[daisychic]

Oh where to start...My oldest son(HC) is bipolar,ocd and odd. He was diagnosed about seven years ago. My parents,some friends and boyfriend all were slow to understand and accept this diagnosis. It was only after living with me and my son that they got it. While living with it they finally got it. Now his father still doesnt really get it. He sees him every other weekend and this is been regularly the past say three years. HC tries to keep his issues from his father and does a good job of it.

Now my youngest son(AT) from different father has been showing signs of similar issues as his brother. Being that Ive already been down this path with other son I was quick to jump on dealing with this. Started counseling with psychologist. AT's dad has never bought diagnosis of my other son, you know he thinks he needs a male role model and more decipline. So I wanted to include father in counseling. I thought he might gain some knowledge and maybe some insight into whats happening with this process. And also if AT is indeed bp or needs meds Id be closer to having him on board. Well AT got worse. He became physical with me wished me dead, had tantrums that lasted hours, and more. It seemed to be the best idea to let him go live with dad. I would have some time to regroup and AT would be able to regroup as well. And I figured dad would get to see first hand what is goin on day to day with son. Well dad doesnt get the same behavior I do. Well he gets some of it but dismisses it as nothing. But like with my other son he tries to keep it from dad.

How can this be so. How can they both manage to mostly keep these behaviors from their fathers? How come I get the worst of it?

[lonegael]

It might be that something you don't really know you do might trigger it. It could be anything from trying to manage their problems to some wierd idea they get when they are manic. People tend to act out more around the peoplethey feel most secure with, o this is also something to think about. How is it with teachers, other adults, etc?

[BNLsMOM]

It may be that they feel safest with you. I hid my bipolar behavior from everyone for years. It is only with the people that I trust that I let down my guard.

I do hope things work out for you.

[mamaJenof5]

They are right I always seem to beable to hide my BD from the people not closest to me. Which is not fair for my loved ones but thats just the way it is

[phlashback]

I hid my diagnosis for a year before disclosing it to my family (with the exception of my brother). I did a good job of it, and always had a good excuse. They did not understand at first, but once they had an oportunity to reflect on the past they asked how it was missed.

I never wanted to hurt my family, but at the same time I never let them help either. My dad was the hardest to tell, mainly becasue I always saw him as person who could manage it all, and I did not want to be a dissapointment.

Hang in, and I suspect that you are probibly where they are most secure. Especialy since dad does not get it. Which is no surprise in my book.

Good luck, and listen to what your children are trying to say by acting out.

I wish you well.