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#1
May 08, 2010, 08:28 PM
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I haven't been here in a long time. Too many things going on to go into ATM, but I will tell more in time.
Basically, I have just hit the rock bottom of depression. I seem to have super cycles (as I call them) about every 6-8 months. This has been one of the worst. I cycle more than that, but the BIG ones are 6-8 mos. On Wednesday I was feeling very low. Thank goodness my husband was there, is loving, caring and ever-so patient. I cannot tell the last time I had ever felt this low. We think that part of the issue might have been because I am weening off Norco from my surgery in March. Like, my cycles wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for that. IDK how true that is, but I believe it. My irritability is sky high...everything ticks me off right now. I have no patience, no self-esteem, anger, sadness and am just plain miserable. I don't want or feel like doing much of anything except for sleeping. I hate my job, I hate my life and I hate everything.....everything. I miss the highs, I really do. I miss feeling like I can conquer the world, be who I want to be, not care about anyone looking at me or what they are thinking, staying up til all hours of the night and being able to manage off of a couple hours of sleep.....accomplishing SOOOO much in such a short amount of time. Ok, enough Blah, Blah, Blah, It's nothing more than anyone else with Bipolar has dealt with....I just wanted to share....while I have the energy. No one has to worry because I am ok. I am not suicidal and I am not doing anything stupid. I just really needed a safe place to vent.
__________________
"The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open."  Don’t look where you fall, but where you slipped. 
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#2
May 08, 2010, 08:58 PM
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I hope you start feeling better soon!!
__________________
From the movie The Hours: "If I were thinking clearly, Leonard, I would tell you that I wrestle alone in the dark, in the deep dark, and that only I can know. Only I can understand my condition. You live with the threat, you tell me you live with the threat of my extinction. Leonard, I live with it too." My blog, "Life and Other Annoyances": http://jennikj.blogspot.com/  |
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#3
May 09, 2010, 05:07 AM
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Keep posting! You will make it through this!
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 onlymedid
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#4
May 09, 2010, 08:32 AM
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Quote:
__________________
"The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open." Don’t look where you fall, but where you slipped.
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#5
May 09, 2010, 08:38 AM
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My NP gave me a new med called Tenex(sp?) to help with the anxiety I have been feeling. I started smoking again, but only at work, because of my anxiety and stress level at work.
Anyways, I tried the med yesterday, but I felt more anxious, rather than less. It could have been a fluke and I am going to try it again today. I had some friends over for a bbq yesterday and had a great time....then I crashed when they left. I was in bed at about 6pm. I woke up early this morning and just want to go back to bed. I am so tired.
__________________
"The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open." Don’t look where you fall, but where you slipped.
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#6
May 09, 2010, 08:57 AM
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My thoughts are with you...hope things get better for you soon!
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#7
May 10, 2010, 01:04 PM
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please keep us updated. sorry your so low... just remember it will pass with time.
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#8
May 10, 2010, 02:46 PM
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I am thinking of you too. Sending a big hug to youk Take care of yourself
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#9
May 10, 2010, 06:37 PM
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Thanks everyone. I really appreciate the thoughts and hugs!
__________________
"The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open." Don’t look where you fall, but where you slipped.
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#10
May 11, 2010, 05:00 AM
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You are experienced in this and know it is just a phase. Be patient and surround yourself with positive people and things and let yourself ride it out - there will be an end to this downwards spiral. You are not alone
(HUG) |
| onlymedid
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#11
May 11, 2010, 06:30 AM
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Have you tried the new med a second time?
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#12
May 12, 2010, 05:50 PM
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Quote:
__________________
"The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open." Don’t look where you fall, but where you slipped.
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#13
May 13, 2010, 04:25 AM
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what meds are you taking? I'm on alprazolam - took 1 mg just now and no change. I need to get out of this depression and right now the depression and anxiety are fueling each other. I get so down I just want to clock out...
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#14
May 13, 2010, 06:21 AM
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The on she gave me is tenex, but it's supposed to be a blood pressure med that helps my anxiety. I know all about wanting to clock out!
__________________
"The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open." Don’t look where you fall, but where you slipped.
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