[grizmom]

My cousin and I just recently got in touch again; we haven't talked since grade school and we found out that we have a lot in common (although her disability is physical) so we have been talking more...and venting a lot LOL! She doesn't really understand what bipolar is though, so I did find a few websites to send to her that she could look at, but I couldn't find any that had more than just the "basics", i.e. what the symptoms of depression are, what the symptoms of mania and hypomania are, the fact that we swing between those moods, and that it is a chemical imbalance. I found one that talked about the irritability and anxiety in addition to the other things.

But it really ticked me off that I could not find any that talked about the other things, like how any kind of stress affects us negatively, how we can still be triggered into episodes even with medication, how we actually feel when we are depressed or manic or hypomanic (the symptoms don't really explain what we actually go through), how something as simple as a too much sunlight or too little sunlight can affect our moods, etc. I know there are books available, but I haven't read any of them and I don't want to buy something brand new if I don't know if it will actually help people understand, plus I don't expect anyone to read a whole book just to understand what the illness is!

So I was thinking...I keep a blog (or try to, I don't write in it as much as I would like to) and I was wondering if anyone would be willing to respond here and give some feedback on how bipolar affects you personally, and I could add a kind of bipolar info post in my blog (I would start by saying "In this post, I have asked people who have bipolar to explain how their illness affects them personally. I have not included any names or any personal information about these people.). When I get it posted, I could put the link to it here, and then if anyone wants to direct someone to that post they would be able to, and maybe we can get more info out there for people who do want to know more than the basics. It's just an idea, I thought it might be helpful, but if you don't want to that's okay too.

Thanks!

[Fire_Star]

Sounds like a good idea. I'm having the same problem - can't find the information I want. Most sites and books only go over the a list of symptoms but don't really put it into context for someone that hasn't experienced it so I'm like ARGGGHHH! Though apparently the dummies book is quite a good intro one. I haven't had a chance to read it. I'm currently reading 'Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder' which does have a bit of the other stuff I was after but overall, I'm not sure what it is but the book annoys me. Maybe because I think alt meds is a scam and she promotes it here and there (not as a replacement to meds but still). But as it's orientated for relationships it does discuss how we feel, how triggers can be handled and how our behaviour can be linked to bipolar disorder more often than an onlooker may realised. Some people really like this book, I think it's okay so far.

I just woke up - I'll reply later if I can think more straight then with something that might help you with your blog. :-)

[FeelingHopeful]

I think its a wonderful idea!! Im trying to learn all I can about this illness and this would be a wonderful thing to help both people who suffer from bipolar and loved ones who are trying to understand it better. Great Great Idea!!

[phlashback]

I support that, most things I have read seem to miss exactly what you said. I have been keeping a journal of sorts. I have considered creating a blog myself and publish some of my journal entries. Some times I am afraid to let people know just how scary some of my thoughts have been... I am especially afraid of being judged and that holds me back.

Go figure.

[grizmom]

Thanks for the support everyone! I do hope some of you will participate and write about some of the things that you wish people understood about having bipolar! I'm looking forward to getting them posted in the blog, and like I said, NO personal info will be given, not even your gender

[RRU96]

Having Bipolar, I dont know near as much as I could. I have a wife who is currently dealing with me and my moods until I can get back on my meds. I did have an interesting conversation with her last night. I try to talk to her alot more now, so she understands what is going on in my head.

I felt somewhat happy with a quick little description that I came up with. Not having a current pdoc or T to speak with, I am unsure how much of this is bipolar, and how much are other things as of yet undiagnosed. To me, Bipolar is like a really fancy restaraunt. You sit down for your first of many many courses. I tell the waitress what I cannot have, and then out comes course 1. I really enjoy what they bring out, to the extent that I completly engross myself into it. Everything about this particular course is amazing, I love everything about it, I try to figure out how I can make it at home. Before I am able to finish this, the waitress comes by and removes my plate and brings out course 2. Perturbed, I go ahead and dive right into this second course, only to find out that she put tomatoes. Something that pisses me off to no end. I chew the waitress out that brought it to me, pissing her off and making her cry, only to find out, she wasnt the one who took my initial order. I simply jumped the gun and took out my anger on someone who..... oh look... Course 3. This is the best course I have had yet. The meat is so tender, I wonder if maybe I should pan fry this, but maybe if I baked it I might not be able to get it as moist. Wrapping myself around this fantastic feast, I get interupted again, by the latest and greatest course 4. This time, its burnt. The waitress comes over and I get snobby with her even though she didnt cook the food, and once again, have succeeded in pissing off someone who doesnt deserve it. So before I know it, Out comes the next course. This course means to much to me. It may have been something that I remember from my childhood. The way my mom used to make slices of bread, covered with peanut butter and sugar. Of course, thinking about this, causes me to remember the reasons my mom may have made that. The struggles my mom was facing at that time in her life, but still finding a way to feed me. Upsetting, I simply run out of the restaraunt. Locking myself away in the car. My wife pleading with me that she needs a ride home. All the time, trying to find out a way to open me up, get me to unlock the doors so that I can let her inside my emotional vehicle. Eventually, I fall and decide to open the doors. We drive around, working out my issues I had, and where do we end up? Another fancy restaraunt. Sitting down for course 1, I fall in love with the food and start the cycle over again.

I am sorry if this is not what you may be going after. Its just... something that seemed to make sense to me last night when I was telling this to my wife.

[Julial]

I have not been formally diagnosed but there are some things I may be able to throw in. I don't know how to sleep, I don't know how to control my anger, I don't know how to always socialize because it's tiresome, I don't do my favorite things, my body hums when the mania sets in, I can't get out of bed, I can't get in bed, I forget to eat, I don't want to eat, I won't exercise, I have great ideas that never go anywhere, I don't always remember where I have been, I don't always remember what I bought at the store, I wonder why I buy some of the things that I do, I sometimes can't stand to be touched, I usually cannot tolerate loud noises, especially tv, I tell people what to do with their life, I always have to be right, sometimes I talk way too much, sometimes I don't talk at all and I could go on and on. It is hard to explain to others especially because of my shame and frustration. Thanks for letting share.

[Anneinside]

One of the best book explaining how you can feel when you are bipolar is An Unquiet Mind by Kay Jamison Redfield. For a book on facts, the one I like is Bipolar for Dummies.

[phlashback]

Building up to a climax that never comes. Falling to despair as you obsess with the failure. Knowing that she is listening to your thoughts, and convinced you know hers. Standing up, and never saying a word depressed that she crossed the room, knowing it is your repulsiveness. Convinced she saw the darkest secret you think is real. But I am superman, and can do anything... however I am tired, and want nothing to do with the world. I hate myself, I am a horrible person. I can't slow down, my thoughts race with images, voices.. altered perception. Drugs, straight jacket, chemical shackles. Lock me up.. hold me down. I am afraid.

Everything is good now. I'm on top of the world. I am going to be the first one to walk on Mars. The program is just waiting to bring me in, I should train. Exercise, clean, move, destroy, slipping darkness. I can control your mind. Do what I want, damn you for not doing what I need to have done. I hate you, and cant live without you.

What was I thinking. I feel normal, not over or under. I don't need meds anymore.

[musikcrazy]

One of my favorite ways to share how Bipolar affects so many aspects of our lives is to give people the book Breaking the Bipolar Cycle. It does a good job of showing how BP affects us.

[grizmom]

Thanks everyone who was willing to give a description of bipolar in your own words. I did put up a post, and I can edit it and add more if anyone else wants to add anything. Here is the direct link to that post: http://jennikj.blogspot.com/2010/03/...f-bipolar.html