[grizmom]

Finally!! I start with my new therapist on Friday. My anxiety has been bad but I'm trying to ride it out and only use my anti-anxiety meds if I absolutely have to; they make me soooooo tired. It's been a few years since I've seen a T, and I can't remember what to expect in the first session. It's frustrating because there are so many things I want to work on but of course it will take awhile to build trust and, of course, to make sure I even like him LOL! I have started journaling again. The med combo I'm on now has been working well for over a year with only one minor adjustment which is why I decided to try therapy again; it wasn't helpful when I was cycling all the time because I was only focusing on that and not on any deeper issues; plus I didn't really know what things were just part of the bipolar symptoms and what things were part of the PTSD.

One thing I am really afraid of is that talking about the PTSD things will trigger my cycles again even though the meds have been working...if I fall into a depression, how will I know if it is because of what I'm working on in therapy or if it is a bipolar cycle (in which case I'd need a med adjustment)? I've been told by several people that this guy is the best T at the clinic and that I'm lucky I was able to get in with him. I'm really anxious and will probably need some support this week...sorry to bother you all with such a long post...

[Moreta]

Figure out what you want to work on first. When I was in the hospital, they made me pick 3 things to work on for an entire year. It's really frustrating to only work on 3 things, when there are so many other issues to deal with. I've been working on 2 of the 3 since September (1. MOM 2. Being less of a perfectionist) and I still don't have them down yet. It discourages me greatly that I am not as far as I feel I should be, but as my therapist says, it's taken 25 years to learn it one way, it won't be fixed overnight, blah, blah, blah.

Do some tapping before you go to your 1st visit to calm yourself down a bit. You would be suprised how well it works.

If you don't know what you would like to work on, lay out the problems and see what the therapist would suggest. I have a great therapist that keeps me on track and makes me responsible for my own recovery.

Good Luck.

[grizmom]

Maybe one of the first things I should work on is learning how to not get so worked up about things that haven't happened yet and how to stop the "what if" thinking. I spend WAY too much time trying to figure out how things will go (i.e. "what if I don't like the new T?" "what if he doesn't think he can help me?" "what will I work on?" "should I tell him about that?").

Does anyone else try to figure out how conversations will go? For example, I will think, "if he asks me about such and such, what will I say?" It's like I have this overwhelming need to be ready for every possible question. I don't like not knowing what will happen; I like to be prepared for anything.

[sugahorse1]

Grizmom - it seems like you may have underlying control issues. You hate not being in control of a situation, and therefore you want to prepare for every possible scenario. I think it may well be due to the anxiety you experience and the fact that you want to minimise this as much as possible.
Maybe you need to slow down and break everything into bite-sized chunks.
Give the new T a chance - remember you are not married to him/her - if you do not get anything out of your sessions or do not like his/her approach, you can always try a different T.

And feel free to post any concerns or questions you have as you go along - we're all here for each other

[kadesgirl09]

Maybe one of the first things I should work on is learning how to not get so worked up about things that haven't happened yet and how to stop the "what if" thinking. I spend WAY too much time trying to figure out how things will go (i.e. "what if I don't like the new T?" "what if he doesn't think he can help me?" "what will I work on?" "should I tell him about that?").

Does anyone else try to figure out how conversations will go? For example, I will think, "if he asks me about such and such, what will I say?" It's like I have this overwhelming need to be ready for every possible question. I don't like not knowing what will happen; I like to be prepared for anything.

I do the same exact thing. Constantly. I am always worrying about the future events and how to respond to whatever may happen. Like for example: My mother is constantly calling to have my oldest son come visit her. She guilt trips me every time but my husband always has an excuse for why Cody can not go. The main problem is my husband thinks she should ask for all the children. Plus Cody spent most of his childhood living with my parents and his biggest dream is to be able to move back to their house. SO when he goes its just a tease of what he really wants. This makes it harder on him because the reality is he lives with me in a different town now and there is no way I'm giving him up. ANYWAYS, when my mom even mentions having Cody come down my mind starts racing to what will my husband say and what if I say this will he say that; and if he says no, what do I say to my mom and what if she puts a guilt trip on me, what can I say then etc... This happens all the time with all different types of scenarios. I think Sugahorse is right about it being a control thing. But it's not like I can turn off my mind, right?

[grizmom]

Well, I'll be meeting him in 15 hours My peer support specialist was here earlier to meet with me and talking it over with her helped calm my nerves, at least for now. I will let you all know how it goes after I get home tomorrow! Thanks to everyone for the support this week!!