[CDoll]

I was actually given a diagnosis 3 years ago but was in a custody battle very stressed at that time now I am feeling just as anxious and crazy and unsure of myself and my damn head won't let me have any peace. I go from sad and depressed to this headachy feeling and my mind won't sop and my mouth won't stop. I am constantly embarrassing myself because I can't seem to shut up! I am having alot of trouble at work and I am convinced they are going to fire me any day now. I am driving my husband who is depressed ,crazy, he can't deal with my hyped up talking all the time. I called my medical Dr last week and asked for Xanax and picked up my script tonight and saw that he has prescribed me depakote. I had discussed the previous psych doc dx of bipolar with him a couple of months ago but told him I thought I was just stressed and didn't want meds yet ...so I guess he has seen me enough all wired up that he is convinced. I am hoping that by description here other people with bipolar disorder could tell me what they think. I am a nurse and there is so much stigma about this diagnosis that I am having a really hard time accepting this! If anyone can convince me that I am bipolar I think it will be others who share the disorder! I am desperate for relief from this whatever it is! I have kinda always been this way and sometimes I like being this way, it is still better than my depressions where I lie on my couch and hope I don't wake up! I am 38 female with 2 teenaged children, single mom, remarried.Any insight into what is going with me would be greatly appreciated!
I have so many questions!

[blueoctober]

Welcome CDoll; I'm glad you decided to post. I think many of us have questioned our diagnosis when we were first diagnosed......I requested a brain scan from my P-doc, so I had proof LOL!

I would suggest tracking your mood and you may or may not see a pattern. You may also be able to identify triggers i.e. stress, what you ate/drank, sleep issues etc. I have found a great free one online at: http://www.medhelp.org/land/mood-tracker

What helped me accept the diagnosis was educating myself on the disorder. I have read countless books on it. I can also understand the concern with the stigma. It does exists and I think this is why many people don't seek help for mental health issues. I have written a blog about this topic.

Hope that helps and welcome!

[vjdragonfly]

Hi Cdoll and welcome to the forum. It does sound like you are suffering from bipolar, but I am not a doctor. I've been dx bipolar for a couple of years now and I still at times question it. But I can look back and see the symptoms. Sorry you are going through this right now. I wish you the best.

[thinker22]

As a first step, you could take the bipolar quiz on this site: http://psychcentral.com/quizzes/bipolarquiz.htm

It should give you an accurate reading of if you have or have ever had the symptoms of bipolar. From there I would take your results to your doctor. Rapid speech is an indication of a manic or mixed episode. But there are other factors too.

I wish you all the best in your quest to get well. You can still have the life you want even if you do end up with a BP diagnosis. There are medications that can do wonders. Mine have...after a 2 year search for the right combo. It's best to get treatment as soon as possible as symptoms tend to get worse over time if untreated.

Take care

[RecoveryInstructor]

Cdoll,

What has worked for you in the past when facing issues such as these? I think there's a tendency to forget how resilient and capable we are in the midst of our challenges.

-K

[sugahorse1]

Keeping track of your moods is a good idea - thereafter I would consider going to see a psychologist or pdoc to get a new opinion

[Yoda]

hello blueoctober

The s/s you mention are similar to mine except the headachey feeling. I am bipolar, ADHD with a bit of PTSD thrown in there. I am a nurse too. I denied the bipolar diagnosis for several years until I finally was reading about how a traumatic event can provoke it and I realized what I was reading described me.

Depakote did not help me but it works well for some. I had to try several combinations of meds before I found what worked for me.

Good luck!

Hi CDoll and welcome! In addition to the above poster's suggestions, I see that though the psych gave the diagnosis, but at this point the GP seems to be getting involved in a way that might be problematic. Regular GPs are very often out of their depth with psych issues, though many unfortunately don't realize/won't admit it). There are just so many ins and outs with BP, meds that work so differently for different people, med adjustments that are very commonly needed, and you can quickly see how all these details might be a bit much for a GP to keep up with (both current knowledge and observation-wise) and to catch the finer points of.

(I personally had a really bad experience with this... hugely insufficient screening (3 words, no joke!) which led to improper meds that only made things worse. For 2-3 years. A long time when things to get that bad.)

We can't diagnose of course, but from your description, it does deserve further exploration. Keep us posted, ok?

[blueoctober]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

Regular GPs are very often out of their depth with psych issues, though many unfortunately don't realize/won't admit it).

Great point Innerzone!