[allme]

Hi guys,

WHAT AN AWFUL DAY TODAY.

I feel so sick and so misunderstood. So paranoid and hateful. Aggitated snappy.... inferior.

I hate myself right now for being so weak. I hate myself for being so pityful and needy.

I hate the burden I place on my husband, I hate the way I treat my friends when I am like this.

I swore I saw ppl looking over at me while talking,..... they, I think, were talking about me and I just wanted to shout at them if they had something to say SAY IT!

So I was at a high recently, bought a jacket that made me look like a hooker and items of clothing I would never wear unless on a high again. I was life and soul at the office and now dont want to speak with anybody actually I just want to be invisible.

Hubby is getting rather critical again which doesnt help.

Ok so from this feeling WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOopyyyyy again..........then dooooooown down down...... SCREAM!

I am going to draw a picture of how it feels. I will try and scan it here maybe?

Sometimes you feel like its never gonna end.... man I need to speak to doc about meds. He gave me rispiridone but didnt work so I didnt go back.

I REALLY NEED HELP BUT I FEEL LIKE THESE DAMN DOCTORS DONT HAVE A CLUE AND FEEL LIKE THEY DONT EVEN LISTEN OR CARE> MINE RUSHES ME AND CONSTANTLY LOOK AT HIS WATCH> NO WONDER I HAVENT BEEN BACK.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrr

[kadesgirl09]

hang in there... you really should try another doctor.. it always takes several medication attempts before finding the right combination... at least thats what it seems like to me... your not alone in this!

[leah0306]

Originally Posted by allme

Hi guys,

WHAT AN AWFUL DAY TODAY.

I feel so sick and so misunderstood. So paranoid and hateful. Aggitated snappy.... inferior.

I hate myself right now for being so weak. I hate myself for being so pityful and needy.

I hate the burden I place on my husband, I hate the way I treat my friends when I am like this.

I swore I saw ppl looking over at me while talking,..... they, I think, were talking about me and I just wanted to shout at them if they had something to say SAY IT!

So I was at a high recently, bought a jacket that made me look like a hooker and items of clothing I would never wear unless on a high again. I was life and soul at the office and now dont want to speak with anybody actually I just want to be invisible.

Hubby is getting rather critical again which doesnt help.

Ok so from this feeling WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOopyyyyy again..........then dooooooown down down...... SCREAM!

I am going to draw a picture of how it feels. I will try and scan it here maybe?

Sometimes you feel like its never gonna end.... man I need to speak to doc about meds. He gave me rispiridone but didnt work so I didnt go back.

I REALLY NEED HELP BUT I FEEL LIKE THESE DAMN DOCTORS DONT HAVE A CLUE AND FEEL LIKE THEY DONT EVEN LISTEN OR CARE> MINE RUSHES ME AND CONSTANTLY LOOK AT HIS WATCH> NO WONDER I HAVENT BEEN BACK.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrr

so sorry your feeling down, just thought id send youa , i can sympathize take care

[musikcrazy]

I know this ride is not fun. It sounds like a new pdoc is definitely in order. There are some good ones out there. Unfortunately you sometimes have to go see several before you find the right one. I know it's frustrating to try and find the right med. Sometimes you just don't want to deal with it. You can make it through this. I'm here if you need to talk.

[Lisa Michelle]

allme I relate TOTALLY about feeling like the doctors don't know what's going on! I notice you're in England, I have this thing about the NHS being **** when it comes to mental health... honestly I don't think doctors know enough about mental health.
I went to a diff doc (she's new) last week and she's trained in mental health and for the first time a doctor knew what she was talking about,s he even know about my medication without looking it up in a book!!

Anyway I was just gonna suggest to you, if you feel rushed, do yo know you can book a longer appointment? like, at my doctors each appointment is actually just 5 minutes! as if we can express everything that's going on in 5 minutes. maybe if we had an ingrowing toenail but not mental health problems! So anyway I recently found out you can request a double appointment (or just longer I'm not sure). So I saw my doc and it was 10 mins instead of 5. It did make a difference. It's still not long but it was much better and was able to DICUSS my meds rather than literally just going in and having a prescription printed off within 1 minute and then having to leave.

I relate so much to your ups and downs. I despair over it. But nobody listens. I'm only diagnosed depressed and eating disordered.

Hope things improve for you x

[allme]

Thanks guys

Yes Lisa, I totally agree... seriously I don't think they have a clue!