[Phoenix1985]

Had a great night Saturday. My finaces sister threw us a surprise engagement party. It was great!! Both his sisters, his mother and her new partner, his brother-in-law, niece and nephew, his cousin, her partner and their daughter and his aunt all came along. We had an awesome time, and so did my 5 year old daughter.

But then came Sunday night. When I crashed all of a sudden into a blubbering mess.

I haven't been able to shake the depression. I'm depressed and cranky. It's not really severe or anything. But it's there. Despite 40mg Lexapro daily (20mg morning and 20mg night). And it SUCKS!!!!

[Trippin2.0]

I'm so sorry your weekend anti-climaxed so badly...

Although I'm not depressed right at this moment...I felt like you're feeling on Saturday... I was having a good old time, and then BAM I crashed...

I'm not sure if it's a comfort or not, but atleast you have a name (and maybe a face) for your behaviour, whereas I just have to suck it up to being "sensitive" and "melodramatic"

You have the advantage of KNOWING that you have an illness that needs to be managed, you have the advantage of reaching out to people who care and can assist, you have the advantage of having medicinal assistance...

You also have a fiance' that loves you, a daughter who adores you and many people here on PC that are willing to comfort and encourage you!

I know, I really know, how sick you must be of your ever-changing moodswings, I empathize, but please try to remember, that no matter how bad/low you feel, your life's not all bad, all depressed,all mess.

There is light at the end of this emotionally overwhelming tunnel, "this too shall pass"

You deserve to feel loved,joy,pleasure,hope and all the things we think we forget how to feel when we are depressed

Please have some patience, with yourself, you WILL overcome this!

>>>>HUGZzz<<<<

[sugahorse1]

Speak to your pdoc about adding a mood stabiliser - if you don't experience huge highs, the lows may not seem so bad??
I feel that 40mg of Lexapro is quite a strong and if you have been on it for a considerable amount of a time (A month or longer) it should have helped if it ever was going to. Otherwise can I please recommend you go and speak to your pdoc ASAP and get him/her to try you on a different anti-depressant. There really are so many different ones, and while it can be frustrating, it may take a while to find the right one for you. I for one did not get on with Lexapro. (Or it with me :-) )

Has the depression got worse over time? Can you attribute it to any triggers?

Please ask your pdoc for help - severe depression is very debilitating and strains every relationship in your life. You also deserve to be healthy.
Hang in there - we are here to offer you encouragement and support

[Phoenix1985]

Ergh, the 40mg I take in two doses - 20mg morning and 20mg at night. It's what works for me. I have a feeling that I may have forgotten a dose on Saturday, which caused the sudden crash.

Thanks to both of you for taking the time to reply ((((Trippin2.0)))) ((((sugahorse))))

[WendyAussie]

It does sound like the party may have pushed youn inot some hypomnia, which can feel great at the time - especially with such a special event. But sometimes for us what goes up must come down, ie a plunge intoi depression. I was on SSRI's for6/7 years and they destroyed my life - I didn't know it all that time but they are contraindicated for me - not for all Beepers, but some. They would shoot me into hypomania/mania and then down into the deep dangerous depression and the mixed states, rapid cycling and panic and anxiety. It may be appropriate to ask about this.

But a mood stabiliser is definitely the go - with whatever other meds you are on.