[sugahorse1]

Have you ever done this? Either taken a few more Benzo's than described or a few more sleeping tabs. Not with the intention of suicide, but just to make it all go away - the excessive mania, the deep depression, the feelings of nothingness?

Yes. And it's a very bad idea. It would be better to talk to your therapist or pdoc about what is going on. Messing with meds is never a good idea and indicates you really need some extra help. Are you okay?

[sugahorse1]

Just feeling crap and emo today. and 1mg of alprazolam in one hit did not go down too well with me. It's a funny stage I'm in - not quite depression yet. But beginning to feel needy and clingy, just want to get into my bed, pull the duvet over my head and let everything disappear

I'm sorry you're having a bad day. I'm right there with you. How I wish I could just melt into the bed and disappear! Hang in there.

[Trippin2.0]

beside the Zopax I've been given,there are no prescription drugs in my house. my mom does however stock up at the pharmacy.

I used to make my own cocktails consisting mostly of pain medication, and when desperate, anything that lists lethargic as a side effect.

I've taken anything from 10-26 tablets at a time, just to escape temporarily, the worst that's ever happend to me was an 18 hour "nap" and a sore tummy...

So yes, I have slightly OD'd to escape on numerous occasions (thus my current reluctance to medicate)

I hope you feel better soon Suga, you are not alone

Please keep us updated xoxo

[BNLsMOM]

Sugar, are you safe? Can you call your p-doc or ER? I feel like you are on the edge of crisis. Don't tip all the way over, please.

[Maxime]

I'm worried about you. Is there a crisis number that you can call?
I've OD'd before to escape for a few days and it's dangerous. You might mix drugs together that shouldn't be mix or take a few to many that will put you into a coma. Please talk to someone.

[grizmom]

Please call your pdoc!! I don't want anything to happen to you; I happen to like you very much!!

[kadesgirl09]

suga, please respond. we are worried about you. yes, I have done that before but it didnt mean that is was okay or safe. i was in a bad place and needed help. which I think you do too. please see your pdoc!

[Amazonmom]

"Making it all go away" scares me. I hope you are safe and will reply to us soon.

[Skully]

Yes I have. If I take enough valium I will sleep all day. It is not a good idea to do this and I suggest other fixes. I have only done that a handful of times when things were really bad. It has been a long time since I have done it, I just call my therapist now when things get bad like that.

[NuckingFutz]

Can you check in with us? We are worried about you!

[Trippin2.0]

Where are you,ur scaring the crap out of me. Hopefully you're speaking 2 ur p.doc... Hugzz

Very very much looking forward to seeing you check back in sugahorse... worried and hope you are alright.

[NuckingFutz]

What time is it where sugahorse is? Can't see her profile on my phone.

[sugahorse1]

guys, i'm still here. just managed to have a much needed sleep and let all the emotions escape me for a short while. then had some wine and really got into bed. there have been a few personal issues, with my horse leaving, exams tomorrow, working killing me - couple this with meds that seem to not be working. The people around me who I lean on for strength have got major issues in their life, therefore cannot be there for me, and it upsets me equally to see their pain.
Not at work today as I'm supposed to be on study leave, very tempted to take another sleeping tab and sleep the day thro. I know it's just another cycle and it too
will end, but it doesn't make it any easier nor less painful.

I'm 2 hours ahead of GMT, so it's just before 10AM here.

Thanks all for your concern - it's really special to know that people who don't really know you can still care the way you do.

If it wasn't for exams tomorrow, i think i would have booked myself into hospital. I just always tend to get so severely depressed when i do get down, there's no real middle of the line

[Trippin2.0]

Thanks for checking in Suga,sO relieved you're alright.

Please use your timeout from work to look after yourself, and know that your family here at PC are here for you!

[sugahorse1]

my time out is going to consist of sleeping (2 more Azor and I'll be fast asleep again) and hopefully getting some studying in
i really dont want to write tomorrow; but i'm such an analytical person and try reason with myself every step of the way, which makes me guilty for not writing tomorrow. so i'll go waste my time staring at a blank piece of paper 2moro

[Trippin2.0]

If you really can't go write your exam tomorrow, don't put yourself through the stress of having to sit through such a terrible experience. Can't you make provision to write at a later stage?

but i'm such an analytical person and try reason with myself every step of the way, which makes me guilty for not writing tomorrow.

I personally feel that [QUOTE]i'll go waste my time staring at a blank piece of paper [/QUOTE], under such an immense amount of stress will escalate the anxiety surrounding it, maybe I'm wrong, but that's just my take...

Please re-think your decision carefully..

PS I'm glad 1 of us is getting some sleep xoxo

[sugahorse1]

I've already deferred from last semester as i had too much stress to write 4 exams, so I only wrote 2

[Trippin2.0]

Well then my dear, you are an EXTREMELY BRAVE WOMAN! I commend you for making this decision, and sticking by it. Wish I had the same reslience You're an INSPIRATION!!!

I pray that God embraces you with His strength at this time, so that you may meet, or even exceed your own expectations