[NuckingFutz]

I just want to say it! I hate being this depressed. I forgot how painful it is. Hugs to everyone in spite of my feeling down tonight. It's going to be a long night. Just felt like some help getting through this.

(((((((NuckingFutz)))))))
You're right, depression IS painful...especially when we haven't felt it for a while and it comes back so suddenly. I hope you feel better soon.

[musikcrazy]

Thinking of you and sending hugs.

[canineserenity]

I hope you are feeling better this AM. The lows are painful. They don't last forever but they seem like a lifetime while I am in them. I hope you find sunshine soon.

[katertot]

depression hurts like hell. i hope you feel better soon, as well.

[NuckingFutz]

Thank you all so much for understanding and for helping me through this! The bad pain is gone and feeling khnda worn out. Just taking it easy today. Thank you all for being here.

[thinker22]

Hope you keep on feeling better and better. I had a bad wave of depression and anxiety yesterday too. TG it always passes. It sure doesn't seem like it will when you're in the middle of it though. Take care and stay well.

[hesterprynne]

please feel better soon. i have these bouts often and i know how much they suck. they do go away, but it sure seems like forever when you're in the middle of them.
everything will be fine, believe it or not

[sanityseeker]

Enjoy your easy day Nuc. It is so nice when the darkness breaks.

[NuckingFutz]

The anxiety is gone and the depression is not as deep. Thanks!

[sanityseeker]

Awesome. Take good care.

[sugahorse1]

NF - glad you're feeling better and sorry i haven't managed to post sooner.
I can tell you I'm in a limbo at the moment - I don't feel depressed, but I hardly feel anything. The weekend just passed and i have no real perception of time looking back. Woke up with extreme anxiety this morning and am relying on my trusty clonazepam to get me through the day.
You are not alone in this walk, and you do know that these moods come in waves, and leave just as quickly as they arrived.
(((HUGS))) - feel free to PM me and vent at any time.

[owllover99]

I'm glad you're alright NF. I'm glad it was a short bout. I get sucidial when I get depressed. Please keep posting.

[kadesgirl09]

(((nuckingfutz))) hope your feeling even better today!

[canineserenity]

Glad to here you're feeling better!

[sugahorse1]

How are you doing now? I'm just tired and slowly slipping back into depression - it's very hard to find motivation feeling like this

[NuckingFutz]

Doing better. And thank you for all the support. Just haven't felt a depression so deep in a while. Glad you all were here. And to my special friend sugahorse...I know you are away from him for now at least. Look at any positives you can find without him...such as not fighting and arguing. Hang in there.

[sugahorse1]

Cheers NF - I know those depressions - no amount of logical can pull you out or talk any sense into you.
It's hard to stay on the straight and narrow, to not get suicidal. But you're out of it now nad trust me: in some way or another you have got stronger through this!!
HUGS
Jackie
xx

[sanityseeker]

I agree Suga... no amount of logic can pull me out of a depression but to some degree it does help me cope. As real as the feelings of hopelessness and dispair I have to do the work to discredit the voices of depression. Logic tells me to use my coping skills to ease the pain. I try not to have a debate about anything the depression voices are telling me. Logically I know that no amount of debate couldn't win those battles.

I never know how long the depression will last. Could be a day or a month or a year... like this last battle from the pit. Looking back at the depression rather than from within it I really think my better days were those when I practiced the best self care. When I found the will from within the darkness to meet the pain with a counter measure, then the days and nights were easier to live through. When I took the best care of me I could muster, whether that was in terms of what I ate, what I did to reduce the stress, what I did to let go of obsessive worries or negative thoughts, how I coped made a big difference to how I felt. If I believed my feelings I was dombed to suffer more then if I didn't. Discounting the feelings didn't pull me out but I think to some extent the sense of the positive self talk, faith talk, hope talk helped me cope. So much of depression is about coping. Recovery remains a mystery to me. I have no clue what causes the bubble to burst. Coping while trapped in the bubble is the best I can do.

Suicidal thoughts are part and parcel of being depressed for me. No matter how badly I feel logic keeps me safe from acting on those thoughts. I know logically how that act would impact people in my life. I would never hurt people that way. I lived through that kind of loss and I made the promise to myself on behalf of those who love me to never, no matter how badly I might feel and how badly I want free of the crazies I will never to that and leave others with that pain. My faith also tells me that while I may end my physical life my spirit goes on. Life is eternal so the consequences of suicide are not as our physcial mind imagines. There is no real escape, just a change in environment. I know.... a bit bazaar but it works for me. lol.