[gravyyy]

So for real, I don't know if I can do this. I'm so darn frustrated. I haven't been able to sleep in 2 months really (the longest consecutive sleep I have had was 4 hours in that time period). I started a new job so I'm trying to be "normal" there so no one knows what's going on with me. I have seen the new pdoc 2 times and he's very nice and very patient and very engaging and seems genuinely concerned about fixing my issues.

I'm already taking Lithium and Synthroid, and last week he started me on Wellbutrin SR to try to lift me out of depression and trazodone for sleep (told me to play with the dose to find one that works). Well I started with 50mg and it didn't help me to sleep much but it did make me really dizzy all day (I was literally falling down in my patient's houses) and has made my hand tremors worse to where I can hardly hold a glass at times. I called yesterday to leave a message for the doc. SOmeone was supposed to get back to me but they probably won't. I'm going to have to play with my meds on my own again.

The problem is I don't know how much more I can do. I am completely miserable. I have had more sui thought and urges in the past week or so than I can remember (though my memory is so scattered). I just don't feel like myself and even trying to get out of bed in the morning is a horrendous effort. I have been working for the past 14 days straight and may not get a day off until next Saturday (thought sometimes I'm home by 2pm if I see patients quickly). Ugh... I don't really need anything but I just wanted to vent. I know many of you can understand what I'm saying and that always seems to be helpful.

Don't take the trazadone until about an hour before you want to go to bed. I think I took 150mg when I was on it. Just increase 50mg at a time. Maybe it will help at a higher dose, but again, don't take it until before bedtime.

[BNLsMOM]

I understand where you're coming from. I have had these feelings many times. I still get frustrated because I have tried so many meds with little to no positive effect.

I guess all we can do is keep trying. Something has to work...

[gravyyy]

Yeah Farmer... I take 25mg about 30 minutes before bed. It doesn't work that well for me and the side effects are killing me.

Thanks BNL... Something's gotta give you would think. I don't expect everything to be perfect but I want to feel like me again. I'm so darn tired.

[perpetuallysad]

Hugs to you gravy. I'm sorry about no sleep. That can be one of the most frustrating things on earth. I hate the yo-yo the medicines cause. If I don't take a ton of meds, I stay awake constantly, if I take the meds I am like a fricken zombie all of the time. Its a no win situation. BUT I know that having sleep is the better of the two situations. I know everyone's really anti benzos but have you tried xanax for sleep? It really helps me, I don't know that it really puts me to sleep, but it helps relax me a lot and that's what usually keeps me awake, the tightly strung feeling.

Sorry, that was a way long response. Hope you feel better soon. Maybe the pdoc will call you soon.

[Ascension]

Yeah not sleeping can be such a big trigger. So much depends on sleep. I am on Seroquel, which has been a blessing for me. I also take Xanax at bed times because I have such bad nightmares and terrors. But there were years where it felt like I was just napping a time or two a day and I was a frazzled mess. I hope you find what works for you.

Sorry everything is so difficult now, gravyyy.

[gravyyy]

Well the doc finally called back tonight when I was at a patient's house (of course). I stepped outside but didn't have time to tell him what was going on. Told him the trazodone isnt working and has ugly side effects. He was very nice and said "oohh... yeah... it doesn't sound like the right med for you." He is supposed to call in Restoril (temazepam) tomorrow for me. God I hope this works! I see T tomorrow, I can tell her everything else. Thanks everyone for your support

[Ascension]

Thank you for keeping us posted. I hope you get a little relief with your new changes.

[lonegael]

Hang in there Gravvy. I know from experience that although I have tried, and flet like doing it, I have never truly managed to crawl out of my skin. I need a man to come unzip the back Jokes aside, it's an awefull feeling and i am so glad to hear that you finally got through to him. So proud of how you are managing this and the new job. Huggs