[leah0306]

I get sooo irratible during the evening, like really bad I dont seem to be able to control this at all. I deal with an anxiety disorder too, but still, every evening its worse, i can count on being this way around 4 oclock, and i HATE IT. I also am trying to stop self-injurying, (skin and scab picking ) which ive had a problem with for 15 years. Havent found a cedication that helps with this. tryed nearly everything...if anyone knows about/experiences this and has any tips or knows a med. that helps, PLEASE SHARE. i deal with the shame daily. i can no longer wear shorts, backless tops, and need heavy foundation to appear "regular". so embarassing to even admit this issue, but i have learned recently that there are quite a few people who do. so if any one here can lend any info that just might help would be hugely appreciated,......take care

[Anneinside]

You can work on stopping skin picking with a therapist. It is a compulsive behavior.

[musikcrazy]

I cut myself sometimes. It's a way to relaease pain. Therapy has been the best help for me as I don't think the meds can control it. I am sure they curb it, but they can't cure it. Sometimes I try to excercise when I want to cut. It helps get my mind off of it, but I know that sometimes you just can't help it. It's SO hard to do!!! I have made a lot of strides in the cutting area, and I think a lot of this is b/c of being accountable to a therapist. Take care of yourself. Posting helps.

[perpetuallysad]

I also tend to become very irritable in the evenings. I have an anxiety disorder as well and take xanax 3x daily for it, but the anxiety/irritability still builds up in the evening. I have no suggestions for help, but you are not alone.

[leah0306]

thanks for the support, the anxiety seems to be something we all deal with, i have a pdr. appt. on the 15 and i guess i will tell him, dread it cause its embarrasing to talk about but its such an isssue, thanks again for responding.....take care

[Dave255]

Try meditation. It helps to calm and relax me.

It might help, if you cut as a way to deal with stress and frustration.

[pondbc]

I am so like you in this behaviour, Leah. I also find it gets worse at night. And I choose clothes to hide scarring just like you. The area I target has shifted over the years...pretty soon I will run out of new places!
I believe I read that this behaviour is associated with having been 'picked on' by someone else. Now you do it to yourself, as you feel you somehow deserve it. This is certainly true in my case.
Please let me know if you get any more insight about this frustrating issue.

[Eloise42]

I was a major picker for over ten years, I still pick a little but not like the way I used to. It was like falling into the mirror. I didn't make a conscious big deal out of quitting, it just sort of happened gradually.

I realized that as I was doing it I was usually having particularly fixated, negative thoughts. And besides the aftermath of messed up skin I had just been rolling around in everything that made me feel bad.

Now the rule is only after I have JUST washed my hands and as soon as I start to notice that I'm thinking about something bad I realize I want to step away from going to that place.

What really helped was that when I left it alone my skin got SO much better. And I mean I really leave it alone. I abandoned my religious daily skin care regiment because most of those products actually irritate your skin (anything that you put on your face and causes "tingling" or any other sensation is actually irritating it). And the less I mess with it the better it is.

Anyway that was what helped me, and it had very much been a self-mutilating compulsion for a very long time. I stopped letting my thought process get obsessive and back away from the mirror.

I get tempted when I am looking at a mirror but when I realize that what I'm looking at is a major improvement, it's a pretty good incentive to keep moving.

[sugahorse1]

I don't SI, but i bite my nails and the skin around it. is that compulsive or just a bad habit?

[WendyAussie]

Like most Bipolars, I have Panic and Anxiety Disorders too. And I am definitely worse in the evening and I think, and my psychologist agrees, it's simply because we are more tired than when we've woken in the morning, and we've had a day to build up things to be stressed about. For some people, this is also a time when partner and children also converge together and they may be ratty too so the anxiety levels escalate. I don't have that issue, I am alone.

I have the picking issue too, it's very common. It's an OCD-style thing emanating from the Panic and Anxiety Disorders. Because I have so many other complex problems with the Bipolar and Panic and Anxiety Disorders, my psychiatrist and psychologist haven't wanted to spend the time on it, which is fair enough. I too have had the problem for decades. I bite the quicks on my fingers until they are shredded and they bleed - so much so over so many years that I have destroyed the nail base and my fingernails are deforned. I now get acrylic nails as that helps me stop biting and also helps with self esteem as we look down at our hands all day and it's awful - and people look at me biting and look at my hands and it feels so awful and shameful. I am on a Disability Pension so I have to use money from my savings to get my nails done but it is so worth it because of the self esteem issues.

I also have a terrible wound on my shin which I have created by this behaviour (no details, don't want to make people vomit). I've tried all sorts of lotions etc and asked my GP to help but he couldn't help me. But I realised I just can't stop myself from getting at it so only recently I came up with my own idea of dressing the wound every day so that I can't get at it and give it a chance to heal. So I put Solugel on it and then put a dressing and then one of those plastic films over it. The dressings cost a fortune so I won't be able to do it indefinitely but it has certainly started to heal after about 30 days of dressing it.

That idea may help you, I'm not sure.

[pondbc]

It's too bad we can't somehow all be together and help each other heal. Solidarity and support would go such a long way here. Isolation, embarrassment, shame are a big part of this. It would be so helpful to be around others that understand.