[qwertyyy]

Hello,

My name is Chris and I'm 25 years old. My mom is Bipolar and she's currently in the hospital. This is her 14th stay in the hospital for Bipolar. She's in her early sixties.(I just realized that I don't know her exact age and I'm quite embarrassed) I'm her only family and we've become very close the past few years. She's been clean and sober for 25 years and she goes to AA.

My mom and dad got divorced about five years ago and this is her third hospitalization since their divorce. She's been in deep depression since the divorce other then the 'manic episodes'. I noticed it was getting pretty bad about a month ago. I called her doctor and made an appointment.. A few days before her appointment, it got so bad(she broke her toilet, threw away all chemicals/cleaners/soap, tore up some family photos, stabbing stuff with a knife, along with delusions and a lot of other strange behavior) that I convinced her to go to the hospital.

She went into the hospital voluntarily a little over two weeks ago and I am very scared now because she has gotten much worse and is currently on a 72 hour hold locked in a rubber room. In the past I seem to remember her hospital stays lasting a week or two and she'd come out noticeably better. It's been over two weeks now and this is by far the worst I've ever seen her in my life.

The first week-and-a-half I visited her everyday and didn't really seem to notice any change in her. It was pretty bad, but it was essentially the same stuff I'd seen every time in the past. Then she was moved to another hospital and I ended up not visiting her for two days. The first day I visited her there I was absolutely shocked. She didn't even recognize me and she ALWAYS has in the past. She was talking gibberish and I could just tell that something was very wrong and this was much worse/different than anything I'd seen in the past.

Since that day she has gotten even worse and has suddenly become violent. She has attacked nurses, spit on nurses and apparently she became so violent that they were forced to hold her down and inject her with tranquilizers and lock her in the safe room. She is very angry and she screams and curses a lot. She has NEVER been violent in the past in or out of the hospital and she never swears. She also flushed her upper dentures down the toilet and is now very embarrassed about it and covering her mouth with her hand.

I visited her today after they let her out of the safe room and she is totally insane(for lack of a better term) talking gibberish and screaming swear words. I could only handle maybe 5-10 minutes of seeing her like this and in that 5-10 minutes she had the fastest, most extreme mood swings that I'd ever seen in my life. She went from screaming every swear word imaginable at me and telling me to get out, to talking gibberish, to thanking me for visiting her back and forth in a matter of seconds.

I am absolutely overwhelmed by the past few days and I just don't know what to do. My biggest concern is that this is some form of dementia and not just her Bipolar. How can they tell though without an MRI/CT/PET/? that she won't allow to be done? Could this sudden extreme change still be 'just' her Bipolar? Has anyone had any experience with a situation similar to this one? What can I do? I feel like I'm losing my mom and I just can't handle it.

Thanks a lot for reading this.

[BNLsMOM]

I am sorry your mom is going through this. It is obviously bery hard on you as well. Have you been able to talk to her doctor in the hospital about what is going on? Her doctor is going to be the best resource for info.

[Bat Mom]

Hi Quertyyy.

I am so sorry to hear about your Mom. I think you need to meet with the Doctors there and find out what their treatment plan is and share with them your observations. You know your Mom, they do not. Your insights would be very valuable for them to consider to figure out what is going on. There may have been a meds change or she may be refusing meds, or there is some medical problem that is complicating things.

I have been actively reading the posts but not responding but your story is just too compelling to not respond. In any hospital everyone needs an advocate, you can be that advocate for her. If you cannot get to the doctor right away, then make an appointment with her social worker and make your thoughts known. They are there to help you and her. Besides, the whole mental health system is just too complicated to navigate alone.

Best of luck to both you and your Mom.

[Anneinside]

I agree with BNLsMOM. As much as we would love to help you with knowing what is happening, only her doctor could tell you that. For now, just be glad that she is in a safe environment.

[daisychic]

Im sorry to hear about your mother. I dont have any suggestion other than the above post about communicating with her doctor closely. I am always having to take care and watch my mother because of her behaviors and mood swings. Its hard to watch somtimes. I just wanted to send some hope and love your way. Stay strong I hope things get better.

[gravyyy]

It'd be a little bit odd for her symptoms to be due to dementia given her age and the sudden change in her mental status. More likely it's related to her mental illness. There is such a term as the 'kindling effect' which basically says each bipolar episode gets more severe and lasts a longer period of time. There of course is debate about this but it's becoming more universally accepted. That being said, based on the info you typed about your mom, I would be shocked if her mental status is due to dementia (and there really isn't any imaging that would be tremendously helpful to tell). Typically in these cases, they try to make the patient better and see what the person is like after they're under better control. At that point it may become clear whether it's dementia vs. mental illness (or both).

Maybe you could talk to your mom's social worker in the hospital and set up a family meeting to discuss her treatment with the whole treatment team (social worker, nurse, doctor). They would be your best bet to figure out what needs to be done, like the others have suggested.

Good luck with this situation. Hopefully your mom will show some improement shortly. Hang in there!

I would definitely ask for a meeting with her psychiatrist, social worker, nurse and see what they have planned for her treatment. This does sound like bipolar. I've been hospitalized numerous times and have seen similar behaviors in other bipolar patients.

[JourneyUpward]

Hi Quertyyy,

I am so sorry about your mom and all your pain. I definitely agree with the others. Meet with her care team and bring your list of questions. I find if I don't bring my list I forget half of the questions I want to ask my doctor or counselor. Yes, I'm bipolar too.
I wish you and your mom all the best and hope for quick recovery.
JourneyUpward

[dj586858]

I am so sorry you and your mom are going through such a horrible time! Your mom is in no shape to speak for herself or take part in her treatment. Apparently she is not getting the right treatment for her which, unfortunately, can take a lot of experimentation. I think you should find out as much as you can about her diagnosis and what they think is going on. Take as big a part in the decisions for her care as you can. I am not sure how it works when a person is no longer competent to make decisions for herself but you should have a say I would think. And don't forget to get you help with coping too. This is not something you should have to handle alone. I will say a prayer for you and your mom tonight.

[Skully]

Build a good relationship with her doctor and work with the doctor on a treatment plan. Stay informed of what is going on with her care. But, only her doctor will really know what to do.

[BearForever]

as much as I really want to give you some of advice, i think only the doctors will really know what to do.