[caring_whiterose]

I have been diagnosed with bi polar disorder, post traumatic stress disorder, anxiety disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, borderline personality disorder, an eating disorder and suicidal. I also self injure, get panic attacks, and I am survivor of rape. I have some health issues too, irritable bowl syndrome and horrible acid reflux.

Most of time I just make jokes and light of what I have it helps me to get through but when I start thinking it gets bad. I am on meds to help but my moods still change everyday for no reason. I have accepted I will have Bi Polar forever and most of my problems. I guess what I am trying to say it sucks and I will be fighting for the rest of my life. I try to be strong but I dont think I am. I have no self-esteem. I know that is something that will get better but the othe things I have to deal with. I do have a T and I need to make another appt. I know about coping methods but the doesn't make the disease go away. It is very lonely like and empty hole to know I will be like this forever.......and that is all that can be said......not much hope....

[perpetuallysad]

((((caring whiterose))))

Sometimes it does seem like this will all suck forever. I feel like that right now actually. But I know all of the wise people on here have to be right when they say that this will pass and eventually we will find some balance and peace. Hopefully they are right.

I am working on coping methods too. I hope these help you. Maybe you could share some of your ideas?

[jennaorgana]

hugs from me caring.... a million times over.

[caring_whiterose]

See the thing is it wont pass, Bi Polar noramally doesn't go away and a lot of the other stuff I have, so you see it wont get better. I normally come on here, draw, makes joke, I dont know really anything to get my mind off it but it will be there anyways. I am sorry I am not very helpful right now.

(((((((((((((jenna))))))))))))))

Originally Posted by perpetuallysad

((((caring whiterose))))

Sometimes it does seem like this will all suck forever. I feel like that right now actually. But I know all of the wise people on here have to be right when they say that this will pass and eventually we will find some balance and peace. Hopefully they are right.

I am working on coping methods too. I hope these help you. Maybe you could share some of your ideas?

[perpetuallysad]

I don't suffer from all of the same things as you, but I am bipolar too. Believe me, I know it sucks, I really, really do. I am struggling desperately right now, so I know where you are coming from. But I have got to believe that it will somehow get better. It has to. If I accept that things will never change I'll have no hope left.

[caring_whiterose]

As, I said I am not much help right now(not being mean). There is now way to get rid of it and that is hard for me.

Originally Posted by perpetuallysad

I don't suffer from all of the same things as you, but I am bipolar too. Believe me, I know it sucks, I really, really do. I am struggling desperately right now, so I know where you are coming from. But I have got to believe that it will somehow get better. It has to. If I accept that things will never change I'll have no hope left.

[gravyyy]

caring, I don't think PS is trying to say you're going to ever be cured (clearly that's not likely, not your fsult but it's usually a life long illness). What she's saying is that the bipolar portion of your diagnoses comes and goes in intensity. It seems like right now you're feeling negative, overwhelmed, and frustrated. But the cyclical nature of the illness is that you won't always feel as poorly as you do right now. You will eventually fell better as far as your immediate mood (true you may again feel bad in the future, but the key is that you won't feel like you do right now today forever and ever). I think her point, or at least my point, is that it's like a roller coaster and right now your at the very bottom or near the bottom of the big hill but eventually the coaster will start back up again. it's just the way it is and probably the way it will always be. It's hard to believe that when you feel like you feel now but things always come around... eventually. Hang in there!!!!! I'll be sending you positive thoughts!

[caring_whiterose]

Thank you. This is the weird thing though. I dont feel like I am in a bad mood. I just feel like I am saying as it is. (It sounds like when I type everything is coming out mean but it is not suposed to be.)

Originally Posted by gravyyy

caring, I don't think PS is trying to say you're going to ever be cured (clearly that's not likely, not your fsult but it's usually a life long illness). What she's saying is that the bipolar portion of your diagnoses comes and goes in intensity. It seems like right now you're feeling negative, overwhelmed, and frustrated. But the cyclical nature of the illness is that you won't always feel as poorly as you do right now. You will eventually fell better as far as your immediate mood (true you may again feel bad in the future, but the key is that you won't feel like you do right now today forever and ever). I think her point, or at least my point, is that it's like a roller coaster and right now your at the very bottom or near the bottom of the big hill but eventually the coaster will start back up again. it's just the way it is and probably the way it will always be. It's hard to believe that when you feel like you feel now but things always come around... eventually. Hang in there!!!!! I'll be sending you positive thoughts!

[caring_whiterose]

I dont know. I dont think I explained my self well about this......

[FeelingHopeful]

Im sending you all big hugs and my love.

[dogwood]

Sorry about your "full plate".Keep on relying on the support of others and stay under medical care. It will get better. Hugs

[gravyyy]

I didn't think you were being mean in any of your posts... it seems more like you're just frustrated with the process. I think you explained yourself well. It's hard to make abstract thoughts concrete enough to type them in a post, but I think you did well!! Again, it's a process and even though it sucks, it's most likely that it will continue for the rest of your life. That's just the black and white of it. I often have to tell myself the same thing, but it doesn't necessarily make it any easier.

[Fox]

{hugs our sweet rose}

[dj586858]

You definitely have a lot of challenges, many more than most, but look at you - surviving in spite of it all!!! That makes you a very strong soul in my book. Now you just need to get the help you deserve, which does not mean you are weak - we all need help with something. Bipolar disorder is a lifelong illness but it can be treated and you can be happy again.

[caring_whiterose]

I normally have a huge breakdown then i am fine for a while, then breakdown then fine, etc.