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#1
Jun 22, 2010, 05:50 PM
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The past month has been horribly up and down (mostly down) for me.
Today I am super agitated, can't sit still, can't concentrate, went to T and kept losing my train of thought. She could see how I was struggling and would go back to what we were talking about to try to remind me where I was in the conversation. Today I did SI because I felt like I had to...it calms me a little. It helps to ground me when I don't feel grounded. I have been doodling, but it's not working anymore. I am going to my np on thursday and then a brand new PDoc on Friday because the last one was a dunce. There are so many thoughts....but I can't get them out in time before they are fleeting thoughts. Just this post alone is taking me forever because I keep forgetting what I want to stay. Sleep....is a tough one. I can sleep about 12-15 hours and still feel exhausted, so then I have coffee and energy drinks to get through it. I have picked up smoking again. Before it was like 1, 2 or 3 a day and now I am buying my own packs, smoking up to half a pack a day. I have read that it is something that folks with Bipolar end up doing sometimes. Some pick up drinking or drugs, some pick up smoking. I'm lost....not sure why I posted this...  
__________________
"The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open."  Don’t look where you fall, but where you slipped. 
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#2
Jun 22, 2010, 06:58 PM
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I'm sorry that you're having such a rough time. I hate when I get this way. I'm glad you posted. I think it really helps to get everything out, even if you don't know why you posted! I'm here if you need to talk! It will get better, just try to be patient!
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#3
Jun 22, 2010, 09:42 PM
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I hope you feel better really soon!!
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#4
Jun 22, 2010, 10:06 PM
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I hope you get to feeling better soon my friend! I hope everything ends up well! P.S - what's SI?
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#5
Jun 23, 2010, 10:23 AM
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OOOOHHHH....... I totally get you! This is my life for the mast several months. Hang in there and if you ever need to talk pm me. Until then, know your not alone!!
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#6
Jun 24, 2010, 04:02 AM
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I picked up smoking too - so you're not alone!
Maybe it's just a hypomanic or mixed episode. Just hang in there until you see your pnurse or new pdoc. Maybe print out this post, as it clearly indicates what you are feeling. It may give the professionals some insight into what you are going thro. Hang in there and keep posting here! |
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#7
Jun 24, 2010, 04:46 AM
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Thinking of u onlmedid! ((fairandcold)) SI stands 4 self injury... HUGS AND WELL WISHES 2 MY PC FAMILY
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#8
Jun 25, 2010, 07:36 PM
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Thanks everyone. I was able to get to the new Pdoc today and he is really nice. I am going back to him on Tuesday and getting some bloodwork done on Monday. Still smoking, but the racing thoughts, agitation, etc are gone. I feel somewhat normal...as normal as I can in these times.
__________________
"The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open." Don’t look where you fall, but where you slipped.
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