[WendyAussie]

I'm very isolated because of my illnesses and I have lost everything in life I valued such as career, my home, family and friends who either bailed on me because of my illnesses or I bailed on them as they wouldn't get help for their own addictions and mental illnesses (I'm 100% proactive in my 11 years recovery in AA and also my mental health). I also lost my long-term passions and interests. I am fully engaged in trying to re-engage with the community, but it's one step forward two steps back.

I'm going through a terrible time with sleep - both Insomnia and sleep apnea (related but distinct conditions). And when I'm in Sleep Deficit my mental illnesses just go into overdrive.

And while we all have various life issues on a the boil at a given time, I do have two issues which are really big and which I feel are pushing me to the point of coming unstuck - here comes yet another breakdown!! How many of those can one fit into a lifetime?? Seems it's a infinite number.

I am on a disability pension due to my illnesses and as I mentioned above, I lost my house due to my illness and longterm mis-prescribing by psychs. I am waiting on the outcome of a major financial issue and it has implications for the rest of my life, especially as I may never work again. I use all my AA tools like, "One Day at aTime", and congitive diffusion techniques, but the fact is I'm human and with little social support and a lot of hours in the day, of course I worry.

Last year I tried to go back to my career but I can't do it anymore. So I am doing a Uni course this year. I have been trying to get enrolled since December and it has simply been and EPIC NIGHTMARE of bueracratic bumbling and mis-management, including cancelling the mode of study I was going to do at the last minute - and this was to have been to a remote location hundres of kilometres away on campus, so like other students, I made complex arrangements and it was a real disaster. I'm now going off campus and have practically been begging them to get me enrolled so I can get going. Well I am enrolled now and unfortunately they didn't tell me that this mode has me doing the first two term's subjects concurrently rather than consequutively which is what I signed up for - that's a big difference for me - I don't even know if I'll cope with one sibject at a time let alone two.

I feel so lost and useless. I am so devastatingly lonely due to my mental illnesses and that is not through any fault of my own. I am slipping into real hopelessness again. No-one in my life such as my psychiatrist or psychologist or GP can fix these things for me - I know I have to handle them as best I can. Having lost a fantastic career and the house, and the opportunity to have children due to the years chewed up by addiction, mental illness and the terrible mis-prescribing, I really only have simple hopes and dreams now, but I can't even get them happening.

[leah0306]

Originally Posted by WendyAussie

I'm very isolated because of my illnesses and I have lost everything in life I valued such as career, my home, family and friends who either bailed on me because of my illnesses or I bailed on them as they wouldn't get help for their own addictions and mental illnesses (I'm 100% proactive in my 11 years recovery in AA and also my mental health). I also lost my long-term passions and interests. I am fully engaged in trying to re-engage with the community, but it's one step forward two steps back.

I'm going through a terrible time with sleep - both Insomnia and sleep apnea (related but distinct conditions). And when I'm in Sleep Deficit my mental illnesses just go into overdrive.

And while we all have various life issues on a the boil at a given time, I do have two issues which are really big and which I feel are pushing me to the point of coming unstuck - here comes yet another breakdown!! How many of those can one fit into a lifetime?? Seems it's a infinite number.

I am on a disability pension due to my illnesses and as I mentioned above, I lost my house due to my illness and longterm mis-prescribing by psychs. I am waiting on the outcome of a major financial issue and it has implications for the rest of my life, especially as I may never work again. I use all my AA tools like, "One Day at aTime", and congitive diffusion techniques, but the fact is I'm human and with little social support and a lot of hours in the day, of course I worry.

Last year I tried to go back to my career but I can't do it anymore. So I am doing a Uni course this year. I have been trying to get enrolled since December and it has simply been and EPIC NIGHTMARE of bueracratic bumbling and mis-management, including cancelling the mode of study I was going to do at the last minute - and this was to have been to a remote location hundres of kilometres away on campus, so like other students, I made complex arrangements and it was a real disaster. I'm now going off campus and have practically been begging them to get me enrolled so I can get going. Well I am enrolled now and unfortunately they didn't tell me that this mode has me doing the first two term's subjects concurrently rather than consequutively which is what I signed up for - that's a big difference for me - I don't even know if I'll cope with one sibject at a time let alone two.

I feel so lost and useless. I am so devastatingly lonely due to my mental illnesses and that is not through any fault of my own. I am slipping into real hopelessness again. No-one in my life such as my psychiatrist or psychologist or GP can fix these things for me - I know I have to handle them as best I can. Having lost a fantastic career and the house, and the opportunity to have children due to the years chewed up by addiction, mental illness and the terrible mis-prescribing, I really only have simple hopes and dreams now, but I can't even get them happening.

hi, hate to read all the turmoil your going thru, the mental illness issue is quite enough!! i too, am financially messed up, im not working and waiting for the appeals process for disability, i also have lupus, and it does add to the already existing anxiety,doesnt it? the waiting... i hope it all works out for you and keep us posted,okay?? wishing you the best, take care

[kadesgirl09]

i am so sorry to hear all that you are going through right now and i totally understand the loneliness. i can be surrounded by my inlaws and family and still feel isolated and alone. I do not feel alone on this site however so im glad you took the time to share here. I hope you achieve some hope and happiness in your life because you truley deserve it

[BNLsMOM]

Wendy, I understand. You have friends here and although we aren't face to face, we understand your pain.