[ruby57]

Hi everyone .. this is my first time on one of the PsychCentral forums. I don't know which one is the best one to be on.

I've been diagnosed with Major Depression before but I do wonder if Bipolar is more accurate ... my doctors see me when I'm down, but they don't see me very often when I am very UP. A lot of the time, the UP looks more like extreme enthusiasm and excitement for my work (I'm a writer and artist).

When I'm excited about something, I'm very, very excited. One of the things I do is that I can't stop talking about an idea when it seizes me. I also have to do it NOW ..

I don't have the marathon 3 day writing sessions that I hear other manic artists have (wish I did). But still, I wonder if Bipolar is the more accurate diagnosis.

Not that the label matters much, except when it comes to drug prescriptions (I'm on effexor) and which support group to choose. The excitement and enthusiasm predates the effexor by a whole bunch of years, so I know my excitement (or mania, if that's what it is) isn't caused by that.

What do you think? Does this sound like bipolar or just a person who gets very excited about ideas? If it is mania, I quite like it. The depression ain't so great though ..

thanks for reading
Ruby

[blueoctober]

Welcome ruby57! If you are concerned you may have bipolar, I would suggest tracking your mood. There is a great free one online at http://www.medhelp.org/land/mood-tracker I am diagnosed Bipolar II and yes I do get hypomania from time to time and in general it just makes me very driven. It can also make me energetic, super duper happy, but it also can present as irritability. Full blown mania is more serious than hypomania and can include extreme agitation, grandiosity, and psychotic features and though I have never experienced it (BP II is a person who hasn't experienced mania) from what others have described it can be quite scary.

The majority of my symptoms have been major depression and this is how I was diagnosed. I finally got help at 31 for a 3 month long major depression and was put on a SSRI anti-d. This eventually put me in a mixed state. I attempted numerous times, but luckily during the last attempt I was found and was taken to a Psych hospital where I was committed. The first week I spent in lock down, but by the second week I woke up the Monday morning "happier than a pig in s****" Obviously my mood did not match the situation I was in. I was eventually diagnosed BP II while in hospital and my stay totaled 6 weeks.

I would suggest educating yourself on BP. When I was initially diagnosed I wanted my P-doc to "prove" to me that I had BP and I requested a brain scan LOL. By educating myself on the illness I began to see the pattern in my life and concluded the diagnosis fit. It does have a strong genetic component and my mom is also diagnosed (she has BP I). Another illness you may want to look into is cyclothymia. It is on the bipolar spectrum, but is considered the most mild form of bp. Left untreated it can turn into BP II, and BP II can also progress to BP I. I agree that the correct diagnosis is important because if left untreated the illness can become more treatment resistant. This unfortunately was my experience. I hope that helps and you can certainly post where ever you feel comfortable.

[ruby57]

yes, thanks, Blue October. I wonder sometimes whether what is called Mania is just more what the Spanish call Gusto. There is an excellent book by Kay Redfield Jamison called simply "Enthusiasm" .. where she asks the question, why does psychology only look at the dark emotions and not the happy ones. It's a fascinating book, as is every book by Kay. Have you read any of her books?

PS - Blue October -- I'm Canadian too .. must be those long winters ...

[blueoctober]

Originally Posted by ruby57

PS - Blue October -- I'm Canadian too .. must be those long winters ...

Yes! I have bought a SAD lamp, so hopefully it will work to prevent the depression.