Help me understand...

My Brother (so he tells me) has been diagnosed with Bipolar disease.
And I am hoping someone can help me understand, or help me explain to him, why I don't think it is appropriate to blame all the wrong decisions he makes in life on his disease.

He is a 3 time convicted felon for stealing money from 3 different churches where he worked as a minister. In October of 2009 he stole my mom's business Mac/Visa card and charged over 5,000 dollars worth of things that he can produce for her to return. While he said he was going to repay them, he has yet to give them a single penny.

He got caught because my mom noticed some strange charges on her bank card.

My mom call my brother and ask him if he had see her bank card at the shop, of course he lied and mom had already canceled the card. He got caught cause he tried to use it.

My parents, against my better judgement, didn't put him in jail or press charges, mostly I think because they are embarassed.

My Sister in Law says that I am not being understanding enough of my brother's disease. She says that I need to support him more through it. Look, if I did what he did, my *** would be in jail, PERIOD END.

I personally think my sister in law is the true problem. Instead of making my brother be responsible for his own actions and pay the consequenses, she baby's him and lies for him, and blames it all on his Bipolar disease.

He is supposed under a doctor's care and taking medicine, but I have no proof of that.

The sadest part here is what their kids learn, to be rude, to think everything is theirs for the taking (often things are missing after they visit), and that "Everyone is against them". No one in My Brother's family takes responsibility for their actions. It is always, the disease.

Maybe I should let you know that I am familiar with Bipolar, my husband has it, my co-worker has it, and the Treasurer of my Local Union has it. They all, for the most part function well in society, occassionally the have a, as we call them "weird" day, usually because of forgotten meds or meds changes. They are all honest and open about their disease and take FULL responsibility for their actions.

I just need some insight before I totally write my brother and his family out of my life.

Hello,
All I can do is tell you of my own life, I have had BPD for almost 20 years. I have had my problems, but never has any one or any little voice telling me to do evil. it is an emotional disorder. ont a good or evil problem. stealing in my opinion has nothing to do with BPD we are what we are. From what you said about him it would seem he is using his BPD (if indeed thats what he has,) as a tool to get away with something a "sane" person never would.

Just my opinion

Shadowman

You can do some stupid things when manic but illegal things are not part of bipolar. I have had bipolar most of my life and have spent too much money when manic but I never did anything illegal. Bipolar does not make you steal or break any law. What you do, even though bipolar, is your responsibility. Bipolar is not excuse.

However, this seems to be a pattern behavior (stealing) along with not taking responsibility for one's actions (the whole family) and you are not going to be able to change them. They have to bear the burden of their actions before they will want to change.

Kleptomania is definitely a disease and can manifest with bipolar disorder, but is mostly seen as a symptom of OCD, and can be associated with traumatic brain injury. In any case it should be brought to the attention of his Psych. I'm biplor and have a hoarding compulsion which has left my house almost unlivable. These diseases are not of the rational mind and should not be used as excuses for antisocial behavior.........but they are real...........

Illegal activities are not part of bpd. It bothers me how many illegal actions of people are blamed on this disease. Running up his own credit cards, using his own money unwisely would be a symptom of the disease, but to steal from others is just bad behavior and needs to be punished by law. It does sound like his behavior is being enabled by his family.