[Moreta]

So for reasons that escape me now, I agreed to go to on a trip with my mother this coming weekend.

I was in a hypo-manic state when I agreed, and now that I've been thinking about it, I'm starting to become terrified about the situation. A whole weekend. With my mom. I must have had a brain fart when I agreed to it. It's not like I can get out of it either b/c she already reserved a room.

So there's going to be about 50 straight hours, including 4 hours there and back. That's more time then I've spent with her in the past 10 months. Hopefully, I will be able to get some alone time, or be around other people. She tends to act properly around other people.

What was stupid of me, was to agree to go where we are going instead of to the beach, to see some of my dad's side of the family. Then at least I wouldn't of had to stay with her, b/c I would've stayed with my cousin, and she usually stays with my Aunt.

The more I think about it, the more it freaks me out. I feel the need to hide under a rock until next Monday, so she can't find me.

[sugahorse1]

She's your mom - you love each other. Count this as bonding time.
If it is a real concern, speak to your pdoc to give you some benzo's to cope with the weekend. I think you need to make the most of it - it'll be ok! And PC is here every step of the way to offer advice and support!

From personal experience, I have accepted invitations to do things socially, then I backed out of them because I was anxious, and then ended up totally regretting that I didn't go through with it.

I sympathize greatly with your feelings of anxiety, but I think you'll regret it if you back out of this weekend. Think about it - this is just one weekend. You'll have plenty more weekends in your life. This is a great chance to spend time with your mother, and who knows? Maybe you'll have a lot of fun.

As sugahorse said, perhaps your pdoc can give you some meds to cope if you find yourself getting too anxious to handle. I hope you have a great weekend.

[blueoctober]

Originally Posted by QueenAccountant

It's not like I can get out of it either b/c she already reserved a room.

QueenAccountant, Do what feels right to you, but don't do it out of guilt. I have had to cancel hotel rooms at the last minute for work and it has never been issue. No cancellation fee etc. Even if there is a cancellation fee it would be worth swallowing it for your own mental health. Honor your feelings.

I am definitely bias because my parents are a HUGE trigger for me. I use to force myself to see my parents and in May I made the decision to stop communicating with them. Certainly I have a lot of baggage with them because of an abusive childhood, but it just got to the point that I would have anxiety for a week before I had plans to see them and after I saw them I would wake up in the middle of the night and instantly vomit from anxiety. Keep us posted.

[sanityseeker]

Hi Queen, I know exactly how you feel. I try to avoid making plans in advance for this very reason. I get caught off guard once and a while too. In mania anything is possible but then the flip sides pops up and EEKS!!!

You can back out. Yes there will be consequences with your mum so you have to weigh the pros and cons of that.

You could also plan for some accommodations. Find a middle ground you can live with. If you think a certain amount of alone time will help then plan it in. If you can talk this through with your mum all the better. You may be pleasantly surprised how open she is to plan the weekend to give you alone time rather than loose the whole weekend. It might even be a good education for her and a good chance for her to be supportive of your special needs.

Too often we try to push through and act normal. That isn't fair to us or the people we try to spend time with. Better to acknowledge your limits and live within them. You can do the weekend but it will need to be modified to accommodate your special needs.

Honour yourself enough to plan the weekend so that it is do-able. How can you plan the weekend without it being too overwhelming. Schedule alone time if that will help. Use that alone time productively. Focus it on settling the anxiety that may have built up and prepare for the next 'shift' with your mother.

You have issues with anxiety. Don't let it deny you but don't you deny it. Accommodate it and plan your time respectful of doing whatever you need to manage it. Know as much in advance as you can about her plans so that you can avoid or prepare for potential triggers. Be open and honest with your mum so that together you can plan the weekend so that it isn't going to trigger you.

You can do this. You can also choose to cancel. It is your choice. Own that power to decide and then see if you can do it and what you will need to do to make sure it is successful.

[Special-K]

UGG I know just what you mean about accepting an invite when hypomanic & becoming anxious as it approaches. Its one weekend, you'll get through it. Just try to keep yourself occupied & talking about positive things with your Mom.
I wouldn't want to spend a weekend with my Mom either for the record. LOL