[sanityseeker]

Well I made the appointment and I talked with my new doctor about treatment for the bi polar. No meltdowns. Yippee!!

I went to the mental health clinic to make an appointment with a counsellor I had heard was back from his leave of absence only to learn he was gone again. No meltdown.

I went for bloodwork this morning and I guess I fasted too long because they had trouble finding a vain and it took 4 pokes before they got what they needed. No meltdown.

I am so proud of myself for coping through all those triggers as well as I did.

I took a script from the doc for Seroquel and I actually took one last night. I slept 9 hours straight. I haven't had 9 hours of sleep in years. I even wanted more and felt a little stoned for a couple of hours after I got out of bed but that may have been dehydration from the fasting rather than a hangover from the med.

I am proud of all the fears I faced and conquered the last couple of days. Just had to share.

[vjdragonfly]

Way to go sanityseeker!!!! That is quite an accomplishment. I am so happy for you.

[thinker22]

Good for you. Sounds like you're making serious progress.

[sanityseeker]

Thanks guys. I count it as progress even if it is all happening 'between episodes' when I am naturally less triggered I am still counting it all as progress. There was a time I couldn't walk out my door or pick up a phone or do much of anything without having a meltdown so I am acknowledging my progress today. Thank you for sharing my joy VJ and Thinker. Blessings.

[sanityseeker]

I am actually off to challenge another fear today. Or at least a typically anxiety ridden exercise. I am just about to head off for a 2 plus hour drive to the airport in the city to collect my son after his visit with his dad. The heat will be stiffling, the traffic horrible and the people innumerable but I can do this. No sweat.... well heat sweat but no anxiety sweat. I am good to go.

[bridgie]

Kudos for getting through with no meltdowns. Its a journey we just keep going on.

[blueoctober]

That's great sanityseeker! Thanks for sharing the good news!

[Anneinside]

Originally Posted by sanityseeker

I went for bloodwork this morning and I guess I fasted too long because they had trouble finding a vain and it took 4 pokes before they got what they needed. No meltdown.

It is great that you have done so well with the whole process. Just a note, the next time you have to give blood drink plenty of water to stay hydrated so that they may have better luck in finding a vein.

[sanityseeker]

Thanks everyone. Even a 90 minute crawl in the blazing heat through a traffic accident zone didn't trigger a melt down! Came close but I talked my way through it. I am invincible! LOL.

Thanks for the advice Anne. I thought it was a total fast.... no water.... but I could be wrong on that. They said 10 hours and it was probably closer to 12 by the time I got to the lab because I had slept later then usual due to the seroquel. What a sleep that was! So nice to sleep.

[sugahorse1]

I'm glad for you. I'm sure it could not have been easy to face what you had to face.
See, if you break things into small chunks, they are a lot more manageable.

And you even survived the drive

[sanityseeker]

That's exactly right. Small chunks. The approach was really tested on the drive. I saw cars going by on a parallel secondary road and I was cursing myself for not thinking to take it myself. I caught myself in time to prevent a raging meltdown. Don't go there girl. It's okay. You will get there eventually. Accept and find something good in the NOW. Just then I noticed some eagles soring in the sky and I watched them and imagined myself up there with them and it help to calm me down. At another point I was making up stories about the people in the other cars. That kept my mind occupied and helped the time go faster. Once the traffic finally got past the scene I took some time to acknowledge my good work. While the wind cooled me down I was singing my own praises. lol. I didn't go into racing panic mode to make up time. Instead I just kept in the NOW and ignored the time.

A few more hassles at the airport and I finally found my son and all was right with the world again.

[Amandas256]

Way to go Sanityseeker! Thanks for posting this. It gives me hope! Have a good day and continue to rock this illness!

[sanityseeker]

Thanks Amanda. It was a day of victories on lots of levels so yea lets keep the hope alive. I am taking it slow and easy today since I feel a bit wasted from yesterday. The weather has cooled a little so I plan to spend the whole day in the garden for more time in the now with no thoughts but the garden going through my head. I feel a bit racy and think I need the calm of my garden to keep it from escalating.

Time now to make a bite of lunch and return to the garden. Everything else on the to do list will just have to wait.

[vjdragonfly]

Enjoy your gardening sanity seeker, you deserve it. Be proud of yourself you have overcame alot.

[sanityseeker]

Thanks VJ. Haven't actually done much gardening since I took a break for lunch. I am now just enjoying sitting here in the garden with my labtop.

A voice in my head is trying to make me feel lazy and guilty for just sitting here relaxing instead of 'accomplishing something'. Instead of agreeing with the assessment I tell myself back, 'I am accomplishing something. I am practicing self care. Yesterday was taxing. It is wise for me to take the time to recover because if I don't it could cost me tomorrow.'

No doubt I will get back to the flowers that need tending but for now I am just taking in the sunshine and the cool breeze coming through and giving thanks for the space I am blessed with to have a garden so giving of beauty and healing energy.

Well done, sanityseeker.

[sanityseeker]

Thanks Byz. You post brought me back here to be encouraged by both your praise and my own post of acceptance. lol. I am so void of energy these last few days I have begun to loose hope but I shall take some time now to count my blessings and stop fussing about what is no going so well.

Thank you my friend. I wish you only wellness. Be well.

[PromisesToKeep]

Originally Posted by sanityseeker

Thanks everyone. Even a 90 minute crawl in the blazing heat through a traffic accident zone didn't trigger a melt down! Came close but I talked my way through it. I am invincible! LOL.

Thanks for the advice Anne. I thought it was a total fast.... no water.... but I could be wrong on that. They said 10 hours and it was probably closer to 12 by the time I got to the lab because I had slept later then usual due to the seroquel. What a sleep that was! So nice to sleep.

When you are ordered fasting blood work, one of the most important things that you can do for your body is to keep yourself hydrated as much as possible. For that matter, keeping yourself well hydrated is very important because our water content is required for most of our organs to operate efficiently. Drink up!

Cheers,
ptk

[sanityseeker]

Thanks ptk... I won't make that mistake again.