continued to steal from my present job (at that time)!

Having that label, freed me! Having post traumatic stress disorder added to it, helped! I'm not saying that it answered everything... or excused anything. I still have to take responsibility for my actions, no matter the motivation. But I at least knew that I wasn't a bad person, I just had to work harder against the impulses that came to mind.

[dogwood]

I belive labels are important.I lived with my bipolar being undiagnosed most of my life. Until we knew what to call it, it was just the elephant in the room. It was a demon that took over everyones lives lives till we knew what it was 3 years ago.

[missmoonshine]

In the beginning I was being treated for depression but I was getting worse and worse all I wanted was to know what is actually wrong with me eg a label for what I have. Whan the Doc first suggested bipolar I was pretty devastated, however knowing that what I had had a name, they could then treat my symptoms acordingly

[VickiesPath]

Labels are important to me under two conditions: first, I was misdiagnosed for 19 years and given the wrong medication for 19 years and therefore, never felt better for any consistent length of time for 19 years until one angel of a nurse practitioner bothered to look at my file which was five inches thick and actually read it. She said, I don't think you have major depression, I think you are bipolar, according to the pattern of behavior I see here. Consequently, we changed my medication and my life changed forever.

Second, I never, EVER pay any attention to what is put on the insurance forms regarding my diagnosis. Labels on insurance forms and labels used by insurance companies are a different language altogether. They mean nothing. They only mean what the insurance company say they mean. You have to know the language of the insurance company. The only label that matters is the one the doctor gives you in his office and, as a result, prescribes medication for you. The employees in the doctor's office know how to fill out the insurance papers so that they speak "insurance speak" and everyone gets paid and everyone's happy.

[Rebound]

A label is a tool which serves an important function. However, when misused there can be negative consequences. I choose to use labels to more effectively understand myself and better communicate, particularly with my pdoc. I use the internet to visit multiple websites to compare their writings, mostly in broad terms, of the particular labeled situation.

But this is only after speaking with my doctor. In a perfect world, I tell him what's going on, he makes a diagnosis, treatment begins. But in reality, we discuss the issues I'm having, he makes his best guess at a diagnosis and treatment, and I go home and see if the treatment works. Rinse, repeat. But I also choose to get second, third, sometimes 4th opinions via the web to see if anything seems uncharacteristic only so I can communicate that to my doc.

As far as the way I see myself goes, just as there is a spectrum of disorders ranging from chronic depression to psychosis, so too, do I see my own situation, and everyone's as fitting within the broader spectrum of disorders, a meta-disorder, each with our own special blend of characteristics. In that regard, I don't care what name you want to give it.

I agree with the rest, good for organizing and research, bad for the tendency to focus on the label rather than what it represents.

[Vampi]

Thank you very much, everyone!