Really blew it

How are you doing today, sanityseeker? Thinking of you.

Hi Innerzone. Thank you for asking. The man arrived last night with steaks in hand. We had a nice dinner and pleasant time catching up. It was good to see my son so happy to see him. They made travel plans for the rest of the summer so its all good.

As for me I just can't shake the high anxiety that has me constantly on edge. No good reason for any of it so that makes it even more frustrating. I am exhausted from the effort of destressing and it is only noontime.

I have retreated to my garden every chance I get. Watering and weeding and taking in the fragrences. Rejecting the insults flying around in my head and focusing on being okay one minute at a time. Trying not to recent but accept how poorly I am coping with no triggers to blame other than life itself.

I should be getting alone time again in a few hours. They will be going out shopping and to a movie. Likely they will be out for dinner so I won't need to deal with that.

I am just taking it one minute at a time. Just keeping the anxiety in check one breath at a time. Rejecting the judgemental thinking swimming around in my head about myself. It is what it is. I am just coping while wondering why life has to be so damned hard for me. Opps.... not questioning or feeling sorry for myself. Won't do me any good. Just keep telling myself I am doing fine. Doing just fine. No time to rag on myself. Time to just keep finding the peace.

Glad to hear that some of the stressors are relieved now, but sorry that the anxiety is continuing for you. "No good reason" is frustrating, but often how it is for us BPers. Reminding yourself and focusing on one minute at a time is a good strategy. Along with keeping yourself busy with good de-stressing things. Mmmm, flower-smelling! Maybe it's just taking your brain a bit longer to catch up. Best not to beat yourself up about it (glad you are rejecting the negative thoughts) and I hope it calms for you soon!

Have the place to myself for a few hours before they get back for a late dinner. Bbq'ed salmon, rice and beans. Easy enough. I cut the grass which worked wonders for the anxiety.

He didn't like the fabrics I bought for the shirts so good thing I didn't make them. Waste of money but I will find something else to do with the fabric so not a total loss. Will be sewing madly tomorrow and Tuesday with whatever fabric he buys today so he has them when he leaves on Wednesday.

Yes, my coping skills are working so will just keep it up and not grumble that they are necessary. At least they work!

The articles Byz posted came in handy since some of the reminders echoed in my head at a few opportune times. Thanks again Byz.

Glad things are looking up for you sanityseeker!

Thanks Blue. Hope you are having a good day. I appreciate you checking in. Take care.